i feel like i was the freak show

[btp54]

I am a man and had a procedure done at a near by hospital about 10 days ago, it has left me very angry but didn't say anything at the time as I didn't know if they did wrong.
I was brought into the theatre and got on the bed I was lying there and was told to lift my gown where I was naked from waist down , they made no attempt to cover me up to save my dignity there were 5 members of staff including nurses , consultant and others in the room, 3 of them doing nothing but all having a look and making comments, I know they have seen it all before, so am I right to feel angry, would I have been treated differently if I was a woman.
as the procedure failed I now have to have an operation, but I am already angry that if they can not look after my dignity when I am awake what will happen when I am under a general anaesthetic, should I make a complaint

Women don't get treated better. I feel angry about that comment.

This.

I think everyone has right to be treated with dignity in a medical setting as far as possible (obviously occasionally urgency and the need to save a life takes precedence).

I had a lot of medical procedures and operations in my life, and I've experienced everything from world class wonderful care to appalling humiliating experiences. Fortunately it has mostly been the former, but the latter left me traumatised and phobic of hospitals for a long while afterwards (in fact so traumatised that I delayed seeking help for a life threatening illness).

So I certainly don't dismiss your experience because you are a man, it sounds as if you were very upset by it. You could put in a complaint through PALS - if what you experienced is deemed to be unacceptable then at least you may prevent it happening to anyone else.

A lot of it sounds like poor communication, you should have been told who the people were in the room, you should have had it explained to you what was going to happen so you were prepared. You should have been given a blanket to cover your lower half even if they had to pull the blanket down a bit to perform the procedure.

As for your worry about what will happen when you are under general anaesthetic, I would talk about it when you go in for your pre op or when you are discussing the operatio with the anesthetist or surgeon beforehand.

I think it is mostly a sort of over familiarity with situations that make professionals sometimes forget tht although they have seen it all before, as a patient this may well be your first time in these circumstances, and you are likely to feel apprehensive, and possibly embarrassed. It is their job to reassure you.

As an aside - it is absolutely no different for women. So don't imagine you are getting poor treatment because you are a man - that is not the case.

Try being a woman, you get a flashlight pointed down there for cervical examinations in pregnancy sometimes. Very dignified .
Also had comments from midwives to student midwives about my titled cervix, and about how she was doing an extra stitch to make it look a bit nicer once it healed when my inner labia ripped in child birth.

They're looking and talking to learn and treat you not for the fun of it!

nephew is a physician/surgeon who deals with primarily men.i showed him this post.he does 5-10 procedures a day 2xs a wk.he said that they all blend together until the checkup or followup and he sees the paperwork again.
reminded me of when a male asked if i was lesbian/or if my male artists got excited cuz we tattooed so many breasts.when i told him after the 3rd one they all look alike and my male artists all agreed.

I agree with Bertrand 18.10. You should have been asked if it was ok for x to watch and told some of who the people were. No one should have come to take a peek without asking.

As for being treated differently if you were a woman. Too right you would have been treated differently from a woman. Because were you a woman you wouldn’t have been treated at al as you wouldn’t have been referred in the first place. Our reproductive organs are on the inside. We are routinely not given referrals.

In my case it was so bad that I’ve just had a hysterectomy as my uterus was poisoning me, and was swollen to the size of a 6 month pregnancy in a painful condition called adenomyosis. I had endometriosis and a blood filled cyst. I had the first 2 conditions for over 10 years. Yet when I spoke to my gp about heavy and painful periods I was fobbed off with painkillers and pills to reduce flow and told that’s what happens in perimenopause. I have been ill for over 10 years, devastatingly ill for 7 and yet no one thought to refer me to gynaecology. It was only once the pain was so intense that I referred privately. I have not been able to work, enjoy life, exercise and have been disabled and mainly bedridden for a decade.

So please don’t talk to women about how differently we would be treated unless you mean how much worse we would be treated.

this type of thing happens to women all the time, so hard as it sounds you will just have to suck it up . I know that sounds unsympathetic but women have been enduring worse and more intimate examinations for years.

No -it’s not a race to the bottom

so am I right to feel angry, would I have been treated differently if I was a woman.

You may be right to be angry, but don't go thinking that somehow the treatment of women is better. The medical profession has a long, long history of disrespect to women and their bodies. Just bear in mind that to Addenbrookes med students, "tubing" is an acronym for "totally unnecessary breast examination" to get an idea of this.

HollowTalk;- OP has been posting in musmnet since 2011. Report if you don’t think he’s genuine

It sounds like you weren't properly briefed on who everyone was. With the exception of my last labour, I've always been asked if I mind students being present and known what each person was there for.

With my last labour, it became such a panicked affair on the part of the hospital (twins, they didn't realise I was in established labour and was in day assessment not delivery), that everyone and their uncle descended on the room. I know at one point a consultant had her hand up my vagina trying to manually turn stuck dt2. Then it went into crash section so I was oblivious.

Are you sure the comment about 'not seen one of those before' was a gossipy type comment and not from a student or someone more recently qualified who really just had not seen your condition before?

Aridane no-one said it was. My statement was, very sadly, fact. ALL patients should be treated with respect but the OP asked if he would be treated differently if he was a woman - my response was "yes - but not in a good way"

The OP can complain if he wishes and I agree with a PP this is a VERY strange topic to post on this forum

I think you should raise what happened to you as it made you feel uncomfortable. YANBU

However turning this into a male Vs female debate is a bit silly, there's a lot of studies showing that women have a hard time being taken seriously when they seek medical attention- I read that women with polycystic ovaries and endometriosis take an average of 8-10 years to receive diagnosis and spend a lot of time getting fobbed off. Add to that the fact a lot of female gynecological procedures (even before you get into the dignity killing car crash of pregnancy and birth) are a lot more invasive and intimate than that which you describe. For that you are being a bit of a wally.

On HERE not her!

I had six students staring at me doing nothing when I had a forceps delivery. Wayyyy more intimate.

my comment about if women were treated better, was meant in a situation where you could be and should be covered up for your dignity, I am quite shocked by the treatment of some, but I am glad some of you saw past that comment to see where I am coming from.

I am in my 60's now and this is only my third procedure, it is not about people seeing my penis it's about the way I was treated that has left me upset and angry

Don't quite understand the 'OP hasn;t been back' ? -he's posted 4 times and answered questions.

But if you don't think a poster is genuine, you report the thread, you don't speculate on the thread. That rule is constantly repeated by MNHQ - why don't people understand it ?

Got to be honest though in labour I have always been asked is it ok for "X person" to come in / have a look. I was also covered with a sheet for a lot of the time untill obviously the vital parts were my fadge needed to be out but again I was always asked before stuff was done . Luckily I'm not shy and don't give a shit but I have never felt like I was just exposed for all to see either in labours or during other procedures Iv had done

It's difficult to speak up, but I think we have to. Your post immediately reminded me of the night I was rushed through A+E with breathing difficulties. Put in one of those curtained bays. They sat me up, stripped me to the waist, stuck the monitoring things on me to hook me up to a machine and left me. The curtains weren't shut properly and members of the public could walk by. I clutched a pillow over myself until a nurse came close enough to shout at, when I demanded a blanket. Humiliating.

Iv had procedures done In Theatre that were not surgery

Exactly, @seventhgonickname. It's all bollocks.

If this is a teaching hospital, you definitely will have people who just watch and say nothing, it is how medics and nurses learn. If you have something unusual, then it is even more important that they see it so they can recognise it in future.

I can think of a patient with Ludwig's Angina, whose life was saved because the oral surgeon on the ward had been present at a tracheotomy two weeks before and was able to crack on with it.

You feel how you feel. Heavily pregnant and after being induced they gave me an internal. Five students lined up to watch. Yes five. My exact words were "what are you doing, have you not got something better to do, you bunch of fucking perverts"

Queue almighty panic in the room, the bright red consultant apologising profusely, explaining they were students who he had invited to watch the procedure, and he should have asked my permission and explained. Damn right he should have. I denied permission. And five students left looking absolutely and utterly mortified. I'm sure after qualification not one of them ever forgot to ask permission.

If you don't like it. Speak up. They treat people like simply bodies sometimes, and if you take issue then tell them.

I had six students staring at me doing nothing when I had a forceps delivery. Wayyyy more intimate.

Then you should have been told why they were there and asked if you minded.

Let's not turn this into a 'medical humiliation' Top Trumps. No one should feel exposed, humiliated or like a steak on slab when they are undergoing a medical procedure. They should always have everything explained, asked for their permission for onlookers, reassured and made to feel as comfortable as possible. Random people wandering over for a gander without asking if you mind is not treating people with dignity.

The 'they;ve seen it all before, they've done 20 ops that day it all blends into one' argument actually reinforces the point that medics sometimes see people as 'just another 'colonoscopy' or whatever rather than seeing each person as a human being who may be scared, worried, embarrassed and who is in, for them, a very unfamiliar setting.
It may be your workplace, you may look at people genitals everyday, but most people are not overly familiar with operating rooms, and most people do not have people looking at their genitals everyday. It may be nothing to you, but it is often a scary first for them.

Saying ' I had ten doctors four nurses, a dog and his uncle up my foof' doesn't make any kind of point at all, are we supposed to cheer because you had an even lousier experience?

No one, man or woman, should come out of a medical procedure feeling as if they have been humiliated and badly treated, It is avoidable and unacceptable. It is almost always possible to make people feel respected and listened to.

You were having your testicle worked on at that particular moment in time. I don’t see how they could have covered you up tbh. Yes before and after. Could you explain a little more?

In response to your last comment, my post still stands. You are lucky to have been treated at all.