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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Goodbye Mumsnet and Thank You

128 replies

LiteraryDevil1 · 29/06/2018 21:39

I just wanted to say thank you to all the posters who have helped me enormously over the past few months. I have written quite a few posts (under various names and with the odd non-pertinent detail changed to protect my identity) and have found the advice invaluable.

Mumsnet has helped me to recognise and end an abusive relationship where I thought I was being unreasonable and a bit precious. I was helped to realise he was sexually, emotionally and financially abusing me in fairly subtle ways that I had excused and normalised as he was so great in other ways. By joining the NC thread I was able to learn a great deal from others in a similar position and give support to them too.

I've also recognised just how abusive my marriage was and remembered various things I'd buried from that time and been able to deal with them with help from posters.

I've been able to seek advice regarding my children and how being in a step family with their dad affects them.

I've had legal advice regarding my divorce.

I've had family advice, food advice, health advice and a damn good laugh at the sex in the hedge thread

However today I have posted about something that has happened with my children and been accused of lying about being abused by my stbexh. The things said were pretty vile, not just for me, but for anyone who has experienced abuse. Thankfully the comments have been deleted. That was not the first time I'd been accused of lying or being a troll. Sometimes people have to change names and a couple of potentially identifying details in order to protect themselves. We are not trolls. I appreciate there are trolls out there but I am not one of them.

I don't have anyone to talk to in real life about the issues I've posted about on here so I am very grateful to all those who took the time to comment and offer advice, experience and a hand hold. Thank you to each and every one of you. You have helped me so much to deal with so much that has been going on in my life recently, or has gone on in the past, much better than any therapy.

The accusations of lying tonight by two posters have shown me a very nasty side to mumsnet and have left me feeling very upset so I have decided to leave mumsnet, but just wanted to say thank you before I de-registered. Some of you are so bloody lovely you made me cry! For all the right reasons

OP posts:

MamaLupine · 29/06/2018 21:42

I've noticed a change in here recently, there's a lot of arseholes who love to kick someone when they're down or pick apart their posts for no good reason. They're bullies. I don't recognise your name so I'll have been no help to you at all but I wish you all the best 💐

clumsyduck · 29/06/2018 21:42

Don't wanna be a drama llama but honestly don't leave because of a few dickheads op

FatBarry · 29/06/2018 21:45

Don't leave,, the good must out weigh the bad x

Tink1990 · 29/06/2018 21:47

I agree, why leave? Theres always mean people everywhere but as pp said, the kind almost always outweigh the bad

Singlenotsingle · 29/06/2018 21:47

Don't be too hasty Literarydevil. You get good and bad everywhere, and I think the good on MN greatly outweighs the bad! You do have to keep your head below the parapet, though, unless you want it shot off! But what happens next time you need a chat?

WanderingTrolley1 · 29/06/2018 21:50

Don’t let them drive you away!

yorkshireyummymummy · 29/06/2018 21:51

I got ripped apart when I posted for help,with my autistic husband. Some women on here are just vile.
But the majority are lovely, and it’s not worth leaving just because of a few nasty individuals.
Don’t think of the minority, think of the majority.
There may be somebody who is going to post a thread in a few weeks time where you will give them the best advice they have ever had.
You can keep your account open and lurk. But don’t leave.
Together we are stronger.
And the only way to beat bullies and trolls is to stand up to them and give them a big huge raspberry and the middle finger.
Whatever you do.......good luck.

Atlastatlastatlast · 29/06/2018 21:51

There are some seriously nasty posters on here. They are driving and bullying away so many lovely posters. Ignore them, they are the ones who should not be here, not you.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 29/06/2018 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MissusGeneHunt · 29/06/2018 21:54

I don't think I recognize your name OP, but please don't go. As a PP said, we need to stick together to outweigh the nastiness. Never give in, never give up.

BertrandRussell · 29/06/2018 21:56

So two unpleasant posters who were deleted completely negates all the good stuff you list?

ginandnappies · 29/06/2018 21:56

There's a horrible change happening on here lately, lots of nasty people. I don't blame you OP but just know there are far more nice people on here than bad. Xx

Singlebutmarried · 29/06/2018 21:57

I got a pm saying ami was a troll.
Im assuming it’s cos I commented on the shitting man thread.

Don’t leave.

Alanamackree · 29/06/2018 21:59

I have a personal rule not to check back on a thread too quickly because it gives other posters a chance to report and mnhq a chance to delete vile comments,
I know that at those times when you most need support, you can also be at your most vulnerable.
Some boards are more suited to certain types of posts- the support in relationships is second to none, aibu is cut throat.
Please don’t leave OP. MN is a fantastic source of support, advice and help. There are evil scumbags out there doing their best to undermine and destroy the very best aspects of MN. Don’t let them win.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 29/06/2018 21:59

Please don’t leave, just avoid the shitty areas.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 29/06/2018 22:02

I'm so sorry. You've had to put with arse holes. Theyre everywhere sadly.
However Please reconsider about leaving. There are more genuine and good hearted posters who will do all they can to help and support you than cunts. Don't allow thoder idiots to chase you away.

Polymamas · 29/06/2018 22:02

I change my user name roughly every 2 weeks. And I change slight details in my life to protect my identity. I've been here almost 14 years.

Itsba shame that 'troll ' is so readily shouted at the smallest discrepancies. Aometimes they are necessary to stay anonymous or to stop people recognising a poster.

PumpkinReader · 29/06/2018 22:04

Quite alot of the posts on MN are vile tbh. Only a small minority are genuinely funny, insightful, or supportive.

Yes there are lots of people who get a kick out of giving people a kicking. A lot.

Also (it seems to me) a lot of people who seem to know nothing about the subject at hand, but see them selves as experts which I find bizarre. Attacks on parents seem to me particularly bad, but sometimes its random, and there's a herd mentality that makes me shudder.

Its very weird.

Over and out.

sirlee66 · 29/06/2018 22:06

Another one saying don't leave!

A few weeks back I posted because I was at rock bottom and didn't want to be here anymore. I got so much help and advice from posters and was diagnosed with PND the next day. Things are now getting better.

I wouldn't be here without MN. Before giving birth I never thought I'd need help like that, especially from strangers on the internet.

When you least expect it and you find yourself at the lowest of lows, MN can help you find your feet again.

Don't let the bastards get you down.

Theimpossiblegirl · 29/06/2018 22:07

Honestly, Mumsnet is a troll magnet at the moment and there are lots of mean and nasty posters just wanting to kick people while they are down.

BUT

Most of us are still really nice, and we will still be here when they get bored/banned. So please stick around. Or come back in a month or two.

flippyfloppyflower · 29/06/2018 22:07

Whatshallidonowpeople how nice that you are being so supportive

OP please do not leave. I once posted and got a right kicking on here and boy did that hurt. But I have also received some lovely messages of support. Lick your wounds, lurk for a while and come back when feeling stronger. There are bullying idiots everywhere - just don't let them win

WerkSupp · 29/06/2018 22:07

There are a lot of people here who can see only one world view: theirs. If your life or experience varies in any fashion, they're too thick to get it. Don't let it get you down OP!

enoughisenough12 · 29/06/2018 22:07

That's awful OP.
I hope that the positive responses were helpful and that the vitriol rom two posters fades into the distance (we do tend to remember the hurt rather than the good things.

Maybe leave if that helps and register later with a new user name if you feel up to it?

myrtleWilson · 29/06/2018 22:08

You can time whatshallido arrival on a thread to bitch plop or more with unerring accuracy I find...

Op - I hope you stay and if you don't... very best wishes for your future

Oldagepensioner · 29/06/2018 22:09

There are so many trolls on here it’s hard to know who is genuine. That’s a terrible shame as people who need support are sometimes being wrongly labelled. It’s absolutely the fault of the trolls, who are spineless, nasty creatures.

So sorry OP 💐

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