To be annoyed by child grabbing my baby

[Fluffsy]

I am a first time mum and have a 3 month old daughter . She was sitting on my lap in the doctors surgery when a young girl about 2, approached her then skipped away. She then came back and grabbed my daughter's arm and leg.

I froze. The girl then skipped away. Her mother was watching and didnt say or do anything. I got up and moved to the other side of the waiting room.

My daughter was completely fine but I was worried as my daughter is so young and this other child was in the surgery that germs/infection risk. My DH thinks as our daughter is only 13 weeks I should have batted the child's hands away and as a result I am questioning myself. I thought had I done this I could be accused of assaulting the child.

Is this really minor and I am being an overzealous first time mum?
I am also thinking what if the girl had actually hit my baby and what would or should I have done?? What have other m&s done?

One of my twins loved babies and had to be watched like a hawk at playgroups or he’d try and pick them up

Most mums loved him though as he was the best baby entertainer.

You did just the right thing. Your DH is either hilarious or mad. Batted her hands away! I bet he wouldn’t have done that really.

Next time be a little braver and talk to the toddler. You’ll be the proud owner of one before you know it.

Crikey...

What's PFB?!

When your child is 2 think back to what you posted here.
Your 3 month old is fine. The 2 year old is just being a 2 year old.

Toddler isn't in the wrong. She is only 2, but if I was her mum I wouldn't have sat back whilst she did that. I'm would of been very apologetic.
I think her mum was BU not really you or the kid.

It'll be a real eye-opener if you have a second, OP. My friend's toddler throws objects at her baby brother's head.

Soon you will have a two year old who may be interested in babies. Also there are ‘germs’ everywhere, all the time.

lf you had 'batted the child", however gently, you actually could have been arrested for assault, had her mother chosen to report it. l know it sounds mad but that's actually true. She was only small and didn't harm your baby. And she's well under the age of Criminal Responsibility, which is ten years old.
lt just sounds like she was curious about your baby. lt happens a lot when little ones don't have younger siblings or babies around them normally. To be fair, her mother should have said something to her, but that's parenting for you!

Phew! I am actually relieved to get these replies especially the ones with tips on what to say.

My instinct was that it was really minor but I constantly second guess whether I am doing the right thing as a mother, whether I am being too over/under protective, anxious.

Feel as though motherhood is a test which I am constantly failing.

A toddler touched your baby? Yab absolutely batshit ridiculous.

Op if you're like this in everyday life and every decision involved with your baby, you might want to speak to someone.

Creating such a fuss over a toddler touching your baby is not normal.
It's not a test, it's a non-event.

Your DPs attitude is disgusting. If my DH said he would whack a toddlers hand away for anything I would be appalled and questioning his parenting big time!!

You both need to get a massive fucking grip, quickly.

Oh and motherhood is a minefield! Everyone gets pfb syndrome. You are being ridiculous but you’re not failing.. just try to have a word witb yourself. It gets easier I promise... my 18 mo is currently trying to lick puddles off the paving slabs like a dog! 😂

Oh OP. One day you'll look back and cringe laugh at this.

Feel as though motherhood is a test which I am constantly failing.

I guarantee you're not failing anything, OP. Give yourself a break! And stop telling your DP this stuff if he often says anything other than, "Don't be silly, you're doing great".

Your really in grips of the whole 'precious first born' thing aren't you all you had to say is 'please don't do that, she's very little' but you can't keep your DD wrapped up in cotton wool other children will interact and touch her. You'll laugh at your reaction to this one day when your DD is putting everything she finds on the floor into her mouth!

The thing to remember is that there are many different "right responses" to a situation. People parent in different ways, and there are lots of different ways of reacting to a situation. I'd try and trust your first instincts and not give yourself a hard time over things like this.

God help us a child touched your baby stop the front page !!!¡

If you.batted my child's hand away you would have needed the Dr yourself HOW DARE YOUR HUSBAND THINK THAT WOULD BE OK SO IN 2 YEARS WHEN YOUR ORECIOUS BUNDLE TOUCHES A BABY IT WOULD BE OK GOR THEM TO HIT YOUR CHILDS HAND AWAY

@Fluffsy if you want, maybe start another thread in Parenting or Behaviour & Development if you want to chat about things like this. As you can see, AIBU gets a bit, um, heated and useful posts are lost amongst the shouting.

Op - it’s okay. You just experienced a bit of protective instinct, so did your husband to a much lesser extent, and just need to be aware enough to properly temper your reaction.

I distinctly remember how all of a sudden the world was populated with these monster babies/toddlers everywhere when dd was my tiny pfb. Even babies only a few months older looked like they should have a driving license to me

I suspect your husbands reaction was pure bluster in the privacy of his own home but he would do well to remember he has to live in a civilised society.

I’m aware of it now dd is 2 and has a hunger for babies. Most people are fine and I want her to learn to be gentle but I’m aware not every mother will be happy for her baby to be a teaching aid and that’s absolutely their right. It’s hard enough keeping a teeny person alive without worrying about other people’s kids too.

Your baby will be a toddler soon enough. How would you feel if an adult 'batted' her away?

Oh dear OP. I can quite promise you that in a couple of years, after the newborn dog has lifted, you'll look back and cringe at panicking over this. It happens to the best of us. I'm a bit that your DH thinks it's ok to hit a random 2yo though. Next time just say "no sweetheart, she's only little you see so no grabbing".

It'll get less scary op, honestly. But you dh's attitude is worrying.

*fog not dog

Try to relax more and enjoy the fun of having your baby girl. Motherhood isn't a test, nobody is marking you out of ten, so you are not failing.

Get yourself out and about and meet other Mums and babies, you will find children constantly touch each other, very soon it will be your toddler grabbing any passing baby!
Forget about germs, they are everywhere, and your baby has the ability to resist most of them.

You were right not to hit the other child, ignore your husband.

If it happens again, smile at the child and ask the Mum how old she is and what she is called.

The other Mum might be glad of a friendly voice and smile, just the same as you Fluffsy.