Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

[elcarmen]

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

She would've reacted even worse if i had done it to her

Bingo!

And there we have it.

She didn't do it to you, OP. She did it to her self, for herself.

Please, please, get over yourself or you won't enjoy your wedding and you'll lose a good friend, to boot.

Your friend doesn’t sound very kind tbh. If she had a special event she wanted her hair pink for she would have said, surely? I’d be pissed off. It sounds as if she’s perhaps trying to put the spotlight on her especially as you say she would have been even more upset than you. Not a nice trait.

I got married in a few beautiful vintage gowns, though I always make an effort with my appearance and dress up/wear things i love every day, so it wasn't for the photos - more because it wouldn't be me otherwise!

We didn't have a professional photographer, just asked friends to send us any photos they took on their smartphones. HTH to PP.

And I didn't have bridesmaids either - just a few friends who stayed over the night before, could wear what they like and didn't have any duties. Sounds like I saved myself a lot of stress, reading some of the MN threads about weddings .

Wedding was nice, marriage is lovely (thus far, anyway!).

I'm with ya @AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale

I am all for supporting the bride and laugh inside at bridezilla, but I am genuinely baffled by that one. It wouldn't even have occurred to me that someone would be bothered one way or another by hair colour.

I did read about bridezillas irate because their bridesmaid dared being pregnant and spoil the photos, I guess these people do exist in real life.

A wedding and a party sounds like the perfect occasion to dye your hair! I agree, red and pink is not the best combo, but each to their own.

Do bridesmaid also have to obey rules about nail polish, jewelry and underwear? Do they have to remove a ring with a bigger diamond than the bride's? Try to make themselves look unattractive not to upstage the bride?

Look, you can either make a big deal out of it and risk pissing off a friend, or you can just roll with it, and enjoy your day regardless. It doesn't matter what colour your friends hair is, it won't impact on the day one tiny little bit.

In 20 years time you will all look stupid in the photographs when you look back at them.

Get a grip luvvie

MAYBE THE BM HAS MORE IMPORTANT STUFF THAN OP'S WEDDING GOING ON IN HER LIFE THAT SHE WANTED PINK HAIR FOR

I think this is a bit of a wind up tbh.

Yep I agree with you derxa

I’m not a cool wife. I’m not a wife, and it’s really hot today.

I actually do have friends with buzz cuts, totally shaved heads, half shaved heads and with designs shaved into their shaved bits, facial tattoos, more than one with pink hair, more than one with blue, purple also popular. One with rainbow.

If any of them dyed their hair brown a week before I’d asked them to come and celebrate an occasion with me, I wouldn’t give a fuck. It’s bugger all about being cool or being a wife or being a bridesmaid or anything and everything to do with ‘keeping up appearances’ and personal vanity. Which is very ungracious.

Is it because it's really bright and you're worried it will take the light of you in photos? If so could you ask the photo editor to dull the brightness of the hair in the photos?

I never even chose my bridesmaid's dresses, I really don't care about weddings at all. But, I can see why you're upset OP, it matters to you and she knew it would, so you are NBU.

Is she jealous by any chance?

I'm with you totally OP it was a really crap thing for her to do, id be furious. Maybe lots of black and white photos like someone suggested. Not sure what else you can do about it.

Good God. This is why I hate weddings and will never have one. Festivals of narcissism.

OP i would be annoyed too

Red bridesmaid dresses sound awful.

Hope the groom doesn’t decide to dye his pink as well - he could end up being un-invited as well!!

OP, the purpose of having a wedding is to become a married couple with the person you love most in the world and feel you cannot live with out. The actual wedding and it's details (of which no one will remember) Should pale into obscurity in comparison with the momentous step you are taking with a loved one. I know it is your wedding and (hopefully) the only one you'll ever have, but you are the only one who will be bothered by her hair, no one else will care. Don't let it ruin your wedding day, and don't allow it to become the biggest issue of the day, just remember why you're there and have a great time.

She can keep the pink hair if she really wants to
So generous of you OP, it's almost like she has autonomy over her own body!!

Yanbu to be pissed off, yabu to think you get ANY say in it or that you have the right to dictate. And tbh if how she looks and how your photos look matters more than her being part of your day, you should never have asked her

I genuinely don't get what the problem is. Seriously. Is it because you don't like pink hair, or that it will clash with the dresses? It's only someone's hair choice, ignore it and just enjoy your day.

I have a friend with blue hair. I think she looks lively and really cool (she wears unusual clothing and usually handmade beautiful, unique shoes too). I’m really very conservative myself but love my friend as she is.

Occasionally she’ll try another blue. I simply embrace her as is.

If your bridesmaid is someone you wanted in your wedding, you must be good friends (or soon to be family?). Don’t uninvite her, it’s stil her.

Either have a black and white photo with your friend or uninvite all the guests and go down the registry office. Seriously it's not worth the stress. The biggest thing is that you are marrying the right person. No one gives a shit what the bridesmaids look like they will be too busy thinking about food and booze.

festivals of narcissism

LOVE it!! (And I had one )

Oh, OP. It must be exhausting being you. I couldn't find the energy to care.

But I also think there is a larger issue here - you clearly don't like this girl. You've done nothing in this thread but call her selfish and attention seeking. I think you need to accept that you made a terrible choice of bridesmaid.

I also think that if being your bridesmaid was conditional on having a certain hair colour, you should have made that clear. It isn't a normal rule. You don't get a say in your friends' decisions about their appearances just because they're being bridesmaids.

Accept that you made a bad decision. Accept you're being a bit unreasonable and control-freaky about the hair. Take a deep breath and let it go. Enjoy your wedding. Have a happy marriage.

I fucking love wedding season on Mumsnet!

OP doest everyone get tired of making the world revolve around you?