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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

764 replies

elcarmen · 03/07/2018 14:55

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
DistanceCall · 03/07/2018 22:01

ikeepaforkinmypurse Grin

xJessica · 03/07/2018 22:03

Wow the OP is getting a hard time here!

OP - I can totally see your point, I really can. You're wanting a classy wedding with lovely photos to look back on, and you're going to have Poppy from Trolls on the pics. I think it was really selfish of her to do this - couldn't she have waited one more week?! It's especially bad if it's going to clash with the dresses. Flowers

dailyshite · 03/07/2018 22:05

This is slightly off topic but is the 'cool wife' insult supposed to imply that people are lying about not giving a shit about this stuff? I don't get it

GorgonLondon · 03/07/2018 22:07

I think so dailyshite . It's usually used to refer to women who say things like "oh my god you're so uptight, I would be totally fine with my husband sharing his bed naked with his hot young female colleague after two bottles of champagne", by those who think this is maybe not very plausible.

It doesn't really work in this context, does it? Grin Because the majority of sane, normal people don't give a fuck what colour someone else's hair is.

HappyLollipop · 03/07/2018 22:14

I don't see the big deal Confused people aren't stupid the attention will still be on you as the bride and pink hair really isn't that weird anymore so won't garner the attention you seem to think it will and nor will it ruin your photos. Relax and enjoy your big day!

whattheactualfuckery · 03/07/2018 22:29

Very recently I went to a wedding and one of the bridesmaids was told to bleach her hair blonde or brown! She did as well, she had lovely pink and blue hair before. Thought it was a bloody cheek and couldn't believe she actually bleached her hair!

ObiJuanKenobi · 03/07/2018 22:33

I love when people post these sorts of threads and then get shitty with peoples responses Grin 'you can keep your opinions about that to yourself' yeah we can but we won't..
You can choose not to be a dick but I don't think that'll happen either.

beeefcake · 03/07/2018 22:44

I can't see OPs point it's a shitty thing to go, I'm also anal about colour coordination so would be furious.

Couldn't she have just waited ffs?

Whisky2014 · 03/07/2018 22:48

I would be annoyed i have to say. I wouldn't disinvite her but id tell her she shoulnt be a bridesmaid any more since generally they are in a lot of photos.

Id feel the same if it was a groomsman too.

Ethylred · 03/07/2018 22:49

This reply has been deleted

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AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 03/07/2018 22:58

It really is all about the photos and being colour coordinated isn’t it? You poor people.

HairDyedPink · 03/07/2018 23:01

It's the bridesmaid's job to be shagged by the best man.

still plenty of time to get a matching vajazzle and satisfy the bride who is so uptight about colour coordination.

Whisky2014 · 03/07/2018 23:02

Not about being colour coordinated. Just not looking like a dick.

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 03/07/2018 23:09

Oh, it’s that shade of pink....

HairDyedPink · 03/07/2018 23:10

Just not looking like a dick.

which would be a strange achievement for a vajazzle Confused

WhatDidItSay · 03/07/2018 23:14

It wouldn’t bother me at all and I don’t think it would look bad. Lots of people have died hair. I don’t think dyed hair has to go with clothing.

However, if you genuinely think she did it to upstage you or to upset you then that is a real issue.

I can’t believe she is your ‘dearest’ friend. If so then I wouldn’t want to meet your other less dear friends.

northernruth · 03/07/2018 23:40

This thread is evenly split between people who curate their weddings, dream of them from childhood and sit around afterwards with the photo albums reminiscing....

And people that I'd happily go for a drink with.

GorgonLondon · 03/07/2018 23:44

Mine's a double gin with slimline tonic please northern Grin

Nixee2231 · 03/07/2018 23:55

Ive had all shades of pink hair from pastel to neon the last 15 years so needless to say Im all for crazy colors. I even had bright pink hair for my own wedding! However I still think this is a really shitty thing to do to a bride a week before her big day. Its different if they already knew you had pink hair when they invited you but to do it at the last minute is selfish and inconsiderate in my opinion. It might be a fad for the bridesmaid that will be gone in a few weeks but the bride’s photos will be lived with and cherished forever and the pink hair will always stick out like a sore thumb. Not to mention it will steal a lot of attention.

Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown · 03/07/2018 23:55

@northernruth Grin

Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown · 04/07/2018 00:00

@Nixee2231 but Nixeee that's like all wedding albums. All the wedding albums of the 70s/80s where the groomsmen have long hair and taches, and the groomsmen at the end who had hair like a punk. Or today where a few of the bridesmaids will have massive black slugs above their eyes, or the millennium where people had tiger stripe highlights. It's the best thing about wedding albums in later years, looking at the fashion styles!

There is absolutely nowt selfish about an individual having pink hair! It's their own bloody hair!!!

greenlynx · 04/07/2018 00:05

I'm not surprised that she dyed her hair before the wedding, people often do something with their hair style/colour before a big event and pink/blue/green hair are very popular at the moment. ( It would NEVER be my choice but...)
You choose colour theme and dresses for your BMs but you can't dictate other things. Her hair - her choice.
By the way, kitten naming looks very strange. It would encourage me rethink our relationship. But you asked about hair, and my answer is YABVU.

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 04/07/2018 00:08

Grin Northern! Jameson’s with ginger and lime please.

ChildFreeWeek · 04/07/2018 00:22

YABU I don't think you should dictate bridesmaid's hairstyle/colour.

However, from what you've said about the kitten and what she was like at her wedding etc, this is possibly deliberate. If she would get very angry if the situation was reversed, I wouldn't expect her to do it to you if she was a real friend. I think she resents you or angry is about something but she deals with it in a passive aggressive manner. It she is your oldest friend you will know what she's like. But I would reconsider the friendship TBH and let it slip after the wedding. I ended up ghosting my oldest friend when I realised how self absorbed and how little I got from the friendship: she didn't come out with me for my 18th as she got a better offer for the evening was one of many things. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and then reassess.

Sparkles1992 · 04/07/2018 00:38

I don't understand why it matters? No one is going to look at her hair and think God the bride was ridiculous choosing a colour scheme that would clash with her bridesmaids hair. Plus if it does look ridiculous it's only her that is going to look a bit silly. If she put on 3 stone, would you un-invite her? Seems a bit of a strange thing to be annoyed at and very shallow HmmHmmHmm

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