Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

[elcarmen]

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

Reading this I am so fucking glad I’ve never been a bridesmaid.

Or a bride.

Who would have thought a wedding is something usually undertaken by actual adults, this reads like a load of 13 year olds squabbling.

And for those people sneering at it all being about the photos..... I hope you all got married in jeans and trainers and didn’t bother with photos 🤔

Unless she is Dame Zandra Rhodes, she's a pain in arse. Just ignore it all OP and enjoy your wedding (and the rest of your life). She's made her feelings about you quite clear.

Call the wedding off. I hope nothing really important goes wrong between now and Saturday or your hysteria will be off the scale, OP.

I hope you all got married in jeans and trainers and didn’t bother with photos

Weeeeeelllll.....

PigEyedHorseFrightener
And for those people sneering at it all being about the photos..... I hope you all got married in jeans and trainers and didn’t bother with photos

Actually it was a plain black breastfeeding dress and Converse trainers and no, I didn't bother with photos. Does that make it OK now?

Attention seeking, yes.

But still unreasonable for you to ask her to dye it back.

Her life doesn't revolve around your wedding. You either want her there for who she is or you don't.

Get a grip.

Dear me. YABU. If it upsets you, why not just talk to her about it and ask her why she did it?

Maybe she hates the dresses and doesn't want to look like a loo roll holder (this was me as a bridesmaid). Maybe she wants to look nice for the wedding and thought it would be a good idea. Maybe it doesn't matter. My dress wasn't even finished at this point just before my wedding. My sister had a strop at me for getting married IN THE SAME YEAR AS HER. None of it matters, turning up at the church (or wherever) to see all your friends and family beaming at you is priceless, and it's the best party you'll ever have.

Just ask her, even tell her you wish she hadn't, then give her a hug and say it doesnt' matter. Because it REALLY DOESN'T MATTER.

Hope you have a lovely day.

I think some people are missing the point. It isn't that she has pink hair, it's that she dyed it pink a week before the wedding. If that isn't attention seeking and trying to spoil the OP's day, I don't know what is. For that she gets a red card in my book.

I think it says more about you and the circle you run in that a bit of pink hair is going to derail the day or overshadow you. If I even thought twice about the colour of a bridesmaids' hair, it would be to admire the bride for having friends who didn't look like they all rolled off the same generic production line. Ditto a buzzcut, a wildly vibrant suit, or a face tattoo.

Oh and I got married 18 years ago so my photos have my sister's ex husband and brother in law's ex girlfriend in there, I can't photo shop them out can I? I never look at the photos. I look at one photo of me and my Dad (long gone) and a daft one of me and DH taken by a mate on a disposable camera.

It doesn't matter

I hope you all got married in jeans and trainers and didn’t bother with photos

Nope, i had a gorgeous white dress and pink hair, ironically

But how Does it spoil her day? I genuinely don’t understand how someone’s hair colour could spoil your WEDDING day, one of the most important days in your life! Would you be putting a complaint into PALS if your MW had bogie green hair on the day of the birth of your first child?!

It may well be a passive-aggressive thing, Jaxhog.

The point is, it really, really isn't a big deal. Although if the friend did it deliberately, she really knew how to press OP's buttons, judging from what she's said.

My MOH has about 10 inches cut off her hair and dyed it blue the week before my wedding. Also had red dresses. I said nothing but it did seem odd and it annoyed me but I said nothing. My wedding was the first time most of our friends seen it and it was quite a drastic change lots of

I don’t think op is a bridezilla at all, it’s really odd To not just wait till the day after the wedding to do it. If I was attending a wedding and one bm had bright pink hair whilst everyone else was conservative I’d definitely think it looked a bit strange.

If I was at a casually / wacky wedding it obviously wouldn’t be an issue. It also wouldn’t be an issue for a guest to have pink hair at any wedding.

Oh, Chinny reckon

I assume you chose to have her (ie she's not a future SIL that you've HAD to include) and I'm assuming you've chosen the dress (and maybe the shoes and jewellery) that she will wear. I think that's where your control ends, I'm afraid.

The only choice you have left is to sack her as a bridesmaid, or grin and bear it, and focus on having a really fun wedding day (and you WILL, even if she has got pink hair).

OP really doesn't deserve the flaming she's getting. A week before her wedding, which she's spent months planning to make it a special day, her bridesmaid dyes her hair bright pink, knowing it'll clash with the red dress, and she's not allowed to feel even a tiny bit aggrieved? I know I would.

I wouldn't uninvite Pinkzilla though. I'd downgrade her to guest status and stick on her the table nearest the loos with all the ancient aunties.

Digital camera for photographs and Photoshop her ass out! It could be like the un-personing of traitors to the revolution in Stalin's Russia. I dare you, OP! Channel your inner tyrant (sounds like it won't be hard) and you sort that Hot-Pink-Haired Harlot in the ultimate wedding diss. Be super nice on the day, of course.

Dye the bridesmaid dresses brown?

Probably outing but my bridesmaid (in her late 20s) had a fixed brace privately (so at a time of her choosing!) a few weeks before my wedding and hence didn’t smile in any of the photos. Obviously not as bad but I wasn’t best pleased at the time but decided in the grand scheme of things not the end of the world. We are still friends years later whereas if I had said something I am sure we wouldn’t be. Photos can be digitally altered by your photographer to show whatever hair colour you would like

@jaxhog For that she gets a red card in my book

That'll go lovely with the red dress

Ugh, the 'cool wives' are out in force today. Would you all be so blasé if it was a facial tattoo? Or a buzz Cut?

Umm, your friend is there as your friend, not to make your pictures look like they’re out of a wedding catalogue! Shock horror- people look different. Facial tattoos or a buzz cut don’t affect your wedding in the slightest. Your friend not being there would.

@jollyoldsoul honestly couldn't care less.
Funnily enough, if I've asked someone to be my bridesmaid it's because they're my friend and I love them. Not because of how they look.