Does anyone know (maybe) why my friend

[AllRightNowInFactItsAGas]

suddenly keeps trying to invite me to her house in the day-time when she knows I work full-time?

I have a friend who I've known about a year now and she has suddenly started pretending she doesn't know I work full-time (week days only usually) and she has been asking me to come to her house like on a Monday morning and when I laughed it off (thought she was just having a laugh) and said 'Oh no I can't silly it's Monday morning , ya daft thing haha' she then asked me the very next day to come to her house in the middle of the day, this time she was a little hurt when i said 'No sorry, i have to crack at work (am in the middle of a serious work issue at that moment which she did know), but she just said please come and that she'd already told her kids I was coming.

I'm so confused, she has ALWAYS known me to work full time in the week since we met.

Has anyone got any clue or previous experience of friend doing this to help me figure as to why this is happening all of a sudden?

My DH says just say no and ignore any pouting just and get on with my work as usual until she asks me to do something more normal (ie not impossible) but I'm now left feeling so confused that she suddenly forgot that I work and also seemed almost put out by it this week.

This is new to this week, she always knew that I worked before, in fact she's looked into a similar line of work and asked me all about the hours and what''s involved etc so no confusion there about when I work.

Although she has text me in work time before but I just get back after work when I've seen it and she's always been happy with that before now.

I must just add, I do like her very much, she is nice and kind and a lovely caring friend. I'm just so confused by this week and wonder if anyone can think why she now thinks I can stop working and just go off to her house instead?

Why not just ask her? Just say what you've said here, that you're really confused as she's always known you have a FT job - maybe ask if there is something urgent/serious going on that she needs to talk to you about?

Do you work from home?

Do you think she could be in a bit of a situation and needs your advice/company? Has anything happened recently that might suggest she needs a kind shoulder? Or are they literally just social invites to come play with the kids?

Thanks Green I never thought about that she might have something wrong and need to talk.

Hmm yes I will, i'll be seeing her at weekend in any case so maybe all will become clearer then.

Fang - yes i do some of the days, I also go on-site and also do sales at client's premises, but I always have to be available office hours, I couldn't just disappear for a bit if you get me.

Do you work from home? This is a big bugbear for me - people who think that because I run my business from home, I can swan about having coffees and chats, and answering calls, because I'm at home. Boundaries are required!!!

Forgot I'm considering this now. Although it did seem like just come and see the kids/play in the garden/have a coffee type invite and I think her DH was around so now I think on it, I'm not so sure it would be to confide in me.

Forgot I'm considering this now. Although it did seem like just come and see the kids/play in the garden/have a coffee type invite and I think her DH was around so now I think on it, I'm not so sure it would be to confide in me.

Brake - yes I am thinking this is it now, she might think because i could randomly be working from home one of the days sometimes that I can make it just be any day and also just then take the day off instead of actually doing it.

Brake how do you mange this with people?

Yikes i meant manage!!!

Sounds like she thinks you are on flexible hours. Just tell her when your work hours are.

Yep - it's the work from home thing. I get the same thing. Even from bloomin' family in the same house who can SEE me working

Flying I did say (in a message) after Monday when she was saying what fun they had in the garden something like "Sorry I missed it, it's no good for me in the week but weekends I'm good' ... but then she did it again on the Tuesday

Laiste aw that's annoying,

Funnily enough I wasn't working from home on those days but I now think she thinks I can change it, which I can't someone books all my time in advance.

She wants you to entertain her kids while she uses you as a soundboard. That's why she won't accept no as your answer. Why else tell the kids you're coming over? She is making out to the kids that you're coming to see them. They'll be all over you, vying for your attention while she just sits moaning about everything.

I think that for whatever reason (confusion? daftness?) she doesn't understand about your work hours and you'll have to be crystal clear about the hours when you're socially available somehow. Write them down?

Dunno how you're going to do this without looking as if you think she's an idiot mind you

I'm picturing you writing the word

WEEKENDS

on a piece of paper and handing it over now

Her behaviour sounds odd. I think you need to be very clear after asking the initial is she ok and establishing that this is her issue. Say something like “I work every day from x to y time. WFH days are planned in advance and can’t be changed unfortunately. Much as I’d much rather see little bunny and snuggles for a play, coffee and chat, I absolutely have to work during my contracted hours.”

Would the reason she wants to see you during the day because she has something to tell you and you would have your partner in tow at weekends?

Haha - right I'm going to do it!!

I have a friend like this! I work from home often and cannot just swan off . She never seems to remember I work. I think because I am home she thinks I can do what I want with my day. Its really weird.

I have a friend like this! I work from home often and cannot just swan off . She never seems to remember I work. I think because I am home she thinks I can do what I want with my day. Its really weird.

Could it be anything to do with the weather?! Maybe she assumes that you would want to enjoy yourself in the sunshine!

It's just mad to me how they can just think working isn't working unless you go out to 'a place'.

I could be booked to go out anywhere and then I still have to rush to get home and have to log and process it all on our systems. I'd be buggered if i just took myself off anywhere!

It's really crazy!

Is it possible she has anxiety and really wants company? I had a friend like this who used to turn up at peop!as doors at 7.30 in the morning after her dh left for work. Some of these friends were working and told her repeatedly that they weren't available but she still kept turning up. She later told me her anxiety was sky high and she was having very intrusive thoughts when alone. She knew the others worked but wasn't really thinking clearly.