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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the lift is for anyone who needs it

373 replies

EeyoresEars · 28/06/2018 06:46

Queuing up to use the lift at a busy station this week. There were about 6-8 people in front of me and I’m not sure how many behind. I waited for lift as I’m pregnant and couldn’t have carried my buggy down the long flight of stairs.

A woman who was using a wheelchair was a couple of people behind me in the queue and I heard her starting to complain, not directed at anyone, just talking loudly so everyone could hear. She kept saying she was going to miss her train because of all the lazy people who should carry their cases down the stairs instead of using the lift.

Then she started complaining about people not carrying buggies down the stairs. I kept ignoring her, as did everyone else, which I think made her more angry. She shouted to a staff member and asked what she was going to do about the lazy people in the queue. The staff member said there isn’t priority access for the lift and it’s safest for people not to carry heavy luggage on stairs if they don’t feel able to. The woman using the wheelchair kept on complaining and saying she was taking it further.

Aibu to think anyone who needs the lift can use it and if you have to queue then that’s just life?

OP posts:
Spanglyprincess1 · 28/06/2018 06:51

I don't think so. I always leave extra time for trains etc now pregnant as I know I struggle with stairs. It's a shame for wheelchair users but older people or anyone else who needs a lift surely does the same (smae for airports!)

PremierNaps · 28/06/2018 06:53

I would have told her to leave the house earlier. The staff member was correct if you don't feel safe carrying heavy luggage/prams on the stairs they should use the lift. I use the lift when I have luggage 😁

APermanentlyExhaustedPigeon · 28/06/2018 06:53

In the train stations/airports I’ve been in, anyone with heavy luggage/buggies are encouraged to use the lifts as it is more dangerous for them to use the stairs/escalators due to increased risk of falling. YANBU. Sounds like the station needs more lifts for the volume of traffic.
Having said that, if I wasn’t in a rush (I.e. had longer before my flight/train) I would let a wheelchair user go first.

TheNavigator · 28/06/2018 06:55

At the station I use, all the signs say you must not take heavy bags on the stairs and escalators and to use the lift.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 28/06/2018 06:55

My manners would put the person in a wheelchair who was complaining that they would miss their train in front of me. Obviously as a pregnant woman with a pushchair you should go behind her, because you chose your predicament. It's all about the priorities. People with luggage should let people in wheelchairs ahead.

AJPTaylor · 28/06/2018 06:55

YANBU at all.
Thats what lifts are for. It must be frustrating if literally that is your only option but somewhere like a station or airport loads of people use them. my mum who looks fit and well has recently lost her depth perception so cant do long flights of stairs.
if someone was going to miss their train though id have let them ahead of me (although if they were hurling abuse i might have changed my mind)

Sirzy · 28/06/2018 06:56

It is frustrating having to wait for a lift.

But I tend to work on anyone who is happy to queue rather than just use the stairs is either exceptionally lazy or does need it!

What is annoying is when people see you pushing a wheelchair towards the lift then make a dash to get there before you (people pushing prams seem to be the worst for it!)

AuntieStella · 28/06/2018 06:56

Yes, first come-first-served.

If you cannot wait (can't stand for long, or about to miss your train) then you ask nicely if you can queue jump. In a low key way, so that people can say easily 'no' (if they can't stand for long, are about to miss a train too, or just plain don't want to for any other reason).

I wouldn't be knocking myself out to help someone who had just branded me unreasonably lazy.

10storeylovesong · 28/06/2018 06:58

In this situation, YWNBU. It is a pet peeve of mine when people queue for lifts in shops when there’s a perfectly good escalator about 50m away.

Brigante9 · 28/06/2018 06:59

When I was on crutches, I very deliberately gave myself extra time for train journeys and was last off so I didn’t get jostled. I use the lift at work because my patella slips after a horse related accident and my leg might collapse. There’s no way a pregnant woman should be struggling down steps with a buggy. There isn’t priority for anyone, tough. YANBU.

Original poster
EeyoresEars · 28/06/2018 07:05

Obviously as a pregnant woman with a pushchair you should go behind her, because you chose your predicament. It's all about the priorities. People with luggage should let people in wheelchairs ahead.

I don’t really consider being pregnant, pushing a buggy and needing the lift to be a predicament.

But the logic of saying people are less deserving of services because they “chose” to need them is bizarre. My friend badly broke her ankle when she (foolishly, by her own admission!) tried to run in the snow after having quite a few drinks. Was she less worthy of help while using a wheelchair because her injury was avoidable?

OP posts:
Original poster
EeyoresEars · 28/06/2018 07:09

Should perhaps also have said the lift only served one platform so everyone waiting for the lift was hoping to catch the same train. So the only way anyone could have allowed someone else to go ahead of them would have been if they didn’t mind risking missing the train themselves.

OP posts:
WineAndTiramisu · 28/06/2018 07:10

I'd let someone who asked nicely queue jump in that situation, but not if they were mouthing off about "lazy people"
Generally if people are queueing for a lift, they need it otherwise they wouldn't queue!

Shampooeeee · 28/06/2018 07:12

YANBU she was very rude.

Cheby · 28/06/2018 07:15

Obviously as a pregnant woman with a pushchair you should go behind her, because you chose your predicament. It's all about the priorities. People with luggage should let people in wheelchairs ahead.

This is ridiculous. Lots of people don’t choose to be pregnant either! There is no priority access for lifts. I had to use one for years after a serious break. I just made sure I left enough time for my train, which people who use wheelchairs are also able to do.

If the lady had found herself unexpectedly late, she could have politely explained the situation and asked if people would mind her jumping in front of them.

If she’d done that I would have offered to let her, as long as I wasn’t going to miss my train as a result. Passive aggressive comments would make me inclined not to let her queue jump. Sounds like she was just a bit of a dick OP.

Discotits · 28/06/2018 07:16

The thing is, how can she know whether people can carry the cases up and down stairs? They might have back problems etc. Annoying for her, but presumably all those people wanted the same train.

Ifailed · 28/06/2018 07:18

The lift is there to provide a safe transfer from one level to another for passengers who need it. There is no priority of need, unless some sort of medical emergency.

Discotits · 28/06/2018 07:18

Also, did she even miss the train in the end?

WeirdCatLady · 28/06/2018 07:23

I can see why she was annoyed. As a wheelchair user she has no other choice than to use the lift. Yes, in an ideal world there wouldn’t be a queue etc etc but as someone who has had to wait with dds wheelchair while lazy gits use the lift instead of walking a little further, I can see why she got annoyed. That’s not saying the people in your queue were lazy, I’m sure everyone had valid reasons, just making the point that life in a wheelchair is hard and, imho, her needs do trump yours as she has no other choice, whereas you could have used the stairs, just chose not to because it was easier.

Original poster
EeyoresEars · 28/06/2018 07:26

Discotits, I’m not certain but I think she would have made it as she would have got in the next lift after me and I got on the train a good few minutes before it left.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 28/06/2018 07:27

You should have let her go in front. She has to book and organise access for her train. If she missed her train, she would have been left quite literally stranded. What to you came across as rude was stress ad fear.

Disabled people are already invisible. You and the people with cases should have a bit more empathy. The manager was a complete jobsworth. You’re only pregnant. They only had cases. I hope you’re all slapping yourselves on the back for making a vulnerable woman frightened and even more vulnerable.

Disgusting behaviour. I’m disabled btw. Not a wheelchair user thank goodness although in honesty I do need one part time.

Kerberos · 28/06/2018 07:28

There's still no excuse for passive aggressive rudeness.

If she had pointed out she was about to miss a train and please could she go ahead then there's a good chance people would have let her through.

Original poster
EeyoresEars · 28/06/2018 07:29

her needs do trump yours as she has no other choice, whereas you could have used the stairs, just chose not to because it was easier.

Please don’t make assumptions about others abilities. I’m pregnant, I have SPD and carpal tunnel syndrome. I would struggle to walk down stairs at all and I certainly cannot carry a buggy down a long flight of stairs. There is no choice involved.

OP posts:
FuckPants · 28/06/2018 07:30

Yes it's for anybody, however I have a physical disability and I remember being asked once by an older woman with a suitcase why I wanted to get the lift that she was also waiting for Hmm

BoomBoomsCousin · 28/06/2018 07:32

whereas you could have used the stairs, just chose not to because it was easier.

Or chose not to so as to not endanger herself or others. As has been pointed on this thread (and, often, on signs in stations) taking a buggy or heavy suitcase on stairs or escalators is not advisable as it isn't as safe as using the lift.