Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner away day drinking whilst I'm sick at home

118 replies

Crewpt · 02/07/2018 15:41

Off work sick today and partner decided to go day drinking, just like he did yesterday. I asked would he come home as I'm feeling lonely and sick and have noone else this part of the country. That was 3 hours ago. I won't be able to say anything to him when he gets back because he turns nasty and defensive. Just feeling absolutely worthless and miserable at the moment

OP posts:
Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 17:42

Still out drinking. I hate being unwell and all alone 😭 think I've only realised that drink comes before me.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 02/07/2018 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 02/07/2018 17:56

What exactly is wrong with you, where are your local friends and what do you expect your dp to do if he is there?

Twiggy71 · 02/07/2018 17:57

If this is second day of all day drinking i do think he is being thoughtless.
Just remember the next time he is ill don't bother coming home. Go out and enjoy yourself and tell him all about it when you get home.
Hope you feel better soon x

HopefullyAnonymous · 02/07/2018 17:57

Was it a planned day out OP? is it part of a wider pattern of behaviour?

femidom12 · 02/07/2018 17:57

Wow you are SUCH a kind hearted soul aren't you NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1?

NormskiNamechange · 02/07/2018 17:58

Woah NotSuch your post comes across as a bit mean. Shock

OP you aren’t worthless. Is this something he does often?

timeisnotaline · 02/07/2018 17:59

Not a smug married, just an asshole now is that right?
Depends a bit op on why he’s out was it planned etc.

TheNoseyProject · 02/07/2018 18:01

What’s wrong with you? Why do you need looking after? Has he only decided to go because you’re ill or was it planned?

On first read I think you’re being a bit ott.

kitkatsky · 02/07/2018 18:01

Are you trying to look after kids while sick? If so YANBU, but if you want him to miss out on fun with his mates to sit at home with you, you might be. What can he do to make you feel better really?

gamerchick · 02/07/2018 18:04

I think I'd rather be out drinking that stay at home with a sick , complaining, miserable self pitying individual

Proper ray of sunshine right there Hmm

Do you have kids OP? If not just go to bed. There's not much he can do if he's home anyway is there? Probably best not to have any if this is a regular him.

If there is kids then time to contemplate your future with the selfish git.

rosesandflowers1 · 02/07/2018 18:04

My DH stays home with me when I'm ill if he's off. He wouldn't go out drinking!

Was this a planned event, or did he just decide he'd prefer to go out?

HollowTalk · 02/07/2018 18:05

Are you literally on your own or are you having to take care of children, OP?

Tobebythesea · 02/07/2018 18:10

If you are sick and looking after children YANBU. If your partner has annual leave then YABU. I wouldn’t give up my precious and rare day of fun to be stuck indoors with a sick person unless they were very unwell. We need more information.

Hoppinggreen · 02/07/2018 18:12

What do you actually need him to do?
If you are so ill you need practical help then yes he should stay but if yiu just want someone to share your misery then there’s no reason for him not to go

user1483387154 · 02/07/2018 18:12

Why do you need someone with You? Unless you are seriously sick and incapable of looking after yourself you are being unfair

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 02/07/2018 18:13

I agree with bythesea , what exactly is it you want him to do OP?

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/07/2018 18:14

We need more information

Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 18:18

It's constantly happening and no it wasn't planned.he will happily drink day and night if he can afford it. When he's sober it's amazing but when he drinks he gets so bitter. I am not a needy person I just thought he'd even spend an hour with me. Now I have to dread him coming home and blaring music.

OP posts:
Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 18:18

No kids thankfully

OP posts:
kitkatsky · 02/07/2018 18:24

So your issue is more that he's drinking than he's not looking after you when you're sick?

rosesandflowers1 · 02/07/2018 18:26

Sounds like maybe he needs help.

If he's drinking a lot that's a red flag, but if he's prioritizing drinking over you I'd be annoyed. YANBU. I'd be slightly pissed if my DH left me on my own (heaven forbid with DC!) to go out with his mates if he had already arranged it, let alone if he just fancied it after seeing I was ill.

Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 18:26

Yeah. That's the overall issue. I suppose I'm being silly about me being sick but it's just alot to live with. He's perfect when sober but when he goes on these binges it's awful. It just seems like he doesn't care about anything other than drinking

OP posts:
IntelligentYetIndecisive · 02/07/2018 18:27

When you're not sick, are you working?

If you're earning your own money, I'd take the opportunity to look at benefits, other jobs in areas where your friends and family are and look at planning to leave.

Your relationship doesn't sound happy at all.

Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 18:29

I do work yes. Maybe it's something to think about but I do love him. Just this aspect of him really gets to me.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread