To leave the child in bed...

[Singlebutmarried]

....and be late for school

She’s hardly slept this past week and she’s like a little zombie by about 4pm.

Singlebutmarried
I'm glad you let her sleep in and think it was perfectly reasonable.
In regards to the monthly duvet days, I don't have any problem with that in itself.
But I didn't know universities have unconditional offers? What if she drops out of school and doesn't show up to her exams, therefore failing them all?! They'll still take her? Surely there must be some conditions....

Fabricwitch my kids received unconditional offers in their last year at school, before their last exams.
They sat their last sets of exams knowing that they didn't need them. They worked hard anyway.

Don't know... most of kids had bad night's sleep due to the hot weather. Mine did. But If I make exception today, what about tomorrow? The day after?

I think you need to teach your child the importance of going to bed and sleeping.

It may also be that she needs an earlier bedtime. At 7 years old it's still your responsibility as her parent to make sure she sleeps enough.

I volunteer at a school on a Monday morning, this morning there were loads of late D.C. possibly all had a later sleep, don’t worry about it

So does an unconditional offer mean your exam results don't count towards admission? Or do you just have to get a basic pass as you're being assessed on non academic factors? I'm in Ireland so the admissions system is a bit different.

A day off or late morning here or there isn't a problem imo. If she is that exhausted how well is she going to preform and how much is she actually going to learn anyway. What about work/life balance, that must apply to school too.

I wonder if these duvet day children are now taking a monthly duvet day from their jobs, as they see it as their entitlement?

They literally are entitled to paid time off work. We all are. It's the law.

Taking a day off per month would be 12 days per year. The legal minimum for someone working full time is 28.

DiegoMadonna

But obviously, speakout wasn't suggesting her children went to school on all but twelve days per year. She was suggesting they took these days off on top of holidays.

I wonder if these summer holiday children are now taking six weeks off from their jobs every year, as they see it as their entitlement?

Oh wait, school does not = job.

Pebblespony I am in Scotland , we don't have A levels.
So kids sit "Highers" in the year after their GCSE equivalent. These are the exams that count towards University admission.
They still have a whole year at school after taking these exams- some kids may take additional exams in their last year at school they may resit exams, or take extra highers or take Advanced Highers, so a topping up year if you like if they didn't get the grades first time around.
Of course if they did get the grades in the first round of exams then they would be offered unconditional University places- which is what happened to my kids- they had offers based on the first set of Higher exams, and had multiple unconditional offers during their last year at school- months before their last exams.

I'm actually not a stickler for time out of school within reason. I have one still at primary and ive taken him out for a week holiday. I also would allow a day if he was under the weather or extremely tired - but that would have to be extreme!

You can't just tell your kids that they can have a day off a month and they can choose the day . Would you be happy to explain to the school that you do this? For NO REASON?! And if they told you to stop it? You'd carry on because 'it works for your family?'

MrsSnooty

She goes up to bed between 8 and 8:30

Normally not a problem, however the last two weeks she’s not been getting to sleep til gone 10 due to the heat.

She’s exhausted.

Letting her have an extra half hour or so in bed and letting her wake naturally seemed to be a good option this morning.

I can’t staple her to the bed and glue her eyes shut so not sure how I can force her to sleep.

Agree about presenteeism.

I don't do regular duvet days for my kids but I have let them have a day off if exhausted and I absolutely see the value. As someone who is very bright but has struggled with mental health, I laughed at the idea of one poster that hundreds more maths lessons might be 'better'. For me, 'better' would be to learn how to pace myself, not be perfectionist, not be too cowed by authority figures etc.

Even now, I can't work at the pace of a lot of other people. I work for myself, so when I am overwrought I take a day off without having to justify myself.

I was an over-achiever at school. I ended up with exhaustion and (didn't know it at the time) depression. Some duvet days would have been a great idea!

My mum didn't do that, but she did once do my entire cookery project for me as I was over-stretched. I expect some posters would say that was 'bad' too and I should have 'faced the consequences'. It was what I needed. We're not all cookie cutter children.

PS I ended up at Oxbridge so the lack of doing my own cookery project didn't hold me back :)

How would it be if you discovered, when you got the child into school, that their teacher had decided to take a stress-relieving day off? If I'd "taken my time" about getting to work every time I felt rough, I wouldn't have had much of a career (I've never been a "morning person"). Perhaps the child needs sympathy and the promise of a forthcoming early night as they clearly need more rest?

The child goes to bed at a sensible time.

BUT due to how hot it has been she’s not been sleeping properly. The room is well ventilated and kept as cool a humanly possible, but she’s just not sleeping.

She’s been waking massively early at the weekends as it’s so light.

She’s happy go to bed, she just can’t get to sleep.

How would it be if you discovered, when you got the child into school, that their teacher had decided to take a stress-relieving day off?

But people can choose their own careers according to their stamina. Some work from home. Some work long days in the City because they thrive on it. If a teacher really can't cope with early mornings they might have to change job.

Whereas children can't duck out of the school structure, there's no give, it's one size fits all.

I'm not saying 'let everyone sleep in all the time' but I am saying 'prioritise sleep and wellbeing'. And I would rather the teacher takes stress-relieving day off than is stressed and takes it out on my child!

I say let the child get sleep. Sleep hygiene is so important. Lack of sleep is like catching a cold, it impairs function, doesn't matter if it's because of a virus or because of hot weather, the effect is the same.

coffeeaddict exactly.

I choose to work only 15 hours a week, I don't want the stress of working full time. Kids don't have that option.

Interesting how MN is supposed to be clued up on mental health issues - or at least getting there.
It may come as a surprise to some of you , but some children hate school/can’t deal with it. These children really benefit from having a day away from a place that makes them sad.
Schools can only do so much, and unfortunately some don’t care at all.
It is then up to the parents to keep their children sane and the equilibrium of the house in order.
Parents of children that bound out of bed, delighted to be there at all costs... you are very lucky
I had a child who sufffered in school- l gave him the space to regroup and stay home.
He now works full time in an exceptionally demanding job and has to be reminded to use his holiday!
Success in life is not all dictated by ‘perfect’ school attendance.

singlebutmarried are there any rooms in your house that happen to be cooler than others? I would (and have) made that room into a temporary bedroom whilst the hot weather lasts.
speakout and coffeeaddict and other Pps ( sorry). I completely agree with you regarding monthly duvet days and the like. I too did this with my Dd when she was smaller. Likewise she never took time off from her part time job ( ) she knew the difference between work and school. Oh and she was also Head Girl and is awaiting her grades to see of she can take up her offer at a college at Oxford. She had offers from UCL . I am not remotely boasting. Just illustrating that a ssensible and flexible attitude to my kid's schooling doesn't seem to have had a negative effect on their attainment, as some Pps have proclaimed.
It worked for us, maybe not everyone but that's the whole point, really. Everyone is different but the current school system absolutely doesn't recognise that fact. Anyway, sorry for derail.

As someone who is very bright but has struggled with mental health, I laughed at the idea of one poster that hundreds more maths lessons might be 'better'. For me, 'better' would be to learn how to pace myself, not be perfectionist, not be too cowed by authority figures etc.

All the research suggests that children do better at school when they are present. Academically. Which is what I said.

I don't know why you are bringing 'authority figures' into it.

Pengggwn you said

And yet, still, they would have been much better educated with an additional couple of hundred sessions of Maths, you'd imagine.

I count 'education' as including non-academic, self-care skills. Like learning how to pace yourself and not succumb to presenteeism.

Authority figures: those who impose timetables on you. First the state via education. Then bosses. If you learn that these can never be questioned, it may not be good for you long-term.

I count 'education' as including non-academic, self-care skills. Like learning how to pace yourself and not succumb to presenteeism.

Then perhaps you need to proffer your idiosyncratic definition of "education" before the debate, then we can decide whether we all want to use it rather than talking at cross-purposes because some of us are using the standard definition?

Hoof

Both bedrooms are at the back of the house, the small room at the front is the office but has the sun on it from midday.

I’ve tried getting her to sleep in our room but she says it’s not dark enough.

I might go and put foil on her windows today tho to see if that cools it down a bit b

Pengggwn I really don't understand. Surely PSHE is part of education by anyone's definition including the government? Not so idiosyncratic surely?