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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by child grabbing my baby

124 replies

Fluffsy · 28/06/2018 17:39

I am a first time mum and have a 3 month old daughter . She was sitting on my lap in the doctors surgery when a young girl about 2, approached her then skipped away. She then came back and grabbed my daughter's arm and leg.

I froze. The girl then skipped away. Her mother was watching and didnt say or do anything. I got up and moved to the other side of the waiting room.

My daughter was completely fine but I was worried as my daughter is so young and this other child was in the surgery that germs/infection risk. My DH thinks as our daughter is only 13 weeks I should have batted the child's hands away and as a result I am questioning myself. I thought had I done this I could be accused of assaulting the child.

Is this really minor and I am being an overzealous first time mum?
I am also thinking what if the girl had actually hit my baby and what would or should I have done?? What have other m&s done?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fluffsy · 28/06/2018 17:42

Sorry darn autocorrect " what have other mums done??"

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 28/06/2018 17:42

So she touched your baby. Really don't see the big deal. You could always say please don't touch the baby a 2 year old would understand this. You are being very pfb!

BrutusMcDogface · 28/06/2018 17:43

FFS. She was a two year old, not a monster. I would have said "ooh, be gentle with the baby, please!" There's no need to "bat her away" (really? He really would have done that to someone else's toddler?)

Rocinante1 · 28/06/2018 17:43

When a child is misbehaving and it affects you, and their own parents don't say anything then it is absolutely ok for you to speak up. I would have told her as soon as she grabbed that "we don't grab little babies, they are much smaller than you". There wouldn't be any need to shout, but there's nothing wrong with a reprimand. If thw kid kept doing it, then you ask the mother to discipline her child.

If something like this ever happens again, don't be afraid to speak up.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 28/06/2018 17:43

Op calm down, in the nicest possible way this is a total non event. If you were worried about germs just give her a wipe with anti bacterial gel

wishingitwasfriday · 28/06/2018 17:43

You are being over zealous. I presume you haven't been to any baby groups yet? Many children will touch your baby. Two year olds are curious and most love babies and want to touch them.
I think you are being a bit pfb, but try to not worry about things like this, they really don't matter. As long as your baby wasn't hurt or upset then no harm done.

pastabest · 28/06/2018 17:44

Well the other mum should have said something but yes you are being a bit PFB I'm afraid.

Your daughter is fine, and in a few months when she is crawling she will be licking the bin and eating 'floor food' and you will feel a bit silly worrying about a toddler touching her Grin

Helloisitteaurlookingfor · 28/06/2018 17:44

I also have a 3 month old first baby but I think you're being a bit OTT.

It doesn't sound like the child did any harm to your baby and was just curious. Granted the mum should have told her to be careful but you then moved to the other side so the problem was solved anyway.

In terms of germs, there's no saying whether the 2 year old was ill herself or there for something routine or not ill at all. There will be more germs floating about the surgery in general than to worry about just one child and, besides, you can't wrap kids in bubblewrap, they can and need to be exposed to general germs.

PepperSteaks · 28/06/2018 17:44

I’m sure her parents would have been impressed if you hit her!

ApolloandDaphne · 28/06/2018 17:44

The thing to have done would have been to just smile at the tot and maybe said something like 'careful, she is just a little baby'. I am sure she couldn't do much harm being so small herself. It is very minor - babies are very robust.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 28/06/2018 17:45

Also your dp sounds like a loon

LilQueenie · 28/06/2018 17:46

you will be near germs and disease each time you touch a door handle or handle money. You don't need to worry about a 2 year old. It is a bit pfb. I went through that phase. It gets easier I promise.

HarshingMyMellow · 28/06/2018 17:47

Your partner suggested that you should've batted away a 2 year old? Really? I'd of hated to see him in that situation.

Completely PFB from the both of you. A little girl touching your baby is going to be the least of your worries once she starts playgroup, school, going to parks...

Total non issue.

MyDcAreMarvel · 28/06/2018 17:47

You dh told you to hit a child and you are know thinking that would have been a good idea!
You sound unhinged to put it politely.

PotteringAlong · 28/06/2018 17:47

You should have done a Monsters, Inc and shouted “23 19, we have a 23 19” really really loudly whilst panicking!

In reality you are being incredibly precious about this. It’s a complete none issue.

SandyFagina · 28/06/2018 17:48

Get a fucking grip.

mozzybites · 28/06/2018 17:49

The other mum should have reminded her DC to be gentle and not touch other DC. But this is really, really minor. It is good your DH and yourself want to protect your DC but there isn't really anything to protect from here.

PolkerrisBeach · 28/06/2018 17:50

If you were worried about germs just give her a wipe with anti bacterial gel

Really bad advice as it reinforced the idea that there was something to worry about. Which there's not.

OP please do not turn into one of those neurotic types who never leaves the house without anti bac gels and sees "germs", "infection" and "danger" everywhere.

GertrudeCB · 28/06/2018 17:51

Your do sounds like an arse. Other children will touch your child. Chill out.

LampHat · 28/06/2018 17:51

I really wouldn’t worry - she’ll be fine. Different story if she’d hit your baby, but she didn’t. Just ask the child not to touch If you don’t want her to. The other mum should have called her back really if she was grabbing, but it’s not worth over-thinking! Smile

HarshingMyMellow · 28/06/2018 17:51

I like to keep my DD near me whilst at appointments and the like but if she was to touch a baby and the parent smacked her hand away, I would not be impressed at all.

You agree with your partner too Shock

If your PFB is so precious, don't take her to areas where there may be other (sick) people.
If you have to, invest in a mask.

Idratherhaveacupoftea · 28/06/2018 17:51

What a fuss about nothing. Sometimes I despair, I really do.

peneleope82 · 28/06/2018 17:51

When my second was three months old he spent every day being prodded and petted by my first who had just turned two (and various other two year olds at soft play/the park/on play dates). He survived.

If the toddler had come up and hit or punched your baby then fair enough to be annoyed but it sounds like a total non event.

I don’t mean to sound like a patronising eejit but in a while you and your partner will (hopefully!) look back on this and wince at your reactions (as I’m sure we all do at our PFB behaviour).

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 28/06/2018 17:52

Chill op. You just need to go "no, sweetie, she's only little" smile, smile at mum (maybe even talk to her!) Never know, you might make a friend.
Your dp on the other hand...
(Had to laugh at licking the bin)

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/06/2018 17:53

The other girl is only young and even though what she did scared you she didn't do any harm.

Time to toughen up OP Smile