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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

764 replies

elcarmen · 03/07/2018 14:55

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

OP posts:
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16
fruitcider · 03/07/2018 17:22

Ugh if my bridesmaid did this I would say she has 3 options:

  1. dye it back
  2. buy a wig
  3. don't bother coming

I wouldn't put up with this attention seeking behaviour at all!

Lilajuvel · 03/07/2018 17:24

Also you sound like my old teacher - she needs to dye her hair a natural colour, this isn't the 1950s.

I think you'll find that you still can't go to school with pink hair in most places. College maybe.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 03/07/2018 17:24

Yes because prancing around naked is EXACTLY the same as dying your hair pink

No, it’s not, obviously. Hmm But since that’s not the point I was responding to, that’s irrelevant. Do try to keep up.

VauxhallVectra · 03/07/2018 17:24

I think you misunderstood what i meant when i said she has to be there.

What i meant was i'll be so sad if she doesn't come and i don't want it to come to that, I just thought that she could've waited until after the wedding to do this. I understand it's not the biggest issue in the universe but for some reason it just made me feel really crap...

So, basically you want to make yourself a martyr because either she comes and you'll be unhappy because of her hair or she doesn't come and you'll be unhappy because she's not there.

Either way, you get to feel sorry for yourself.

ApolloandDaphne · 03/07/2018 17:25

I am with you OP. It is a very passive aggressive thing to do and it would have made me very angry. Yes she can have pink hair if she wants but surely she could have waited until after the wedding?

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 03/07/2018 17:25

OP is getting a hard time. It's cruel to poke fun at her dresses. She wants red, she can have red

OP - I think this conversation shows AIBU at its worst. If you had posted "I dyed my hair pink for fun, the bride is upset, AIBU?" then you would have been shot down in flames for being so selfish and attention seeking

I notice that a lot of people like to be contrary on here

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 03/07/2018 17:25

Of course it's made you feel like crap. Like it would the majority of us. Who wants a bright pink haired bridesmaid? Unless you're all into that type of thing.

And yes I bet it doesn't suit her. It doesn't suit anyone.

Singlenotsingle · 03/07/2018 17:26

Give her a wig to wear

RebelRogue · 03/07/2018 17:26

I think you'll find that you still can't go to school with pink hair in most places.

Sadly Sad Can't wait for the summer holidays Grin

DiddimusStench · 03/07/2018 17:26

I really want to be a fly on the wall if your DC’s teacher ever turns up to class naked one day and watch you being grimly “absolutely FINE” with that. Or if your boss invites you into their office to discuss your performance while they are naked. Or, you know, in a Weinstein-style towelling robe.

Oh please. Dramatic much? Pink hair vs nudity. Trainers vs nudity. Jeans vs nudity. Do get a grip dear. The examples you cite will NEVER happen.

PickAChew · 03/07/2018 17:26
MrMeSeeks · 03/07/2018 17:27

OP - I think this conversation shows AIBU at its worst. If you had posted "I dyed my hair pink for fun, the bride is upset, AIBU?" then you would have been shot down in flames for being so selfish and attention seeking
Nope, reply would be the same.
Your friends should be happy that you care enough to turn up, help, support you, not what colour your hair is.

cricketmum84 · 03/07/2018 17:27

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross don't be sarcastic dear.

The point was you were taking it to extremes! PP said she didn't care what people wore (or something to that effect). There's always one who shouts up "ah but what if they were naked!". MN is like trying to have a conversation with a load of kids sometimes... Wink

Gah81 · 03/07/2018 17:27

Fwiw, I like the idea of red bridesmaids dresses. I think people are being unfairly rude to the OP about the dresses etc. (and I say that as someone who firmly believes the OP IBU (and I say that as someone who experienced what I suppose is similar at my own wedding and was fine with it)).

Lilajuvel · 03/07/2018 17:27

My MIL to be died 1week before our wedding, another guest went into early labour on the way to the venue and my bridesmaid drunkenly got a huge henna tattoo the day before. I must remember to tell them all how rude they were

Yeah, I'd be pissed about the drunken henna night before. Can't do anything about the labour though so that's an extenuating circumstance surely Hmm hardly the same.

DiddimusStench · 03/07/2018 17:28

Now, if my boss or my kids teacher dyed their hair pink (which btw is an accurate comparison), I wouldn’t bat an eye lid although I know that’s unlikely too due to arbitrary rules in both professions. I don’t agree with those either.

MuttsNutts · 03/07/2018 17:29

She ‘needs’ to be at the wedding? Hmm.

I thought she was one of your oldest friends? If that is the case you should want her there regardless of pink hair, no hair or a mohican.

Your priorities are skewed.

Get a grip of yourself and focus on what is, or what should be, important.

Lilajuvel · 03/07/2018 17:29

Sadly sad Can't wait for the summer holidays grin

I agree it's sad. I got put in exclusion for having red streaks in my dark brown hair.

VauxhallVectra · 03/07/2018 17:30

Telling people how to dress and how to look isn’t decent in my book. Ever

I really want to be a fly on the wall if your DC’s teacher ever turns up to class naked one day and watch you being grimly “absolutely FINE” with that. Or if your boss invites you into their office to discuss your performance while they are naked. Or, you know, in a Weinstein-style towelling robe

What kind of dumb fuck analogy is that?

The other poster was saying you can't police what people wear, not whether or not they wear clothes in the first place. Of course you can police that, and should in the cases you pointed out (workplace and school).

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/07/2018 17:30

Skaross
It is very sad your mil died. Your friend going into labour was obviously unavoidable. I’m struggling to understand the correlation here unless you like sticking the boot in.

RebelRogue · 03/07/2018 17:31

@Lilajuvel I work in the school!!🙈 2 more weeks until My Little Pony hair.Grin

DiddimusStench · 03/07/2018 17:31

What kind of dumb fuck analogy is that?

Or that Grin

Bullieseverywhere · 03/07/2018 17:31

I really sympathise. My maid of honour did this too except she went pillar box red and clashed with everything. The only photos I’ve ever displayed of her on my wedding day are in black and white. She’s apologised in recent years for being an idiot. I have to say though, it didn’t spoil our day one little bit, it was still amazing in every way. You’ll still be the centre of attention regardless. Hope you have a wonderful day!

DiddimusStench · 03/07/2018 17:32

What kind of dumb fuck analogy is that?

Or that Grin

DiddimusStench · 03/07/2018 17:33

So good I had to say it twice.

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