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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let these children use our swimming pool again tomorrow?

123 replies

Lokide92 · 27/06/2018 19:38

We are very fortunate to have a holiday home abroad. We have a pool, our NDNs don't. We have let them use our pool when we are not here. They have family visiting atm with three kids, 11, 8 and 6. They asked yesterday if the kids could have a swim as it was so hot. We stupidly said yes, thought they'd be in for an hour or so, no it was 6 hours. They've been back today. Told them that they can't come tomorrow as we want to relax. I like to sunbathe topless and feel that I can't do this with kids about. We've had friends staying and I want a few days to chill now before going home. Told the neighbours that the pool will be free to use Monday onwards, but they said that's no good as their family will have left too by then. I don't want to fall out, as they live here permanently and do keep an eye on our property, but feel like telling them to fuck off.

OP posts:
Copperbonnet · 27/06/2018 20:44

We have a pool.

They are expensive to build and to maintain.

I absolutely wouldn’t let my neighbours and their guests use it.

They knew they were having guests, why didn’t they buy an above ground swimming pool or large paddling pool for the children?

Personally I’d have sent them home? Why did you put up with them for 6 hours? I hope they weren’t in and out your home for the loo?

Griefbacon · 27/06/2018 20:44

If you feel bad then let them use for a specified time but say you’re sure they must appreciate you need your downtime in peace

Griefbacon · 27/06/2018 20:46

It shouldn’t be assumed. That’s the thing

jemmstar1980 · 27/06/2018 20:46

You don’t need to explain why - just simply say No and that when you are NOT there you are happy for them to use the pool.

Letting them come for an hour is a slippery slope as they will expect a ‘slot’ every day forever more when you are there.

They’ve invited their friends with the line “we can use the neighbours pool - it will be lovely” and now you are there.....

BackforGood · 27/06/2018 20:50

Yes, maybe should've specified a time, but I expect people to have manners and decency, and not take the piss.

Think being, it isn't rude, or lack of manners, it is just different expectations. It I were on holiday, and had access to a pool (as you say they do for about 40 weeks a year) then I would expect to be by it all day and my dc would be in and out of it all day.

You did need to say "well, OK, just for an hour then, as usually I don't let other people use it when I am here" or "No, sorry, the arrangement is you can use it when I'm not here - which, tbf is 4/5 of the year". If you said they could use it, and didn't say for a particular time, I wouldn't expect them to not use it, IYSWIM.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/06/2018 20:50

Ok that puts a different spin on things. They don’t use it much.

Are you planning on going out in the day at all? If you are I’d tell them they can use it from x to y time.

Perhaps suggest that they liaise with you next time to ensure this doesn’t happen again.

KarmaStar · 27/06/2018 20:51

They have as much to lose by you do here op,i.e. You say no more pool use when I'm not here.so don't be afraid to be firm!it IS your pool.
Say you have plan's it is inconvenient.end of.
Enjoy your day chilling without any guilty feelings!

Guiltypleasures001 · 27/06/2018 20:56

My main worry op is you being sued if someone drowns or is hurt
You've given permission so unless your insured against its something to
Consider

Returnofthesmileybar · 27/06/2018 20:56

You realise tomorrow you'll be lying down, boobs out, relaxing and all you'll be listening to is:

But wwhhhyyyyyyyy can't be swim moans all day long!

So be prepared and bring your headphones and a bottle of wine Wink

JuneFromBethesda · 27/06/2018 20:57

Personally I’d have sent them home? Why did you put up with them for 6 hours?

That's what I was wondering. A friendly smile and a nice firm 'ok, I'll need you out of the pool in 15 minutes please' after an hour (or two, if you're feeling generous) would have done the job.

halfwitpicker · 27/06/2018 20:58

Stop being so bloody British about this! Just say no, move on.

Cfs are not your problem.

halfwitpicker · 27/06/2018 20:59

Is there a beach nearby? Waterpark?

hamandpease · 27/06/2018 20:59

Was the 'that's not good enough' perhaps ruder than meant because of a language barrier? It's still outrageous...

DashingRed · 27/06/2018 21:01

Cheeky twats.

Tell them that whilst you appreciate that they keep an eye on your property whilst you're not there, they also have a very good arrangement going as they have free use of the pool and therefore probably use it more than you do!

However, on this occasion it is not up for use by them or their family as YOU want to use it and do not want children or random strangers there. I would also point out that you allowed them 6 hours of use today which they have not thanked you for. They clearly see this pool as their property and they need putting straight on that.

Honestly, I would be fucking seething.

ReservoirDogs · 27/06/2018 21:02

I'm with the previous poster regarding liability for personal injury or death! Are you insured?

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/06/2018 21:04

Cheeky buggers. No swimming in your pool until you’ve left. They had a chance to be pleasant and they’ve chosen to take the piss.

agnurse · 27/06/2018 21:05

You might need to create a rule that they need to ask first and that there is a time limit.

I would also check with your insurance before letting them use the pool when you're not there. In some jurisdictions, if something happens in your yard with your pool - even if you're not there - you could be held liable. Your insurance agent will be able to tell you more.

AlexaAmbidextra · 27/06/2018 21:05

This so often happens doesn’t it? You do something nice for someone and for a short time they’re grateful. But there is then a change in their mindset and the good deed becomes an entitlement.

FatBarry · 27/06/2018 21:06

The family appear to have come to stay with the expectation that they would have unlimited access to YOUR pool, otherwise why wouldn't they have rented a car. What else is there to do? If the kids are bored the parents need to entertain them, two runs to the beach, long walks, kicking a ball around.

No your problem, I think they are CFuckers.

Danceintherain2018 · 27/06/2018 21:07

Maybe let them have an hour soemwhen when you're out! :)

Tomatoesrock · 27/06/2018 21:08

I would not arrange another hour for tomorrow, they have had lots of time already. If you are in a sunny holiday resort I am sure there are other out door pools they can use.

Enjoy your day of peace, totally naked if you like.

Original poster
Lokide92 · 27/06/2018 21:08

The kids are actually very nice and did go home for snacks, drinks and loo (I hope), but were soon back again. They've been told that's it for this visit, and I'm sticking to that. Not worth falling out with NDNs who do help us out. I've had a few glasses of wine now, so feeling much calmer Wine. DH not getting poolside sex tomorrow though!

OP posts:
DashingRed · 27/06/2018 21:12

I'd have cracked and told them to go home after an hour, however nice they were.

Bet they pee'd in the pool too

Original poster
Lokide92 · 27/06/2018 21:12

Will also check out insurance implications, and that may be a good way to stop all use. Oh dear, no good deed goes unpunished.

OP posts:
OrchidInTheSun · 27/06/2018 21:25

Oh they were totally relying on you not being there. Really shot themselves in the foot if your insurance company tells you you're not covered. Cheeky buggers

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