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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photo of nude baby

279 replies

Sailinghappy · 29/06/2018 16:28

Genuinely interested to see if I'm being unreasonable here... what do you think?

So today my husband was playing with our baby daughter in the paddling pool having the loveliest time. She just splashes around in there nude in this heat and loves it! He took a funny photo of her playing with her duckie in the water and shared it on our family whatsapp group - with both aunties and uncles. I do think the photo is cute and I'm glad they had a lovely time playing but I'm fuming because my baby is nude in this photo and she has her legs wide open!! He way she's sitting isn't very dignified and I don't want everyone having photos of that!!!

Husband thinks it's just a funny photo shared with family - AIBU??

OP posts:
ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 17:43

how does the OP's husband know that someone on the whatsapp group isn't a bit dodgy?

I don't know about you, but I do know that on our family whatsapp group, my own mum, dad, sisters, grand-mother, brother are not ^a bit dodgy". If I thought for a minute they were, they wouldn't be on my contact list to start with.

xoguineas · 29/06/2018 17:44

As it's just been sent to family personally I wouldn't mind too much. However if you're not happy with it I would make that clear to your DH. Everyone has different preferences. I have taken one video of DD playing in the bath to show my parents. My SIL posted her children's naked bath pictures all over facebook for everyone to see which is not for me. YANBU to have your own preference about what pictures of your child are shared with others

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:46

@celebelly

I'll happily send you nude baby photos of me if you really want,

There is no way in hell you would do this.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 17:47

Celebelly I meant publicly on the thread. To back up the claim that you wouldn’t mind or have any qualms with sharing them for anyone and everyone to see.

I certainly wouldn’t of myself, or any of my family... or frankly anyone baby or not, but if it’s so fine then why not.

We can even time how long it would take mnhq to delete them and ban you as a user.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 29/06/2018 17:48

YANBU that kid has got to grow up, and pics are around for eternity.

You teach kids about their 'private parts' so why put pictures up.

PuddlesOfBud · 29/06/2018 17:48

Leighaj you shouldn't be noticing a baby's vagina. Are you ok?

Hmm

If you are going to call a poster a potential pedophile at least have the balls to be less PA about it.

Am I a pervert if I can see the baby's elbow too? Do non pedophiles have some natural emoji of the eyes that block baby genitals?

The MIL said something that was obviously not true. The pp noticed. If the MIL said "dd isn't wearing a hat in any of the pictures" but 75% of them she was clearly wearing a hat it would be noticeable, yes?

Celebelly · 29/06/2018 17:49

I honestly wouldn't care. I was a baby. It bears no resemblance to how I look now and it's not sexualised in the slightest. I'm sure dozens of people have seen my bits when I was a baby, either in person or in the flesh. I used to spend whole days at my grandparents house running around naked in the garden with cousins. I couldn't care less who sees what I looked like nude 31 years ago. Spoiler: I look like every other naked baby.

PuddlesOfBud · 29/06/2018 17:49

I don't know about you, but I do know that on our family whatsapp group, my own mum, dad, sisters, grand-mother, brother are not a bit dodgy". If I thought for a minute they were, they wouldn't be on my contact list to start w^

Actually you have no way of knowing that. This is why most children are abused by a family member.

ReginaPhalange20 · 29/06/2018 17:50

YABU

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 17:50

You are a bunch of strangers, who could be anyone, so I wouldn't really want to share private photos on a public forum. That would also give out my real name for anyone recognising them!

Id have no problem showing pics of me baby to friends, I am pretty sure there was quite a few shown at my wedding, so at least 150 + venue staff have seen my butt aged 2. Big deal.

My butt aged 20 whilst I was at Uni would not have been the same thing.

placemats · 29/06/2018 17:51

Child and/or baby pornography doesn't exist.

What does exist is adults who use babies and children for the use of pornographic images for adult sexual gratification.

Your husband isn't one of these people OP. Flowers

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:51

@Nottakenusername

Yeah, I would be interested to see if that poster posts naked pics of her as a baby on here with her genitals on full show.

Bet she doesn't.

I also bet pics of her (when she was a baby/toddler) with her legs wide open and her vulva on full show don't exist.

Xenia · 29/06/2018 17:51

i am scanning 1980s photos at the moment of my first babies (and we have always been a family happy with nudity etc - I even have one of my father naked swimming (from behind) in a river in the wilds in the 1980s. The difference I suppose is these photographs are not stored on the cloud. They are not posted anywhere or sent anywhere so someone would have to break into the house to get into the photograph album or hack into the computer to get them.

The main issue though is consent and the child's privacy rights which is one reason I don't use facebook or put any photos of any kind on social media.

ADastardlyThing · 29/06/2018 17:52

Most of my work colleagues have seen a pic of me naked when we had a guess the baby competition. And I saw most of them naked as babies.

Guess what happened?

We had a laugh, I won a bottle of wine, then we forgot about it.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 17:52

Actually you have no way of knowing that. This is why most children are abused by a family member.

I do know that neither I or any of my siblings have never been abused by any of the adults listed, parents or grand-parents, so I am pretty confident i can leave my kids with any of them safely.

When I see how many grand-parents are doing free childcare whilst thee parents are at work, pretty sure it's the same for most people.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 17:53

I honestly wouldn't care. I was a baby. It bears no resemblance to how I look now and it's not sexualised in the slightest. I'm sure dozens of people have seen my bits when I was a baby, either in person or in the flesh. I used to spend whole days at my grandparents house running around naked in the garden with cousins. I couldn't care less who sees what I looked like nude 31 years ago. Spoiler: I look like every other naked baby.

And yet no example.

Please don’t mistake me, I’m not goading you into sharing any to prove a point, it would be highly inappropriate. However I think you know that yourself.

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:53

@ikeepaforkinmypurse

Thanks for confirming what we suspected.

That you KNOW it's wrong to share pics like this.

Wasn't that hard to admit it was it?

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 17:53

littlemissdynamite
I am reporting you, your posts are turning seriously weird.

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:54

@Nottakenusername

Please don’t mistake me, I’m not goading you into sharing any to prove a point, it would be highly inappropriate. However I think you know that yourself.

Exactly this. No way will anyone share pics of themselves as a child with their genitals on full view.

Deep down they know it's wrong. And them refusing to show them proves that

Teggun · 29/06/2018 17:55

I don't think yabu OP.
I have plenty of pictures of my dd naked. None with her legs open.
I'm not sexualising anything. Just not necessary and not appropriate especially to share.

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:55

Reporting me for what FFS?!

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 17:55

“I am reporting you, your posts are turning seriously weird.“

I knew you would go there. You seem the type.
That’s why I’ve been careful to outline my position very clearly in every single post so as they cannot be misconstrued.

Celebelly · 29/06/2018 17:55

I think it would be inappropriate on this particular thread given the absurd comments about pornography and the general extreme views here. I don't think it would be necessarily inappropriate on an unrelated thread about funny pics of you as a baby or for sending to a group of friends or posting on Facebook.

Sadly it's a moot point as those photos are all in albums at my mum's house! But this thread has reminded me to look them out next time!

Tillytrotter123 · 29/06/2018 17:56

Yanbu at all. Yes she's a baby but she won't always be and I wouldn't like to think all my family had photos of me with my legs open. I don't take pictures of my baby without her nappy on but that's not to say I wouldn't, I just wouldn't show them to everyone and not with her keg she open. You're her mum and it's your instinct to protect her, nothing wrong with that.

PuddlesOfBud · 29/06/2018 17:56

I do know that neither I or any of my siblings have never been abused by any of the adults listed, parents or grand-parents, so I am pretty confident i can leave my kids with any of them safely. When I see how many grand-parents are doing free childcare whilst thee parents are at work, pretty sure it's the same for most people.

You know that you have not been abused by any of them.