To leave the child in bed...

[Singlebutmarried]

....and be late for school

She’s hardly slept this past week and she’s like a little zombie by about 4pm.

brilliotic

I didn't say it's common sense. I am a teacher - I have seen the data to back this up.

I'm not disputing general statistics, but in reality people lead individual lives.

To illustrate- I have worked as a breastfeeding counsellor for 18 years.

Official figures for breastfeeding rates are around 25% at 4 months.
That's an average- but the figure is meaningless.
I have worked as a counsellor is some of the poorest poverty striken communities- Health Visitors there will tell you that breastfeeding rates are around 5% at 4 months.
I have worked in well heeled communities- breasfeeding rates at 4 months are something like 60% at 4 months.

So I even question the value of that 25%.
Because it is accurate in neither scenario.

Yes I gave my kids duvet days, but they were raised in an information hungry home.
At 7 they devoured information about science- wanting to know about atomic theory, phases of matter, the electromagnetic spectrum, just for the sake of it. Things that wouldn't be taught for another 6 or 7 years at school, as science education is so pitiful at primary level.

So yes, my kids had duvet days, but they knew what sublimation was, how bees see and why the sky is blue.

So please leave me out of your statistics.

speakout

I already said I wasn't addressing you. I was talking about my own parenting.

Sorry, 'It does allow us to conclude' should read 'It does not allow us to conclude'

Pengggwn sorry I din't mean to attack you.

speakout

That's okay.

Yep. Same in higher education. Just turning up to lectures etc has a direct correlation with higher attainment - obviously the causation here is complex.

As for school, I have a friend who gave her children multiple "duvet days", in the belief that this was good for their mental health. Her 16 year old became a school refuser with real MH issues who now has no qualifications at all. She protected him so much, he started to be unable to cope with even the tiniest problem. Kids have to know that school is non-negotiable unless they have a real reason to stay off.

I would be waking her up and taking her to school personally

If she’s grumpy and tired then she’s unlikely to take in what she’s learned during the day anyway. I continuously roll my eyes at those mothers out there that think a day off here and there is going to affect their education Don’t make it a habit and like you said she was annoyed with herself for being late - and she’s only 7!

Children are individuals.

Burn out rates are different, so are MH issues, health issues, home life, area they live in and practically everything single little detail is different.

Children are not a statistic or a vast vessel of sameness to be all pushed in the same direction all at the same time. We can only look at our individual children and make decisions based on what is right for them.

If the child is taking one out of every 20 days off school then maybe they are fully functioning and working to a very high level all the other days that more than makes up for the recharge day. If you have a steady plodder / struggler a missed day might mean they fall (even further) behind.

My point is we can't just use sweeping statements for children to be in school or out. It has to be a careful and considered decision based on the child's needs and health at the time.

We have a school system of terms based round 19th century needs for seasonal agricultural workers.

Perhaps somebody could have the guts to say so and deal with it.

Monthly duvet days

K'in 'ell.

To be fair my mum let me bunk off/duvet day if I wanted & I did really well in all exams & done well with jobs etc. Was moreso as a teenager when prob need it for sanity etc

Monthly duvet day?? My step daughters mum does this - both have extremely poor work and education ethic.

Good for you Speakout!!
Penggwn - obviously not something that held back Speakout's children
At the end of the day, you know your own kids - you take your confidence from them and you know when they are flying or failing! Speakout has a balanced view IMO

libbyb Thank you!

I host Italian and Spanish teens they all break up in June as "too 'ot" for even teens to be at school and lately our temperatures mirroring theirs

Most of Europe and north America break up in June, it's only state schools in the UK that seem to think 6 weeks summer holiday is enough.

Her 16 year old became a school refuser with real MH issues who now has no qualifications at all. She protected him so much, he started to be unable to cope with even the tiniest problem. Kids have to know that school is non-negotiable unless they have a real reason to stay off.

And what are these " real reasons?

School may be "non negotiable" but that is not the case in the world of work.
We can choose to take annual leave, we can move jobs, move to shorter hours, take a sabbatical.
There is an imperative to earn of course, but we have many more options than kids stuck at school.

Giving an option of a duvet day gives children agency over their lives.

Sounds good to me! Hope you gave yourself the same luxury :-).

YADNBU in the slightest. I think we need to push back from this modern system we are getting sucked into...

Speakout - you hve my utmost respect for what sounds like a sensible, considered approach and sticking to your belief in what was right for YOUR kids.

dazzledandconfused- thank you!

I wonder what would happen if teachers took a duvet day once a month?

I wonder what would happen if teachers took a duvet day once a month?

Then the class would suffer.
Little Johnny taking a day off hardly has the same impact does it.

And presumably the teacher is in a job of her choosing, at a school of her choice and is free to leave teaching and become a firefighter/test pilot/nun/piano tuner is she wants to.
The teacher already has a lot of agency over her life.

Little Johnny doesn't, and his duvet day will not leave 30 kids without a teacher for that day.