This has escalated a bit more now and I feel weird.
I just needed your thoughts before but I think I need a bit of advice on what to say, if anything as this has gone a bit weirder since I posted a few days ago and I feel a bit upset and 'off balance' about it all now.
So we were to meet with other friends this weekend in a group I put together because we all share a hobby/activity and we sometimes like to get together socially too. I know everyone coming but they don't all know each other (because I created the group and added the people who share my interest into the group).
We were picking her up and some others. She asked me if I was coming to her house first if I was ready earlier (with DH who is also involved in hobby/group), I thought - 'she's doing it again!' so I said 'We'll pop in before we go but only if we can manage to be ready a bit earlier' she never replied to that so i thought she hadn't liked it as an answer - oh well, unlikely to be ready that early anyway - who is?
So I forgot all that with the general days chores/getting ready for the event itself and communicating with the others, also I'd realised that if others turn up they won't know each other so I need to be there early to greet them and collect them together as they arrived. I usually do this because I should do, so I asked DH to drop me there and then him collect some of the others who he was driving to it (he offered to get them all).
So when this plan was formed I sent her a message to let her know what was happening and that I would be at the place first to greet, DH picking them up then meet me there. She said 'So are you still coming to my house then first?' Just so you know, we do not live near her and the event is half way between us, plus it was nearly time, ie just enough time to realistically get ready and get dropped there before they all arrived (in fact we were still a bit late)!! 
So I said no I mean this is the plan for TODAY like VERY SOON - and reiterated that I am going to be dropped there first and greet the others and you come with the other ones with DH (he was going out of way to pick them all up and yet she thought he should drive me to hers earlier then drive me to the event then drive back for them all and then bring them to where I was!! I was a bit shocked and I feel unsettled now!
Even worse - she was slightly cool towards me at the event (but not so's anyone would notice, just a bit frosty) and during the time she showed DH a picture of her kids saying she had put them in their special clothes because we might be coming and she had made special party food for us with them (but the event itself was a meal!). So she got them all exited for something that could not realistically or logistically have happened - just WHY?? 
Please help me make sense of all this I am so confused and unsettled. It just don't feel right!
I was hoping we would be able to have a good old chat at the meal and feel all better from this week's strangeness, but she didn't sit near me and stayed away plus I had to 'bond' everyone together for the first bit but then it just never happened, she was a bit 'off' - but nothing you could notice from the outsider point of view.
We had made a proper plan to see them all in a couple of weeks (at the weekend which is the next time we're free) and I am not sure what all this is about but there seems to be a request to go to her house almost every day now and we have apparently disappointed the kids if we don't go (which we won't because there's never time when she asks!)
I suppose it's starting to feel like a sort of 'game' but I don't want to play it. I'm mad busy and need easy going friends who are busy too.
I do want the friendship though just want a bit of respect and not to be manipulated. I want understanding from mates like I give them, not more pressure and no-win situations invented. But then I like her!
What's happening? Can anyone help to figure this out and navigate this pressure and still remain friends?
It sounds crazy now I've written it. Help!