Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

[elcarmen]

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

And now I have purple hair. I've had blue hair too. It wouldn't be the hair that would bother me at all, it would be the dress colour I suppose! Something more versatile would mean I wouldn't worry about any bridesmaid dying her hair turquoise.

Lilajuvel It's a day I've been dreaming of my whole life, DP isn't as fussed about weddings... He doesn't walk past a shop full of suits and think "wedding", whereas I love looking at the dresses in bridal shop windows and imagining which one I would wear.

Oh my god. You've been 'dreaming your whole life' of your wedding day and spend your time fantasising about your wedding dress? This isn't real, is it? No actual person thinks these things, surely?

Someone who dyes their hair to a bright colour a week before they are bridesmaid for a wedding for attention / reaction is a bitch

That said, don't give it any attention. Put her on end of some photo groups & have loads without her. Check if your photographer can photoshop her hair colour or do black & white versions. If she looks ridiculous, it's her own fault.

I had a friend who's sister dyed her hair bright cherry red & dresses were burgundy - she looked ridiculous & everyone was sniggering at her all day

Bride got some black & white photos printed out

Oh my god. You've been 'dreaming your whole life' of your wedding day and spend your time fantasising about your wedding dress? This isn't real, is it? No actual person thinks these things, surely?

When I was a kid I would plan my career, house, pets, everything. And yes, I've always wanted to be married and always wondered (not everyday, just now and again), what dress would I have, what flowers etc. I do this with home decor though, too. I don't own a home, but I always look on Dulux etc and wonder what colours I'd paint my walls, which furniture etc. And I live (entirely by accident) above a bridal shop so I do get to see the dresses fairly regularly.

YADNBU.

I'd be furious.

Sadly some people can't be happy for someone else and let them have their special day talking from experience.

And I really struggle to care what colour another adult dyes their hair.

Why should the bm have told the op what she was doing with her hair?

I agree it really doesn't sound like you do like her from the latests posts. Why are you friends?
Do you really like her or is it just because you’ve known her for so long?
I would be massively hurt if i’d received those texts ( and it sounds like she is too) i would be rethinking the friendship. ( me personally)

It wouldn't bother me .. it's her hair. Of course everyone will still look at you. They might look at her too but what does it matter?

It's not the pink hair really though.
It's the decsion to dye it completely out of context ,right before the day she knows she needs to wear and do what the Op wants.
Which is passive aggressive at best and malicious at worse.

Not the whole world, nice hyperbole.

“Lilajuvel

OP doest everyone get tired of making the world revolve around you?

It's her wedding day. The world should revolve around her and her DH.”

So when you said “the world” you didn’t mean the world?

Someone who dyes their hair to a bright colour a week before they are bridesmaid for a wedding for attention / reaction is a bitch

Who says women's worst enemys are other women.

People do things to their body's, hair, ect it isn't all about the bride. People's lifes are their own to lead not to make some perfect wedding shot.

Next you will be telling the depressed member of the wedding party to cheer up a bit.

The world doesn't revolve around you.

YABU
If you really want to be married she could turn up starkers and it wouldn’t matter.
You+DP= that’s all you need

Its fine for her to " choose" pink hair. You're right, it's up to her to decide what to do with her body.
It's up to to the op to decide what hers bridesmaids wear though.
I would be making sure she wasn't in my bridesmaids dress though.

It's fine if you're cool with it but who upsets the bride over " it's just hair colour" if that's all it is.

Look you've got a lovely day planned and a whole new chapter in your life starting. Forget about the pink hair, it really won't matter either on the day or in the years to come.

This would annoy me! Its different if she always has pink hair.

I would make sure you get some pictures without her in

So when you said “the world” you didn’t mean the world

No, of course not. I was just playing on the "world revolve around you". "The world" is not what's being asked at all. To think that someone just wanting things not to clash on their wedding day is making "the whole world revolve around them" is ludicrous.

I can't believe that colour co ordinating hair and dresses rates more highly than this person being your friend.

It's common for brides to become batshit with regards to their day though, wanting to micro manage everything and everyone and this is a prime example.

Take your head out of your arse.

God. Sometimes I think the internet has made people crazy. What your wedding looks like overall is NOT important. What's important is the fun on day, the time you all spend together, the vows you make. If she wants to dye her hair a colour that clashes with her outfit then whatever. After a few years you will put away the wedding album and never look at it again apart from the one picture of you and dh that's in a frame in your house. No one else will care. No one.

It’s making someone else’s hair about them. All for one day. Not even one day. A few hours and some photographs. When it literally doesn’t even matter. No-one is going to be putting these wedding photos on best weddings dot com and deducting points for pink haired bridesmaids. literally no-one cares what colour hair anyone’s bridesmaids have. It doesn’t ruin the wedding or have any impact at all.

@DiddimusStench how vile. I am genuinely stunned by some of these posts. I had an incredibly relaxed wedding. Everyone chipped in and made the day wonderful. I loved the way all the different quirks and amazing skills/tastes my family and friends impacted on the day, and our guests all said they had had a wonderful time.

My DSis was a fricking nightmare. My first RL Bridezilla. Everything had to be BEYOND perfect. I should have known when she dictated how her BDress/hair/makeup would be for our wedding, but really didn't see it coming (as I am quite relaxed about these things). We are super close but never ever mention her wedding, nor subsequent anniversaries...

Exactly. The bride and groom will be looking at their photos forever.

So why if it doesn't have any impact does it bother the bridesmaid to dye it back then?

I just don't get it because it's what I would do for someone important to me who I cared about, because I would want them to be happy and have their say they way they want it. Maybe it's because I haven't been to loads of weddings so it wouldn't kill my hair, but if someone invited me to be a bridesmaid and asked if I could tone the hair down a bit, I would change the shade. I don't think having my hair exactly how I like it is more important than the bride being happy for that few hours or day. I tried on bridesmaids dresses with my aunt and if she had said she didn't like my favourite one, I would have chosen a different one and tried to compromise, even if I liked it less. I don't really like how I look in her photos, but it doesn't matter because it's not about me.

My bridesmaid bleached her hair a fortnight or so before my wedding. My mum went nuts. Livid. Told me to tell the BM to get her hair dyed.

Did I? No. Her hair wasn't my concern. I genuinely hadn't thought about how BM hair "should" look.

Years later, BM told me she was going to dye her hair to a more subdued tone but my mum's reaction made her keep the bleach. I mean, shed lucky she knows me and knew I wasn't bothered, but fair Fucks to her. My mum was a loon when I got married.