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Original poster

Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

764 replies

elcarmen · 03/07/2018 14:55

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
QueenOfMyWorld · 03/07/2018 16:08

I can see where ur coming from.She will def look a twat in a red dress.

Celebelly · 03/07/2018 16:09

In the nicest possible way, I think you need to get a grip. It sounds like you're lucky to have a friend who has been so invested and helped you with the planning. If it were my friend, I'd tell her she looked great and be glad that she had done something nice for herself.

This is not a big deal. But I suspect I'm at odds because I couldn't give a shiny shite what my bridesmaids or guests looked like or were wearing. I just care that they're there.

Original poster
elcarmen · 03/07/2018 16:09

I don't want my wedding to be a performance. It's going to be subtle and not overly expensive, so please don't act like you know me personally just because i'm mad at my friend for dying her hair pink. She would've reacted even worse if i had done it to her

OP posts:
mintich · 03/07/2018 16:09

You can either ignore it or tell her she's not a bridesmaid anymore.
I know someone whose bridesmaids had backless dresses and one of them got a back tattoo two weeks before the wedding. She is also an attention seeker!

RainbowsAndSmiles · 03/07/2018 16:09

How can people get wound up about this sort of stuff? Seriously?! It's fecking HAIR!
I got married in a church and had the big white dress and bridesmaids and whatnot.
If one of my bridesmaids had their hair dyed pink, I honestly couldn't have given a shit!
It's a hair colour, I wanted them as bridemaids for THEM, not whether their hair was pink or not. Hmm

Gah81 · 03/07/2018 16:09

Funnily enough, one of my sisters did get a huge tattoo on her décolleté that everyone saw for the first time at my wedding. It's gorgeous, actually - dozens of beautiful, colourful butterflies.

Couldn't have given a rat's a**e about it. I looked - quite frankly - wonderful and all eyes were on me (and people seemed to really like my speech, which was my main concern!)

BevBrook · 03/07/2018 16:09

I think a facial tattoo or a buzz cut are way beyond pink hair. I was remarking only the other day how ubiquitous pink/green/blue hair is nowadays, pink hair is to 2018 as a lovely perm was to 1986. In other words perfectly normal and nothing to get one’s knickers in a twist about.

IncyWincyMouseRat · 03/07/2018 16:10

Put it this way, if you’d said ‘my bridesmaid has dared to put on a stone, can I ask her to lose it or ditch her?’ people would definitely be calling you out on it. Why do you think you get to have any control over any aspect of a grown woman’s appearance?

GorgonLondon · 03/07/2018 16:10

I don't know you personally OP (shame) but if it's not a performance, then it's of absolutely no consequence at all what colour anyone's hair is.

TheFaerieQueene · 03/07/2018 16:10

You really are a peach OP.

alligatorsmile · 03/07/2018 16:11

Distancecall Nope, I'm struggling to see the problem with that as well.

Bloody people, going around maliciously and deliberately looking how they want to.

LawDegreeBarbie · 03/07/2018 16:11

Uninvite her. Regardless of who's in the right, you'll always harbour resentment for her over it and you'll hate your photos. Best get the fall out done now because she won't change her hair back.

Celebelly · 03/07/2018 16:11

I have a friend who has beautiful teal hair. I'm envious of it every time I see her. She looks stunning.

I think I might do something like that as a treat to myself after my baby is born.

I have loads of friends with orange, bright red, pink, etc. hair. More power to them!

SoftBallSophie · 03/07/2018 16:11

It is very unfair if her to dye her hair pink just weeks before your wedding. Quite attention seeking.

Have you seen it, what was your reaction and what has she said?

I wouldn't have her in my wedding photos, but uninviting her will probably end your friendship.

Lilajuvel · 03/07/2018 16:11

The picture of the woman with the pink hair on the red dress looks awful to me, but then I avoided reds and oranges like the plague when I had pink hair.

LawDegreeBarbie · 03/07/2018 16:12

And for the record, YABU. Expect her to be hurt and upset. But your resentment will tear this apart anyway W

DiddimusStench · 03/07/2018 16:13

I do feel a bit sad for OP actually. I feel like she may have been misled where the values of a wedding and marriage are concerned. A wedding is meant to be full of people you love and care for. The wedding party should be made up of the people you value the most. This clearly isn’t what’s happened here. You just don’t pick people you don’t really like to support your marriage.

alligatorsmile · 03/07/2018 16:13

IT'S HER HAIR, NOT YOURS.

HTH

PigEyedHorseFrightener · 03/07/2018 16:14

You know what?

It IS her hair.
She CAN do what she likes with it.

But it IS an odd thing to do just before a wedding.

DistanceCall · 03/07/2018 16:14

Look, if you are so invested in having a tasteful wedding, disinvite her, or tell her that she's no longer a bridesmaid.

I expect that there will be other guests whose outfits you dislike. But at least they won't be standing close to you.

blackdoggotmytongueagain · 03/07/2018 16:14

Have a lovely wedding op - make sure to take a fabulous picture of you and your bridesmaid friend on your own and ignore the hair thing. In twenty years you can both laugh at how she dyed her hair a stupid colour the week before your wedding. In the long run of things, what colour hair you both have at different stages of your lives will be a seriously minor topic. Really. It won’t even register on your top twenty list of things that upset you. It will be ‘omg you dyed your hair pink for my wedding you loon, I was SO pissed!’ And you’ll both laugh. If you really are friends.

snewname · 03/07/2018 16:15

Dn't let it ruin the wedding. Don't make a fuss now that you've asked her to tone it down. Forget about it and have a great time and then if you really think she did it deliberately to upset you, then dump her afterwards- not for the pink hair, but for deliberately doing something she knows would upset you. She wants drama and a reaction. don't give her one.

GorgonLondon · 03/07/2018 16:16

They won't be laughing together in twenty years blackdog , they obviously really dislike each other. Everything OP has said about their 'friendship' speaks of bitterness, jealousy and acrimony.

MiddleMoffat · 03/07/2018 16:17

You can't ask her to dye it back.

I think it is attention seeking. People on here are bonkers to say otherwise but like to follow the tone of the first few posts.

Best option is to ignore. People will notice, people will comment and most likely unfavourably.

Seat her next to somebody she'll hate. Or off the top table so her hair gets full exposure. Grin

Iwouldliketostopfeelingsicknow · 03/07/2018 16:17

You say she has form for this but what exactly has she done previously?

If she's that much of a dick why not bin her off?

If this is the only drama you have as part of your wedding preparations your doing pretty well.

I still don't get your beef though. She's the one who is going to look like the idiot

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