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Original poster

Partner away day drinking whilst I'm sick at home

118 replies

Crewpt · 02/07/2018 15:41

Off work sick today and partner decided to go day drinking, just like he did yesterday. I asked would he come home as I'm feeling lonely and sick and have noone else this part of the country. That was 3 hours ago. I won't be able to say anything to him when he gets back because he turns nasty and defensive. Just feeling absolutely worthless and miserable at the moment

OP posts:
Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 20:57

He's home now. Doesn't seem too bad but asked was I sick??

OP posts:
Seasawride · 02/07/2018 21:00

He sounds a selfish drunk op.

Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 21:02

I'm taking all advice on board. I think because I'm quite happy to live in this part of the country I need to make a plan. Save enough money for deposit for a flat. Even when he's good I need to keep these times in my mind. If I give it a month I should have the deposit.

OP posts:
Itchytights · 02/07/2018 21:03

Please please get out of this relationship.

It sounds awful.

Flowers
MissConductUS · 02/07/2018 21:04

Good plan Crewpt. You should always have the means to move on if you need to.

The situation is really not going to get better unless he stops drinking, it's going to get worse.

lanbro · 02/07/2018 21:05

I had one of these, I left him, life is so much better!

HollowTalk · 02/07/2018 21:05

If he knows you're saving that money, he'll want it for drink. Make sure it's sent to your mum's account.

NormskiNamechange · 02/07/2018 21:13

You’re not in Durham are you and his name doesn’t begin with an I?? Sorry don’t answer if you don’t want to but this sounds so much like the ex of one of my friends.

You know you need to LTB OP. It will be scary but truly living alone will be better than being miserable. Flowers

Bananalanacake · 02/07/2018 21:13

Is he actively looking for work. I couldn't be with someone so lazy. If he worked he would have less time to drink.

Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 21:17

No normsk but there must be a few of them around! Utterly selfish and no has no desire to work. Well for some I guess

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ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 02/07/2018 21:32

You sound like you're finally starting to get angry - good. He's a selfish cocklodger. If he can't control his drinking whilst he's enjoying an easy life of free bed and board financed by his besotted DP who thinks he's otherwise "perfect" then god knows what he'll be like when the stresses of work/DC/ilness etc hit.

Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 22:11

I think seeing it all wrote down here is making me angry. Why does he never get sad upset it's only me. He lives a breezy easy life and I'm out working away.

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MissConductUS · 02/07/2018 22:34

He's a selfish cocklodger.

I had never heard the term cocklodger until I joined MN. There's no American equivalent, but we desperately need one.

Crewpt - some men are takers, some are givers and some are partners. Never try to make a life with a taker. You'll always wind up on the short end, feeling like a mug.

Seasawride · 02/07/2018 22:49

I suspect he’s a serial cock lodger too op and has don’t this before and will do so again wen you kick him out.

Original poster
Crewpt · 02/07/2018 23:49

I agree. I seem to have lumped myself with a taker. He never goes out of his way to make me feel good. Never compliments me anymore either, I defo haven't left myself go. But it's like my confidence is slowly eroding. Especially when the man who apparently loves you would rather drink himself to oblivion instead of checking up on you when you've been vomiting all day

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 03/07/2018 02:01

I'm sorry to have been the bearer of bad news OP. 😢

AjasLipstick · 03/07/2018 02:32

"Day drinking" is just an alcoholics stupid name for getting pissed whenever you fancy it.

Disgusting behaviour.

HollowTalk · 03/07/2018 10:04

Just thinking about you, OP. You won't be able to save while you're sharing an account with him. I think you should plan your escape around your next pay day - transfer all your money to another account that's either in your mum's or your name alone. Then you can sort out rent etc afterwards.

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 03/07/2018 10:26

Hope you're feeling better today OP.

IntelligentYetIndecisive · 03/07/2018 12:27

Sorry OP.

It's apparent he doesn't love you and prefers alcohol to the welfare of his partner.

flumpybear · 03/07/2018 12:35

Sorry but I can't see what you're getting out of this relationship?!
You work and earn money

He doesn't work, scrounges off the tax payers, scrounges off you, drinks too much, has an attitude problem

Get rid, find a man not a scrounging rat

Bombardier25966 · 03/07/2018 12:38

How is he claiming benefits if you're a couple? Do you mean you're both claiming or is he claiming as a single person? Is he (genuinely) ill?

flopsyrabbit1 · 03/07/2018 14:20

Please dont fall pregnant with him then you really will be stuck with him

flopsyrabbit1 · 03/07/2018 14:22

Im guessing hes not declaring op lives there,then he will get full everything

What a bum he sounds

Original poster
Crewpt · 04/07/2018 02:26

Had a chat with him today sober and he became incredibly defensive saying fine he will just sit in all day when I'm in work. No apologies or anything. So drained and upset. He doesn't seem to realise he hurts people and it's not everyone hurting him

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