Friends husband & Wattsapp

[user7469322]

My friends husband wattsapps me photos and videos quite regularly. We have daft (and very brief) conversations about the stuff he sends. They’re just humorous, they make me laugh and absorb some of the boredom from my day. I don’t want my friend to get the wrong idea (although I don’t think she would but might wonder why she wasn’t aware?), should I mention it to her? My own husband regularly has text conversations with another woman of which he doesn’t know I know (this isn’t the point of this post though), so I feel I should be honest with my friend (of which I am all the time anyway as she has trust issues) but I really don’t want her to think I’ve been coming on to him as he’s not my sort, I’m not his sort and it’s 101% platonic friendship on my side. I know how I feel knowing my husband messages this other girl and although not the same sort of messages, I’d hate my friend to feel the same. How to approach?

Would you go for a drink or coffee with him, just the two of you? Ie, are you friends independently from his wife?

If not, I’d knock the messaging on the head. Creates another dimension within your ‘trio’ that leaves someone out - his wife.

@bbcessex

Yes I am friends with him independently of his wife. A couple of weeks ago he came to my house to help me with something. I didn’t ask him to come, he chose to. His wife knew and she wasn’t bothered.

I think the OP is just being careful. Some women aren't comfortable with their husbands messaging other women, even with common friends.

But why assume she doesn't already know about it? She knows you're friends, she knows you speak to each other, clearly as he came round to your house, so why would you assume that he's keeping these particular messages a secret from her?

so why would you assume that he's keeping these particular messages a secret from her?

Again, she's being careful. The wife might know, the wife might not know, she's covering all bases

After reading many many thread here on Mumsnet, I can understand where she is coming from.

@DoJo

I don’t think saying the messages are ‘secret’ is the right word. It just might be that he’s not mentioned it to her because he knows she won’t be worried about him sending them, however, as Serendipite says, ism just trying to be careful as I don’t want her to think I’m being dishonest if she doesn’t know. There’s reakky not much more to it than that.

But if she doesn't know, it wouldn't be because you're being dishonest, it would be down to him.

I really think the OP is being careful and wants to cover all bases. What the guy does or doesn't do isn't her responsibility.

@DoJo

I’d not thought of it like that. I’m trying too hard to make sure she knows she can trust me.