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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH says I'm over reacting AIBU

139 replies

CheekyBlueDolphin · 29/06/2018 17:34

Hi I really would appreciate your opinions on this.

DH and I have one 2 yo DD. She was playing on our bedroom floor just in front of the cupboard and he was getting ready to go to work. She was crawling in front of the cupboard so he gently pushed her away with his foot until he got her out of the way. I personally found that awful and asked him to not do it again. He said it was light and it was just a funny and playful thing to do. I've told him to not do it again otherwise she'll find normal when a man pushes her away with his foot. I said that he could have picked her up as she's so little and if he cannot do that to an adult he should not do it to a child. He said he is her father and has the right to play in whatever way he wants even if I find inappropriate. I asked him to respect her and my point of view and he said he won't respect something so ridiculous.

I just totally disapprove this kind of "fun" towards girls specially from their own fathers. Now husband and I had a massive argument and he says I'm mental and totally overreacting.

Any thoughts really appreciated. Am I overreacting and being unreasonable? Xx

OP posts:
HyacinthBuffet · 29/06/2018 17:42

I said that he could have picked her up as she's so little and if he cannot do that to an adult he should not do it to a child.

But based on this logic he wouldn’t pick up an adult to move them out of the way either Confused

Busybusybust · 29/06/2018 17:42

YABVU. (There’s some very strange people on MN).

Deshasafraisy · 29/06/2018 17:42

Yabu. And ridiculous

LeighaJ · 29/06/2018 17:43

YABVU

Have you had men and/or your Dad treat you badly and perhaps your OTT reaction is due to that?

HeadSpin5 · 29/06/2018 17:43

Agree with nearly everyone else, YABU and overreacted

Stroller15 · 29/06/2018 17:43

I think you're over-reacting too OP, sorry. I nudge my ds with my feet as a game too.

ThePants999 · 29/06/2018 17:43

Bear in mind OP your dd will not remember the incident in later life.

Where "later life" meant five minutes later.

WorraLiberty · 29/06/2018 17:44

I've told him to not do it again otherwise she'll find normal when a man pushes her away with his foot.

Sorry OP I know that wasn't meant to be funny but it did make me laugh Blush

Total over reaction and massive conclusion to jump to.

cmlover · 29/06/2018 17:45

do men tend to push woman away with their feet?

your being reduculas.

DrunkUnicorn · 29/06/2018 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmIthatbloodycold · 29/06/2018 17:46

You e asked him to respect her and your point of view

So, what's she saying to it all?

YABVU

Orchidflower1 · 29/06/2018 17:46

She’s 2 why would your dd think that? Sorry but yabu - you over reacted. Is there more to this?

PorkFlute · 29/06/2018 17:46

It would depend on how it was done for me. In a jokey way it would be fine but it’s kind of rude and disrespectful otherwise. You wouldn’t manhandle an adult who was in your way.

ReginaPhalange20 · 29/06/2018 17:47

This is actually quite sad.
You are being ridiculous.

Coolaschmoola · 29/06/2018 17:47

Really?!

Massive overreaction. Your logic is screwed - so she won't allow men to gently guide her, but it will be absolutely acceptable for them to pick her up and move her out of the way?

Hahahahahaha! Rightio then!

WilyMinx · 29/06/2018 17:49

I just totally disapprove this kind of "fun" towards girls specially from their own fathers.
Would you have been OK about it if your toddler was a boy? Sorry, another one who thinks YWBU.

WorraLiberty · 29/06/2018 17:55

When was the last time anyone had an adult playing on their bedroom floor and crawling around in front of their cupboard?

Original poster
CheekyBlueDolphin · 29/06/2018 18:06

Thanks for all your honest opinions. Massive thanks for those posters who said I totally over reacted without being rude Xx

OP posts:
Tara12 · 29/06/2018 18:07

He did it gently with no anger, kind of sounds ok. If he was shoving her, then NO.
Personally, I have never been pushed away by a man's foot. That is, if he wanted to keep it for walking on...
I don't know what exactly your husband said to you, but you were complaining of him being abusive to your child, which he patently was not. He probably was highly annoyed and even afraid.
Hope you can sort things out.

StillMedusa · 29/06/2018 18:10

You are very unreasonable!
Is he not going to be allowed to 'rough play' with her when she's older... chase her, swing her round, pretend to be a big bad wolf, when she's a toddler and older, in case she grows up thinking that's what men do?!?!

He didn't hurt her, she is a baby exploring and she is fine. I doubt she'll be crawling round the floor very often when she is a grown up...

I think you need to apologise to your dh quite honestly.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 29/06/2018 18:11

Jaysus, yes you are being incredibly unreasonable. I've slid DD & DS out of the way with my foot many times, stop being ridiculous.

PotteringAlong · 29/06/2018 18:11

I bodge my DH with my foot all the time! Usually in bed with a “shove up”. I’ve definitely been known to hoick a child out of the way, especially if I’ve got my hands full.

Nothisispatrick · 29/06/2018 18:14

otherwise she'll find normal when a man pushes her away with his foot

Is this something that generally happens? Never happened to me.

user1483387154 · 29/06/2018 18:14

You are overreacting. If he had kicked her out of the way that would have been different

honeyrider · 29/06/2018 18:14

Major overreaction on your part OP, I pity your DH and also your DD growing up if this is how you overreact and look for offence where there isn't any.