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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photo of nude baby

279 replies

Sailinghappy · 29/06/2018 16:28

Genuinely interested to see if I'm being unreasonable here... what do you think?

So today my husband was playing with our baby daughter in the paddling pool having the loveliest time. She just splashes around in there nude in this heat and loves it! He took a funny photo of her playing with her duckie in the water and shared it on our family whatsapp group - with both aunties and uncles. I do think the photo is cute and I'm glad they had a lovely time playing but I'm fuming because my baby is nude in this photo and she has her legs wide open!! He way she's sitting isn't very dignified and I don't want everyone having photos of that!!!

Husband thinks it's just a funny photo shared with family - AIBU??

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 29/06/2018 17:28

Can people stop referring to child pornography. The term is indecent images of children and THIS is not one.

No you can’t stop what people will do to a photo but the op’s husband was sharing a photo of HIS daughter that he thought was cute to trusted family members.

Yes one of them could be a secret paedophile but it’s done now. He won’t do it again!

Aridane · 29/06/2018 17:30

And the prize for the batshittiest of posts on mumsnet today goes to

The fact is it is child pornography. He should not have sent them. In fact he should not have taken them.

huha · 29/06/2018 17:31

Why are you sexualizing a baby?

PuddlesOfBud · 29/06/2018 17:32

I edit the dangelies with a heart or a star for my boys personally but cheeks are fine

I think a penis heart might be worse tbh Grin

I don't see why children can't have some privacy OP. Nothing rong with wandering around naked as the say she was born at the pool, or beach or anywhere in public. But don't need to give the pics to everyone. I woudl like loads of naked toddler pics of myself around. Maybe that's weird but it should be my business.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 17:32

Celebelly

Gads, there's a whole album of photos of me as a baby where I'm in various states of nudeness. Apparently I liked gardening naked in those days (well naked apart from welly boots) I can't say I care if anyone sees them. I was a baby, I don't look like that now! It's hardly embarrassing.

So if they are fine, but all means share an example please don’t because it would be totally inappropriate

huha · 29/06/2018 17:33

I don’t think anyone should share a picture of anyone’s naked body without their permission.

I guess you're one of those people who think you should seek permission from a baby before changing their nappy too? 🙄

Madbengalmum · 29/06/2018 17:33

FFS, you would have to be sick in the head to think that is pornography. What a country of wierdos we have become.

JennieLee · 29/06/2018 17:34

I think it is a bit weird the way we talk about babies as if they were sexual beings.

The baby girl has her legs wide open . There's a concern for dignity. There's the idea that the picture shows her vagina, when a baby girl doesn't even have the visible labia that an older girl has.

I suppose it's just depressing that female children are viewed like this.

PuddlesOfBud · 29/06/2018 17:34

huhu a chld needs its arse wiped. It doesn't need naked pics of themselves all over the place.

JustHereForThePooStories · 29/06/2018 17:34

I’d be very uncomfortable if I received that photo. On my phone, all photos that I receive through WhatsApp automatically save to my camera roll, and I don’t want photos of someone else’s child’s genitalia there.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 17:35

I guess you're one of those people who think you should seek permission from a baby before changing their nappy too? 🙄

Why wouldn’t you? Of course you would say to a baby, “oh I think you need a clean nappy... shall we go and change this one?” They are sentient and we are not robots!

Nicknacky · 29/06/2018 17:36

Even if it was your nieces who’s bum you had probably wiped?

Can we stop sexualising baby photos, ffs. It’s a human body, nothing else.

Nicknacky · 29/06/2018 17:36

Sorry that was to just

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:38

I am not gonna shout 'child porn' at all, but the OP is not being unreasonable to feel uncomfortable about this.

Hell would freeze over before I would share a pic of my daughter - or son - with their genitals on full show. No way. Not accusing anyone of potentially being a perv or anything, but as a few posters have said, it's an unpleasant world out there, and it really doesn't sit well with me, someone sharing pics of their baby daughter with their legs wide open and the vaj on full view. There are some weirdos and pervs out there, and as one poster said, how does the OP's husband know that someone on the whatsapp group isn't a bit dodgy?

And I don't give a shit if people used to have loads of pics of them in the buff with fanjo and bum galore showing. It would not have happened with my kids - never. Never ever. No way.

And knock yourself out with the 'it must be so exhausting to be so cynical' comments that people often come out with on here. I don't care. I don't think it's right that this baby girl's father has shared pics of her with her legs wide open and her vaj on full view.

I am guessing also, that it's not possible to take these pics back either or undo the fact they have been sent out. I would be fucking livid.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 17:38

Why wouldn’t you? Of course you would say to a baby, “oh I think you need a clean nappy... shall we go and change this one?” They are sentient and we are not robots!

hahaha Oh good god!

I do feel so sorry for children who will be raised by some of the weirdos on here, seeing sexual threat in the most innocent activity.
We are talking about a wee one in her baby pool. It's sick to see what people jump to!

longwayoff · 29/06/2018 17:38

Years ago on a day like today in Kew Gardens another visitor dispatched a park policeman to tell me to dress my naked 6 month old as she could see his genitals. Must have had eyes like a bloody hawk she was nowhere near us. Maybe we frightened her away.

Seafoodeatit · 29/06/2018 17:39

YANBU.

mindutopia · 29/06/2018 17:39

I definitely don’t think you’re being unreasonable here. It’s fine if that’s what everyone is comfortable with, but your dh should have checked with you first. It’s definitely not something I’d be comfortable with at all. You just never quite know, even within family, what might happen to those photos. We have a situation in our family where a long trusted relative turned out much to our surprise to be a paedophile. Everyone thought he was lovely and trustworthy because he was family. He went to prison and part of his charges (in addition to the actual assault on a child) related to indecent images. After that experience, I don’t even allow grandparents to have photos like that. It’s completely shaken my sense of trust in even people I know. YANBU.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 17:40

It's sick to see what people jump to!

Calm down, love.

littlemissdynamite · 29/06/2018 17:41

What @mindutopia said ^

longwayoff · 29/06/2018 17:42

Leighaj you shouldn't be noticing a baby's vagina. Are you ok?

SleepingStandingUp · 29/06/2018 17:42

Do you think anyone in the group is. A paedophile? I know we never really know but given that most people aren't, I don't think I'd assume that my family are without cause

ADastardlyThing · 29/06/2018 17:43

Justhere, I believe you can delete photos from your camera roll and remove them from your WhatsApp too

starcrossedseahorse · 29/06/2018 17:43

Can we not say 'child pornography'? Its a horrible term and you mean indecent images of children.

Also, get your terminology right. I would be very very alarmed if anyone had taken a pic of a baby girl's vagina FGS. Think you mean her vulva. Words matter.

Celebelly · 29/06/2018 17:43

I'll happily send you nude baby photos of me if you really want, previous poster. I'd think you were a bit weird but that's par for the course on this thread where the inmates seem to have taken over the asylum.

It's one thing to not want those pictures taken for whatever reason, but branding it child porn and going on and on about vaginas (assuming people actually mean vulvas?) being on show is patently absurd.