Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

[elcarmen]

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

It's nice to have some good photos to remember the day of course, but taking issue over a bridesmaids hair colour is way over the top in my opinion. Who gives a fuck? You're getting married! It's going to be a fantastic day, why does everything have to be uniform to make it 'perfect'. You've got a fabulous dress, a colour theme, flowers, pretty venue it's all going to be fine. So one bridesmaid has pink hair...and?? All eyes will be on you and H to be anyway. Just enjoy your day, it really won't matter. What might ruin it will be falling out with a bridesmaid and life long friend over something so petty and this tainting it forever.

I think it is a bit sad to get worked up over these sorts of things when you're supposed to be celebrating your marriage not worrying about it being picture perfect.

If it doesn't matter what people look like at your wedding, why not suggest people go in jeans or whatever 'casual' clothes they feel like, turn up anytime and don't wash or comb their hair. That would be ridiculous. Right?

If you invite someone to your special day, you expect them to make a bit of an effort. Not to dye their hair pink the week before, knowing you won't like it. It is rude and disrespectful.

Festivals of Narcissism

Brilliant Spot on description 😁😁😁😁😁😁

OP doest everyone get tired of making the world revolve around you?

It's her wedding day. The world should revolve around her and her DH.

festivals of narcissism Surely we are allowed one festival of narcissism in our lives. Dying your hair pink a week before you are a BM when you don't normally have pink hair says 'Look at meeeeeee!' She's the narcissist.

why not suggest people go in jeans or whatever 'casual' clothes they feel like, turn up anytime and don't wash or comb their hair.

There's a difference between going to a wedding in your PJs and stinking and getting a fucking hairdye, you know.

Dying your hair pink a week before you are a BM when you don't normally have pink hair says 'Look at meeeeeee!'

Because the bride is the only one who can be looked at?

But it’s not rediculous Jaxhog! I did just that. I told people to wear what they felt comfortable in - I did! I had people on jeans, people in trainers, different colours. My MIL looked like a fucking liquorice allsort FFS! I’ve since been to weddings where I’ve been told to wear whatever made me feel comfortable.

It’s not rediculous, it’s not uncommon. Some people are just decent.

She will look like her own person...she is not an extension of you so don't take this personally.

Just photoshop her out of the pictures.

She has obviously done it in purpose. Attention seeking

Anyone over the age of 16 shouldn't be walking around with bright coloured hair anyway imho

I'm 47, I have bright red hair. Just as well its 2018 we live in not 1918.

OP I get it. One of my bridesmaids decided to wear 6 inch heels and stick the most crazy amount of fake tan on the night before my wedding. Although I had a moment of burning "oh ffs really, now?!" I had to accept it was minimal compared with the day itself, would have no actual impact on me unless I let it, and it was more about her than me...she had insecurity issues, especially around me, for some reason. It had plagued our friendship, and I was naive thinking it wouldn't rear its head then.

I'd guess there's some sort of underlying tension between you if your expectations of her are so low, and if this is something she would do just to take attention from you on your wedding day she is clearly DEEPLY insecure too.

I promise I know how hard it is to do this, but concentrate on all the fantastic things about your day and try to ignore what she's doing. If she has Indeed done it on purpose, that will scupper her plans, and if she hasn't, no harm done.

derxa festivals of narcissism Surely we are allowed one festival of narcissism in our lives.

a) It's incredibly grim and vain to hold a 'festival of narcissism' to celebrate yourself, even if it is only once.

b) It never is only once with these types. Guaranteed they also have engagement announcements/parties, hen parties, baby showers, gender reveals, milestone birthday parties, anniversary parties, and probably vow renewals. In a few decades' time they'll be posting their entrance to the nursing home on the 2050s equivalent of Facebook, still hunting for likes.

I live in the Land Of No Pink Haired People. This thread is quite an insight into The Land Of I'm Wacky, Me.

Surely this is one for MNHQ Classics??!! Except I've run out of bloody popcorn...

I live in the Land Of No Pink Haired People.

You live in Iran?

So people will slag off my bridesmaids dresses but won't slag off my newly pink haired bridesmaid?

it’s not rediculous, it’s not uncommon. Some people are just decent.

So asking people to dress smartly and not casually would be indecent? Unless you do what you did and say "anything goes" then you're not a decent person?

So people will slag off my bridesmaids dresses but won't slag off my newly pink haired bridesmaid?

Yep.

I'm married and have been a bridesmaid earlier this year and am going to be later in the year these are for my two best friends. I don't think it would be appropriate at all to dye my hair an unnatural colour prior. Nor would I have accepted on of my BM's doing so, I wouldn't have asked them to dye it back, but they would not have been a BM. Happily my friends are not so selfish. All those saying the bride shouldn't care about the frivolous parts of weddings it's HER wedding and she can care about whatever she likes.

Also I did dictate lipstick and nail colour for my wedding, I bought them all the same lipstick as gifts and paid for them to have their nails done.

My friend has asked us to all wear red lipstick for her wedding this fits the look she is after, should I say well actually I'm loving my estee coral at the mo so I'm wearing that? No!

Aesthetics are down the the bride, this means you style your hair how they plan/ask you to. You have your makeup how they would like you to, you wear what they ask you to.

You live in Iran? Unfortunately not.

Yes OP, you’re a victim of the pink haired heinous crime, we all get it

"festivals of narcissism" is genius. Also had a wedding myself.

Looking back at my photos, my dress is a bit shit. Whevs. Some of the photos are so naff they have us howling with laughter (when we show our daughter).

My best mate wouldn't be a bridesmaid because she'd just had her youngest daughter and was worried she'd look fat in the photos. Now THAT'S something we both regret.

Let her be bridesmaid and come to your wedding just don't have her in any of the wedding photos

Telling people how to dress and how to look isn’t decent in my book. Ever.