To think the lift is for anyone who needs it

[EeyoresEars]

Queuing up to use the lift at a busy station this week. There were about 6-8 people in front of me and I’m not sure how many behind. I waited for lift as I’m pregnant and couldn’t have carried my buggy down the long flight of stairs.

A woman who was using a wheelchair was a couple of people behind me in the queue and I heard her starting to complain, not directed at anyone, just talking loudly so everyone could hear. She kept saying she was going to miss her train because of all the lazy people who should carry their cases down the stairs instead of using the lift.

Then she started complaining about people not carrying buggies down the stairs. I kept ignoring her, as did everyone else, which I think made her more angry. She shouted to a staff member and asked what she was going to do about the lazy people in the queue. The staff member said there isn’t priority access for the lift and it’s safest for people not to carry heavy luggage on stairs if they don’t feel able to. The woman using the wheelchair kept on complaining and saying she was taking it further.

Aibu to think anyone who needs the lift can use it and if you have to queue then that’s just life?

Well I raise all the judgey people this.

Lifts aren't just for disabled people, they're for anyone not physically capable to safely walk down the stairs

OP is pregnant, and carrying a buggy. I don't think it's safe for her to walk down the stairs so why should she give up her space for someone else?

I'm sorry some do you struggle in day to day life, but OP was there first, has as much right as anyone to use the lift, so the women should have just waited.

Unless you all prefer OP to have to move everyone someone more physically impaired then her joins the queue? Or walk down the stairs and risk her life and child's life if she falls?

What made her think everyone else in the queue was lazy? They could have had back/hip/knee problems that prevented them using the stairs.

Carpal tunnel syndrome is relevant if she's trying to wrestle a buggy down stairs!

Lifts are for everyone who wants to use them.

Having said that, this woman sounds like she may have been feeling very anxious and, if she had any manners to begin with, that made them fly out the window. Having travelled with a buggy and two little ones I can´t help but imagine it must be awful on public transport somtimes or even most of the time. Feeling under pressure often means that people do not behave with grace and patience

I would always offer the person who seemed to be in greatest need to get on first, manners or not but everyone is allowed to use the lift, generally speaking. Those with luggage and buggies are encouraged to do so by signs on platforms.

What @Samcro and @WeirdCatLady said.

Yet another thread where people are able to come on and say some pretty disgusting opinions about disabled people. Lovely.

On top of that short list and all the other shit we have to poke up with on a daily basis it's just lovely when mothers with a pretty temporary situation bemoan inconveniences that we have for life whilst simulated having zero comprehension of that or empathy.

I think you (and the other people there) should have let her go first. One day, you won't be pregnant and the SPD will go. She may well be in a wheelchair for the rest of her days.
You see I don’t agree with that.

I have ME. It’s not visible in any shape or form. But I still struggle to go up the stairs generally. So you would see me waiting in that queue with no suitcase.
Does it mean that because I dint have a visible issue, I should let her go first? That somehow her disability is worse than mine?

Struggling with mobility is crap. I know that. It doesn’t mean that you can be rude or can assume that anyone else not in a wheelchair is lazy.
It sounds like she didn’t leave enough time for her train and was stressed out and took her anger out on other people. Again not ok.

The fact she is disabled for life is also not here nor there. Sorry. If you are in pain (eg SPD) then you are in pain. Putting somehow a hierarchy between different type of pain or disability isn’t helping anyone at all.

@runningkeenster thanks for your empathy. It's people like you that stop me despairing about what has happened to society.

The bit that gets me is the assumption that if you're upright on 2 feet you MUST be able bodied and therefore 'lazy' to consider using a lift.

There are many conditions that you can't 'see' and some that until a person moves you wouldn't be able to tell if they have difficulty - how can you judge that in a non-moving queue?

Anyone who needs to use the lift should have equal priority, first come first served but people who can use the stairs should do so and leave the lift for people who need it
You needed it OP so you had as much right to use it as someone in a wheelchair

Obviously as a pregnant woman with a pushchair you should go behind her, because you chose your predicament

That is one of the stupidest things I’ve read on here in a long time. Cringe.

@Mummyoflittledragon many disabilities are invisible. Those with cases, the pregnant OP, and anyone else may have need of a lift for good reason. The wheelchair user was rude and presumptuous.

There's still no excuse for passive aggressive rudeness
No there isn't but try getting around for even one day in wheelchair and see how angry and frustrated you get. Maybe she has tried being polite before and got no where as the saying goes there but for the grace of God go I. Personally if there was someone in a wheelchair waiting for a lift I would always let them on first couldn't care less how rude they were their daily struggle to get around is far greater then mine.

She couldn't go up the stairs, you couldn't go up the stairs. The reasons why you couldn't go up the stairs are irrelevant. There was a que and she was a CF for trying to jump it. The que is supreme in Britain. Supreme!

@Bishop. But OP has just as much right to use the lift as you do and other disabled people do.

No one saying you don't have it tough, and I do have empathy for your predicament but the lift is for anyone who can't physically go down the stairs and that includes OP.

@Supra. But OP has every right to use the lift as she can't go down the stairs either without risking herself and her child's safety.

@Dulra I'd say a week plus to be honest. One day and you know there's an end to it so let some things slide.

@dulra. Is what I meant

@Dulra I used a wheelchair when out and about for almost 3 months and I didn't get angry at or shout at anyone. I did get frustrated about the lack of facilities but wouldn't have taken that out on other people. I'm now in pain everyday and still manage to not shout at people.

I would have let the wheelchair user go on in front of me in most cases

Maybe if the woman had been polite and asked to queue jump if some people were waiting to board a later train she might have been let to the front of the queue.

@siwel123 I'd say in a fire the OP could find other ways. Wheelchair users can't. There's the difference.

I've had SPD when I had a 14 month old and was pregnant with the second. I didn't use it as an excuse to use disabled loos and whilst having to use lifts (so I appreciate the OP's predicament) I would have let a wheelchair user go first. And I wouldn't have sniped about wheelchair users on an Internet forum and started a thread enabling people to call wheelchair users rude and entitled and actually make their lives just that bit harder, thanks.

I also didn't use the wheelchair space on buses. At the time some still had steps so I folded as a matter of course because you didn't know what bus you would get.

In all I didn't use my pregnancy or small children to try and commandeer use of facilities designed for wheelchair users (and I'm aware lifts aren't just for that but as said earlier the widespread piss taking contributes to disabled people's frustration).

And then still bitch about disabled people being rude and entitled.

I'd invite anyone here who doesn't appreciate how wheelchair use can be inconvenient to spend a week with me trying to get around.

I don't look as if I need a lift. One of the reasons I don't look as if I need a lift is that I always, always take a lift when there is one. This means I am no longer in constant pain, and that when I need to, my joints are strong enough to take the stairs without my legs going out from under me halfway down. I love lifts. Moving to a flat with a lift, near a tube station with a lift, literally changed my life.

She was being rude, and abelist (she would not have been able to tell who needed a lift and who didn't just by looking), but I suspect her rudeness was born out of endless frustration of not being able to get where she wants to go because there is never enough lifts/accessible loos/other accessible things. So YANBU, but really, in the big scheme of things, neither was she.

Wow @mummyoflittledragon thanks for that assumption-laden post.

Let’s take each point in turn then.

Spd is painful. But you’re only pregnant. Not disabled. There is a world of difference between disability and a painful pregnancy.

1. SPD can be completely debilitating not only painful. A woman at my physio clinic uses two crutches to walk and is virtually housebound. Please don’t assume you know how severely every person with SPD is affected.

1. Actually I am disabled. I have a chronic autoimmune condition called mixed connective tissue disorder. Feel free to google it if you’re not familiar with it, but I can assure you that it’s very much a disability. I didn’t mention it in my OP as it didn’t seem relevant and because my symptoms are actually better during pregnancy as pregnant women’s immune systems are slightly suppressed.

Carpal tunnel syndrome is in your hand doesn’t apply in this instance.

Carpal tunnel syndrome causes pain and weakness in the hands and wrists. This is very relevant if a person affected is trying to use their hands to carry a buggy containing a small child.

Your attitude shows you really don’t have the first clue about what it is to be disabled.

As above. I am disabled so I have a pretty good idea what it’s like. My disability hasn’t caused me to feel the need to abuse strangers in a train station for having the audacity to also need to use a facility I want access to. If ever I’ve needed to ask for someone to help or make accommodations for me I’ve found asking politely to be the best way forward.

But OP has every right to use the lift as she can't go down the stairs either without risking herself and her child's safety Never said she didn't have a right to use the lift but her onward journey will be easier then the wheelchair users and most likely quicker. Persoanlly I would have let the wheelchair user on first and have done when pregnant and with buggies I feel they take priority over me so I would be happy to hang back and get next lift I don't think their priority depends on how rude or nice they are