To think the lift is for anyone who needs it

[EeyoresEars]

Queuing up to use the lift at a busy station this week. There were about 6-8 people in front of me and I’m not sure how many behind. I waited for lift as I’m pregnant and couldn’t have carried my buggy down the long flight of stairs.

A woman who was using a wheelchair was a couple of people behind me in the queue and I heard her starting to complain, not directed at anyone, just talking loudly so everyone could hear. She kept saying she was going to miss her train because of all the lazy people who should carry their cases down the stairs instead of using the lift.

Then she started complaining about people not carrying buggies down the stairs. I kept ignoring her, as did everyone else, which I think made her more angry. She shouted to a staff member and asked what she was going to do about the lazy people in the queue. The staff member said there isn’t priority access for the lift and it’s safest for people not to carry heavy luggage on stairs if they don’t feel able to. The woman using the wheelchair kept on complaining and saying she was taking it further.

Aibu to think anyone who needs the lift can use it and if you have to queue then that’s just life?

Everyone should be leaving in plenty of time to get their train and if everyone did that then everyone would have time to let a wheelchair user go in front of them. I sympathise, though, OP, as I had a very difficult pregnancy and I would also let someone pregnant and carrying a buggy go in front of me.

If someone posts that they've "inadvertently" parked in a disabled bay or says that they think that mums shouldn't have to fold buggies on buses to accommodate wheelchairs, the general consensus on here is that they are wrong. So why is it ok for people to use lifts when they don't have disabilities but it is simply more convenient?

Honestly, it's not rocket science.

In the situations you describe there is a clear hierarchy of need with disabled people being given priority. That should be respected.

In the OP's situation, lots of people cannot safely or easily use the stairs, the wheelchair user is not prioritised and therefore must wait their turn.

Fiery so everyone in the queue was like you, then? Unlikely.

Some people have hidden disabilities. Some people are elderly or frail and prams obviously also have to use the lift.

Seriously from everyday experience not everyone needs to use it. See the previous poster's M&S experience.

On a day to day basis no I don't vent my fury. But if it's a bad day and I've been constantly pushed to the edge I will express my anger somehow - I also have autism and when it's too much and I melt down you'll hear the anger. Might not be very coherent, though.

So why is it ok for people to use lifts when they don't have disabilities but it is simply more convenient?

MN inconsistency at its best

No it's not, it's different circumstances completely -

no one knows about the needs of the people in the queue for the lift

recommendations in stations are that passengers carry heavy bags in the lift

the same goes for buggies

Obviously there should be more lifts and there should be a member of staff who can help when long queues of people mean that people might miss a train - but none of these things have been the fault of the op.

Now there are some lifts that do have priority access, and yes it is frustrating when these get clogged up with people who don't need to use that priority, but that isn't the circumstance here.

BishopBrennan lucky you! Some of us with a SPD had no bloody choice but to use our pregnancy related SPD to use disabled facilities! As it made us bloody disabled!

Here was me thinking that people who have experienced disabilities would actually have empathy for others who have disabilities. But no, it’s obviously all about you because your experience is that you were still able to mobilise, you didn’t need to use disabled loos, so that means every person with SPD has no right to need to use disabled facilities, shame on them if they do right?

So I didn’t need the wheelchair I ended up in with my severe spd? I didn’t need the disabled loo so my husband could help me from the wheelchair to the loo no? In fact I shouldn’t need my wheelchair at all now should I, so hang on, I will stay at the bus stop so someone more deserving in a wheelchair can use the disabled area on the bus.

Thankfully in my experience disability does not have a hierarchy of who is more deserving before deciding who gets to use disabled facilities. I have thankfully not met many people who judge other disabled people or who think they are more entitled to disabled facilities! Most disabled people I have met, those with invisible disabilities included have been full of empathy for others.

Unless there's a "disabled -only" lift, of course it's unreasonable to expect priority access. Most stations don't have escalators, so it's not even about being lazy, there's a lift, you use it and you queue for it.

I agree, it's a shame the woman didn't just ask politely, all the anger was so unnecessary.

I would actually say that anyone that wants to use the lift should be entitled to use it. It isn’t solely for the use of disabled people.

However I think it’s a bit mean that the 6-8 of you didn’t have the heart to let the wheelchairs user get in the lift first. That’s just common sense really, unless there’s a ramp, the wheelchair user can’t exit the station any other way. The rest of you could manage or wait. In fact wherever I go (Londoner that visits the Midlands often) I and fellow passengers give wheelchair users right of way. It’s just being kind and considerate.

It’s her own fault that she would be cutting it fine to get her train though. Not your problem. Also it makes sense for people with bikes, heavy luggage and pushchairs to take the lift. I hate seeing parents awkwardly attempt to take their pram up the escalators! And anyone that just wants to take the lift, whether they’re tired, injured or just lazy.

*And anyone that just wants to take the lift should

Some disabled people are deeply unpleasant and rude. Just like the rest of the population.

Just by her attitude I wouldn't have let her in.

recommendations in stations are that passengers carry heavy bags in the lift

I was in a mainline station earlier in the year and they had bollards by the escalators. If you bag couldn't fit through, you had to get the lift.

I have autoimmune health issues, which mean I get fatigue and joint pain. I sometimes have to travel to a city into a large busy station for work. Sometimes I can't do stairs. If I try idiots huff at and push me as I'm slow. Not to mention I may have to stop at the top to recover. And will be even more exhausted than I would be anyway from the travel and work course/ meeting.
I got told off by a couple - ironically middle-aged and perfectly healthy looking - for using the lift at a station. In that case everyone waiting could fit in and it was going out of the station, so I wasn't affecting anyone. I gave them both barrels not sorry I get looks all the time. People should never assume someone who looks healthy is, and us just lazy. I doubt anyone would wait for the lift out of laziness.

'I hope you’re all slapping yourselves on the back for making a vulnerable woman frightened'

She doesn't sound a bit frightened to me.

My son is over 6ft, only in his thirties and keeps himself in very good shape so to look at him he looks a very strong able bodied, picture of health. But he has MS and during a bad day or week he drops or let's go of almost anything he tries to grip and his legs give way regularly and he has the most awful fatigue.
But l am confident in that situation he would have let the lady go first and seen through her 'anger' and rose above it. For all we know the lady could've had some MH issues as well as physical and couldn't help her outbursts.
My son is extremely grateful for every day he has not had to become a wheelchair user which he may well do one day,, that's why he would ve given way to the lady, 'stroppy' or not every single time.

Op yanbu! I fell down some stairs in a shopping centre when pregnant with my 2 year old after carrying his buggy down the stairs. A queue is there for a reason & you wait your turn

why is it ok for people to use the lifts if they don’t have a disability?

Not all disabilities are visible? You don’t know these people in the queue? Do you know if they have disabilities or not? If they are in pain?

The lifts are for people who feel they need them, not all disabled people are in wheelchairs. People should consider getting to the station earlier to get to their platform.

another issue is that some people have invisible disability -whether physical like arthritis or balance problems or even having issues with heights, or heart disease. People are people -& can be selfish or empathetic whether they are non disabled or disabled, she was being selfish

I do use a lift with bags - even a weekend type one on wheels - as I have a dodgy lower back and I have seized up on an escalator before trying to balance the bag on a different step so the 'escalator walkers' can get past. It's slightly scary to feel your back suddenly 'twang' as you straighten up!

But I try to let wheelchair users and buggy pushers go in front when I can - even if it's only me and them. It takes a bit of manoeuvring to get a wheelchair or buggy in some of the lifts and from a purely selfish point of view I value my ankles!

But I think the woman in the wheelchair could have asked - people can't always see who's behind them. Saying that people who don't look as if they need the lift are 'lazy' is ridiculous. My mum has Alzheimer's, she doesn't look disabled. But Alzheimer's can make floors sway, black mats can look like holes, patterned areas can look like snakes or insects. Getting mum on an escalator doesn't work. She flinches back because 'there are worms' (that's the stripy tread on the escalator steps) and she's convinced the track end teeth will trap her so it's the devil's job to get her off. Imagine that with a load of people treading water behind you...

No one knows what issues other people have and people don't always notice others if they are wrapped up in their thoughts. She should have asked if she could move forward - she obviously had a pretty good tongue in her head.

That’s just common sense really, unless there’s a ramp, the wheelchair user can’t exit the station any other way. The rest of you could manage or wait
But op couldn't manage. I daresay there were some puerile who could bt chose not to. But OP stated she has spd, is pregnant and had a buggy too. So the lift was the only safe option for her and her two children.
As for everyone else could wait you have no idea why they were all planning on catching that train. So the last in the wheelchair must have important plans but everyone else was clearly just hanging out for fun?
Someone really should have held the train for a few minutes whilst the lifts were moving people or the guy could have asked that anyone who was able used the stairs / not after that train go to the end of the queue

to be fair to that woman, if the lift was needed to change platform, she might have been between 2 trains and the first one was delayed (as unusual as that would be in this country )
Sometimes it's not always a case of giving yourself enough time.

The problem would have been easily resolved by asking nicely though.

frightened and even more vulnerable

maybe op felt vulnerable being shouted at by someone even though she cannot fucking physically use the stairs?

being disabled doesn't mean you're allowed to be any more nasty and judgemental than anyone else.

Oh come on, there is no way everybody in that queue had a disability, there are plenty of lazy people around. Not the OP, in this case, or she wouldn't be posting!

I think she started off just a little passive aggressive, but understandable and was completely ignored by everyone - that is rude too. If I was in that queue, with a genuine need to use it, but wasn't close to missing my train, of course I would let her in. If I was about to miss my train too, I would at least tell her that, not just ignore her completely. It is obvious she was going to miss her train and doesn't have the luxury of any other way of getting to it, even you (probably second in needs here) could have asked for help getting your buggy down the stairs, she had nothing else at all she could do - imagine how frustrating that is every day of your life and lazy people ignoring you?

Perhaps if a station insists on people taking bags in a lift, they should supply more lifts - that is an IABU, I would agree with you on, this one, not so much.

If she pushed in front there would be nothing to say she would catch her train. The lift may have got stuck and she could have been trapped for hours.
That's what goes through my mind when I'm struggling down stairs with child and buggy.
I'd go to all lengths to avoid using a lift as they can and do get stuck.

First issue
Disabled users should always have priority to lifts etc. Anyone who was in the queue who was not disabled and had noticed the disabled woman were being very unreasonable. This is true regardless of whether the woman was polite or rude. I’m amazed that posters think people with disabilities should wait their turn after able bodied people. I’m shocked by that. 🙁

Second Issue
The woman in a wheelchair shouldn’t have been rude and aggressive. Not only is it, well, rude it’s also a dumb way to try and get people to let you go first.

I would always take the lift if I had the pushchaire with me. Its just common sense not to lug a baby, a toddler, bags and afolded pushchair up and down stairs.

If the wheelchair lady had asked poitely if she could go ahead because she was running late for her train, then I'd have had no problem letting her go in front. As I'm sure would everyone else.

She was rude. In this situation her being in a wheelchair didn't prioritise the use of the lift.