To be annoyed by child grabbing my baby

[Fluffsy]

I am a first time mum and have a 3 month old daughter . She was sitting on my lap in the doctors surgery when a young girl about 2, approached her then skipped away. She then came back and grabbed my daughter's arm and leg.

I froze. The girl then skipped away. Her mother was watching and didnt say or do anything. I got up and moved to the other side of the waiting room.

My daughter was completely fine but I was worried as my daughter is so young and this other child was in the surgery that germs/infection risk. My DH thinks as our daughter is only 13 weeks I should have batted the child's hands away and as a result I am questioning myself. I thought had I done this I could be accused of assaulting the child.

Is this really minor and I am being an overzealous first time mum?
I am also thinking what if the girl had actually hit my baby and what would or should I have done?? What have other m&s done?

Don't worry OP you are not failing at all! You just love your little baby and want to do the right thing by her. Now this has happened you will be more aware of what to do next time.

Just say to the two year old careful please she's just a tiny baby.

I have a nearly two year old and a four month old and my four month old is fascinated by her older sibling - but you just have to be very direct and clear with toddlers as they can be rather rough!

IF she had hit or been really rough then I would have said No don't hit and stood up with the baby to comfort the baby BuT that didn't happen so don't worry.

Please don't take to heart some of the extreme responses. You did fine and are just asking. You are a lovely mum to your baby and something I have learnt with having my second that I wish I had known with my first - all we can do is our best, there is no perfect and the only certainty is that we will make some mistakes along the way. You haven't made any mistakes here you are just asking how best to handle a situation. You did fine.

Sending lots of love xxx

All things in moderation, OP. You want to keep your baby clean and not expose them to unnecessary risks, but there are problems with keeping them too germ-free too. Nature designed them to live in the real world.

The fact your husband wanted you to hit another child is concerning, though.

Ask your partner how he would feel if an adult hit your baby. Now make sure he realises that the 2 year olds parents feel the same anger about an adult hitting their baby. If an adult had hit my kids at 2, and even now they are much older belive me I would be out for blood. The 2 year old acted like a 2 year old. You really do need some perspective.

2 year olds are babies.....your DH is a dick.

Get a grip please or you child will be neurotic and not have coping skills. Babies have survived for millions of years.

Ah, the crazy new baby phase. It’s all hormones and sleep deprivation OP. I think all new first time mums are a little nuts. It’s normal. I’m still a bit nuts sometimes and PFB . You will feel a bit more sane in a few months once baby is a bit more robust .

Of course you shouldn’t have batted her away! .
Her parents should have said ‘be gentle with the baby’ or asked her to move away.
She’s 2. Barely more than a baby herself. She doesn’t understand. Many many babies have older siblings, should they not be allowed to touch their baby siblings in case they pass germs along?

Uhm... really?
You'll feel so ridiculous saying this in about a years time!

2nd babies survive and they get touched all the time by their germy siblings.

You are being precious. Your husband sounds a bit unhinged!

@hellohello12345

Thank you for your understanding . I sometimes feel as though I am going insane with all the advice, knowing what is right and wanting to do the right thing and petrified you are not. Your advice makes me feel a little less crazy.

Chill. my 17 week old has been cuddled, squeezed, stroked, poked, had a quaver shoved in his mouth, even picked up by my 3 year old (the latter was when I was in the toilet) and he has so far survived to tell the tale.

This reminds me of when I took my first (now 3) to baby group and he crawled up to a little baby. The Mum pulled her baby away and glared at my 7 month old as if he was going to eat her!

It’s fine, we often forget how difficult having a little baby is esp if you haven’t been surrounded by them. All experiences are now seen in a different light. Just think of all the people on Jeremy Kyle their babies survive )although might be unsure who their dad is) if those people can do it so can you. I think we all did strange things and had a strange perspective on the world. Give yourself a break. In a matter of weeks she’ll be licking the floor trying to crawl. But please don’t hit a two year old. Have a glass of wine tonight and chill

OP you'll get a hard time here in AIBU!

When your baby is 3mo a 2yo looks enormous, but a 2yo is still a baby. And what you need to remember is that your baby isn't made of china! You don't mention your baby making a noise so I presume she's wasn't hurt - this really is a non-event.

You're doing fine, OP, although I think your DH needs to chill a bit. Saying that though, I think a lot of people on this thread have wilfully misunderstood what you meant by batting away...

I must have a different interpretation for batted as I don't see it being even remotely the same as hitting

Wait until DD is 2.

Then you'll know!

Aww op i’m not going to give you a hard time either

Those first few months are insanio and you question everything, it’s very hard to keep track of who you even are when you’re sleep deprived and your world has been turned upside down

It gets easier. Don’t let the people being harsh here put you off coming back for support. We’ve all been there, whether we admit it or not nothing makes you crazy like love, and your first baby makes you feel love like you’ve never felt before.

Oh bless you OP. I was all ready to laugh at you but then I remembered having to take my 5 day old daughter to A&E because I was worried she was dehydrated (she wasn't) and being apoplectic that a mother was allowing her CLEARLY ILL child to just WANDER AROUND THE WAITING ROOM, he OBVIOUSLY HAD SLAPPED CHEEK or SCARLET FEVER or MEASLES or SOMETHING and SURELY THAT'S DANGEROUS FOR BABIES and YOU'D THINK SHE'D TAKE HIM OUTSIDE etc etc - thoughts of this nature continued running through my head until she wiped the strawberry smoothie from around his mouth and turned to her teenager who was holding her arm at a very funny angle and looking a bit green.

It all gets a lot less scary, I promise. But try and remember that a few germs are good for them.

Chill. my 17 week old has been cuddled, squeezed, stroked, poked, had a quaver shoved in his mouth, even picked up by my 3 year old (the latter was when I was in the toilet) and he has so far survived to tell the tale

Mexicans used to be ridiculously overprotective of their babies, then 1985 earthquake hit a maternity hospital and babies were still being pulled out of the rubble alive two weeks later. Since then the attitude has changed.

What bad thing actually happened? Nothing happened. I think you are over thinking this.

You’ll look back and give yourself a retrospective kick when your DD is 2.
Save a spare kick for your precious husband.
Have you got room for another grip in your mounting pile?

And have these with the grip.
I was you 16 years ago.
Don’t worry.

Want to feel better.....two days ago two of the girls who live in our street came up and one started sticking her fingers in my five month old's mouth, saying, "he likes to chew my fingers" at which point I said, "we shouldn't put our fingers in babies mouths" so she started stroking his cheek instead. She asked his name and his age and then I asked her her name and her age (I was also with my four year old who plays with her so this was acceptable chat!) and she said "I've just turned six and I have chicken pox". I'm sure the look of horror on my face was evident but all I can really do is laugh as it's done now (and no spots as yet thankfully)

"Thank you for your understanding . I sometimes feel as though I am going insane with all the advice, knowing what is right and wanting to do the right thing and petrified you are not. Your advice makes me feel a little less crazy."

Sorry, @Fluffsy - I am afraid that, now you are a parent, sanity is a thing of the past. You may cling onto a few final shreds, the last marble may not fall out of the bag for a few years yet, but basically crazy is the way forward.

Do not worry about it - embrace the insanity.

My dses are 21, 23 and 25, I am as mad as a mad person from the city of Madville.