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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photo of nude baby

279 replies

Sailinghappy · 29/06/2018 16:28

Genuinely interested to see if I'm being unreasonable here... what do you think?

So today my husband was playing with our baby daughter in the paddling pool having the loveliest time. She just splashes around in there nude in this heat and loves it! He took a funny photo of her playing with her duckie in the water and shared it on our family whatsapp group - with both aunties and uncles. I do think the photo is cute and I'm glad they had a lovely time playing but I'm fuming because my baby is nude in this photo and she has her legs wide open!! He way she's sitting isn't very dignified and I don't want everyone having photos of that!!!

Husband thinks it's just a funny photo shared with family - AIBU??

OP posts:
EdWinchester · 29/06/2018 17:03

Unless you come from a family of paedophiles, I can’t see a problem

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 17:05

If that's a problem for you, you shouldn't let her being nude in the first place. You have to be consistent.

Fuck off! She has two parents. Op doesn’t have to be there policing every second of her child’s life.

KappaKappa · 29/06/2018 17:05

I do not think it is possible to take a photograph of a baby's vagina - as opposed to the external genital area.

You’ve missed the point with your pedantry.

Nicknacky · 29/06/2018 17:07

honey I think you need to try explain because you are still wrong. You don't even know the correct terminology.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 17:08

I agree with slithytove. The photos shared are very nice... with the nappy on.

I would have no wish to see any nieces or nephews sans nappy in a photo like that.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 17:10

NotTakenUsername
You should try communicating without swearing at people, it makes you sound a bit dim.

You also sound like you are projecting your own issues frankly, the OP is asking a reasonable question, no need to throw a tantrum on her behalf.

Yes, 2 parents happy to play with their kids, who said that anyone should be in charge or in control of the other? Hmm

kaytee87 · 29/06/2018 17:12

Jesus Christ!
Child pornography?! Children shouldn't be allowed to play in the nude?!
Is the heat addling peoples brains?
Op whenever we want to send a picture of our son and he happens to be nude, we put an emoji sticker over his privates. Not because I'm bothered about his granny seeing him naked, just in case anyone else gains access to it through the cloud/tinternet (not very technical Grin)

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 17:15

good lord, I am frightened by the world we live in. You might not like babies, fair enough, you might have no interest in seeing pics of them, fair enough again.
Being offended or talking about pornography or abuse because of an innocent photo is sickening. If that's the first thing that pops into your head, you do have a serious problem.

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:20

YANBU. No fucking WAY would I want my daughter - OR son's bits posting on the internet.

Jesus. Can't believe some people are OK with this. Take the things down FFS. I don't CARE if she is 'just a few months old.' Too many weirdos on the internet. If I saw that on someone's facebook, I'd report it.

kaytee87 · 29/06/2018 17:22

@littlemissdynamite the way I read it, the picture was sent to family members, not posted on the internet?

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:22

And if her legs are wide open too. Just no.

The heat must be getting to peoples brains if they think posting a fully naked pic of their baby ON THE INTERNET is ok!

Christ on a bike.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 29/06/2018 17:22

It's a baby in a paddling pool.

How on Earth do people come to think of child pornography? What's wrong with you?

Leggylavender · 29/06/2018 17:23

I am shocked about how many posters here think it's absolutely fine! How many of your had a photo of your DD with legs spread open on a whasapp group? OP YANBU at all! I would send a message to the group asking my relatives to kindly delete that photo from their phones.

Nicknacky · 29/06/2018 17:23

little It’s a family WhatsApp group, it’s onky going to appear on Facebook or the wider internet if a family member posts it. And most people are sensible enough not to do that.

ADastardlyThing · 29/06/2018 17:24

littlemiss It was on a private WhatsApp group between family.

Totally agree with your heat comment tho :)

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:24

Oh well, even so, it's been sent to a whatsapp group, it's still 'out there.'

No. Just no

SoyDora · 29/06/2018 17:24

It wasn’t posted on the internet. It was shared with family, on a private family WhatsApp group.

Nopointinnamechanging2018 · 29/06/2018 17:25

All those horrified at calling it child pornography, just because it isn't pornography to you that doesn't mean that it isn't pornography to somebody else.
You can never be 100% sure of anyone except yourself. For all OP knows one of those uncles could have saved that picture to put in his personal collection (sorry OP not wanting to offend or worry you, just trying to get my point across).
I know it sounds really dramatic but, very sadly, that is the reality of the world we live in. Surely one of the best ways to protect your children is to face up to that reality and try to avoid unnecessary risks?

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:25

As a pp said, I am shocked some people think it's ok!

I'd go fucking mental if my DH sent pics of our daughter with her legs wide open to a fucking whatsapp group!

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:25

Well said @namechange ^

Nicknacky · 29/06/2018 17:25

little Maybe the heat got to you and stopped you reading the post properly before you ranted at people?

Original poster
Sailinghappy · 29/06/2018 17:26

Thanks for your comments everyone - it seems a pretty mixed response and I do genuinely see both sides of the argument. Is just a sweet photo of her in her paddling pool and it's only shared with family so major concerns as such. On the other hand, I just feel as her mummy I want to protect her from being shown these images by her uncle as a laugh on her 18th (or some such scenario) which she may find mortifying at that age. I've just messaged on the group asking everyone to delete the photo please and they've said they have. I will use this as an opportunity to discuss with husband what we share and why its important to me. Thank you again for the feedback, sometimes I'm not sure if it's just me being unreasonable

OP posts:
NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 17:27

This is of course a new ethical dilemma. Because before this generation, we took photos, got them developed, and owned them.

We may have shown them around family or friends as we met face to face. Or perhaps the odd hard copy was sent to relatives farther afield or given to a grandparent for the wall.

Barr a burglary (I know, one of those lesser known family photo thieves) they were kept in an album or attic until the house was cleared out.

But now... op dh has (albeit innocently) given this photo to many, many people. He has lost control of the image with one click.

I do think some discretion should have been exercised, especially as op feels as strongly as she does.

Celebelly · 29/06/2018 17:27

Gads, there's a whole album of photos of me as a baby where I'm in various states of nudeness. Apparently I liked gardening naked in those days (well naked apart from welly boots) I can't say I care if anyone sees them. I was a baby, I don't look like that now! It's hardly embarrassing.

kaytee87 · 29/06/2018 17:27

@Nopointinnamechanging2018 should uncles never baby sit or change nappies then in case their perverts?
Look I agree that it's wiser to cover up a child's genitals before sending a picture but the hysteria on this thread is ridiculous.