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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not let these children use our swimming pool again tomorrow?

123 replies

Lokide92 · 27/06/2018 19:38

We are very fortunate to have a holiday home abroad. We have a pool, our NDNs don't. We have let them use our pool when we are not here. They have family visiting atm with three kids, 11, 8 and 6. They asked yesterday if the kids could have a swim as it was so hot. We stupidly said yes, thought they'd be in for an hour or so, no it was 6 hours. They've been back today. Told them that they can't come tomorrow as we want to relax. I like to sunbathe topless and feel that I can't do this with kids about. We've had friends staying and I want a few days to chill now before going home. Told the neighbours that the pool will be free to use Monday onwards, but they said that's no good as their family will have left too by then. I don't want to fall out, as they live here permanently and do keep an eye on our property, but feel like telling them to fuck off.

OP posts:

84CharingCrossRoad · 27/06/2018 19:40

Your property, your pool, your rules! Don't let them make you feel guilty!

JessambardKingdomBrunel · 27/06/2018 19:40

You should have been clearer, and told them they could use the pool for one hour. You can't expect them to know telepathically if you don't tell them.

If you want to maintain the relationship, then I would let the kids have one hour only in the pool. And specify that that is the time allowed.

HollowTalk · 27/06/2018 19:42

God, no, you are very kind to let them use the pool when you're not there. You'd be an idiot to let them use it when you are there.

Stick to that rule and don't waver!

GruciusMalfoy · 27/06/2018 19:44

It's entirely your choice, and you're obviously not obliged to let them use it. I'd be tempted to say they could swim for an hour between, say, 9 and 10am, if it doesn't affect you. But after that you want peace.

BlackberryandNettle · 27/06/2018 19:45

Your pool, you should have privavy to but enjoy it, but I'd maybe feel generous + give them a time slot so they can plan their day but still have a dip, maybe late afternoon?

BlackberryandNettle · 27/06/2018 19:46

I'd be honest and tell parents you want to chill out naked but it'll be available say 3-6

HermioneWeasley · 27/06/2018 19:47

What’s the point of a holiday home if you can’t enjoy your pool?

donajimena · 27/06/2018 19:47

Oh dear. I agree you could tell them to eff off but in order to foster good neighbourly relationships I also suggest a limit. If they argue with it then its no use of it at all.

Gemini69 · 27/06/2018 19:47

sounds like they use it anyway... when you're not around

Catchuptv · 27/06/2018 19:48

I think they've got a bit of a cheek - what if one of the kids drowned or something while you were there.

OrchidInTheSun · 27/06/2018 19:50

Why don't you tell them they can use it for an hour between 10 and 11. It was very rude of them to stay all day. You're not a hotel complex

WerkSupp · 27/06/2018 19:52

What if someone gets hurt in there or drowns? They will sue the hell out of you. It is pure folly to have allowed them to use it at all.

Original poster

Lokide92 · 27/06/2018 19:54

Yes they do use it when we're not here, and that's fine. The situation where they've had family visiting whilst we're here hasn't arisen before. Wasn't expecting them to ask, and felt sorry for the kids with their pleading faces! Yes, maybe should've specified a time, but I expect people to have manners and decency, and not take the piss.

OP posts:

Oldraver · 27/06/2018 19:55

Told the neighbours that the pool will be free to use Monday onwards, but they said that's no good as their family will have left too by then.

Their only acceptable answer to that woulf be "Thank you" ...Where do people get of being so fucking rude when you're dong them a favour

HollowTalk · 27/06/2018 19:57

I'd be really angry about this, tbh. It's your pool. You're kind enough to let them use it when you're not there, which is presumably a large period of time. And now they're wanting to use it when you are there - it's not on. What's the point in you having that home if you can't enjoy it?

MiddleClassProblem · 27/06/2018 19:57

No, yanbu. You’re entitled to use your property how you want. Just because they help you out doesn’tean they can come and go whenever they please. They get to use the pool when you’re not there and you let them use it on occasion when you are. That’s surely the perk of helping, not just coming whenever they like.

But I do agree you should gave stipulated a rough amount of time they could use the pool for in the first place.

onalongsabbatical · 27/06/2018 19:57

I expect people to have manners and decency, and not take the piss. Interesting. How did you come by this strange and peculiar expectation?

Hissy · 27/06/2018 19:59

“that's no good”???

Cheeky Fucking Fuckers!

Oldraver is absolutely right. The only answer was, thanks very much.

They are twats, entitled and ignorant twats at that

Mrsharrison · 27/06/2018 20:00

It's give and take here. They look out for your property when you're not there which is a godsend.
I would definitely not burn bridges with these people.
And the family are going monday.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/06/2018 20:01

They are rude and ungrateful. If you’d said you were going to be out for the whole day that might have been fair enough.

halfwitpicker · 27/06/2018 20:01

but I expect people to have manners and decency, and not take the piss

Yeah, people don't. Not any more.

halfwitpicker · 27/06/2018 20:02

They actually uttered the word' that's no good we leave on monday'

I'd have just responded with a and not said anything

TammySwansonTwo · 27/06/2018 20:04

The fucking nerve!

Just say you need a few days of peace and quiet, and they’re welcome to use your pool when you’re not around, but when you’re there it’s not to be used.

I wouldn’t cave and give them an hour slot as they’ve already proven that they’re CFs and I guarantee they won’t leave. You have to be firm with people like this.

givemesteel · 27/06/2018 20:06

If you let them use your pool whilst you're not there which must be 40+ weeks a tear presumably, they have waaaay more to lose than you do. So I don't think you need to worry about falling out with them.

I would just send them a friendly text saying you're more than happy for them to continue using the pool when you're not there but when you are you want to have the privacy of the property to yourself... Say I'm sure you'll understand that's why we bought our own holiday home etc etc

Tbh it's their fault for taking the piss and letting their kids be in your hair for 6 hours, when the polite thing to do would be to go for a quick swim then get out your way.

Flobalob · 27/06/2018 20:09

Just say that you and your other half are feeling hirny and want to have sex in the pool tomorrow and you didn't think it would be appropriate for the kids to be around to see that.

It'll put them off ever wanting to use your pool ever again!

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