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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not let these children use our swimming pool again tomorrow?

123 replies

Lokide92 · 27/06/2018 19:38

We are very fortunate to have a holiday home abroad. We have a pool, our NDNs don't. We have let them use our pool when we are not here. They have family visiting atm with three kids, 11, 8 and 6. They asked yesterday if the kids could have a swim as it was so hot. We stupidly said yes, thought they'd be in for an hour or so, no it was 6 hours. They've been back today. Told them that they can't come tomorrow as we want to relax. I like to sunbathe topless and feel that I can't do this with kids about. We've had friends staying and I want a few days to chill now before going home. Told the neighbours that the pool will be free to use Monday onwards, but they said that's no good as their family will have left too by then. I don't want to fall out, as they live here permanently and do keep an eye on our property, but feel like telling them to fuck off.

OP posts:

Branleuse · 27/06/2018 20:10

could you offer them to use it for an hour in the morning or something?
You really really dont want to burn bridges if they keep an eye on your property while you are not there, althogh i dont think youre unreasonable either - I think they are really, but keeping an eye on your house and a friend in the village is quite a massive thing, considering how often holiday homes are targetted

Juells · 27/06/2018 20:12

I'd empty the pool when I'm not there, it's too dangerous to leave it full while away.

Tistheseason17 · 27/06/2018 20:12

There are simply too many CFs around at the mo!

eurochick · 27/06/2018 20:15

Juelis do you realise how much it costs to fill a pool? Not to mention the waste of water from emptying it regularly.

Gemini69 · 27/06/2018 20:15

is the pool gated off for safety... personally I'd empty the ruddy thing Monday... lol

AnyFucker · 27/06/2018 20:15

Who maintains the pool when you are not there ?

Bobswife39 · 27/06/2018 20:16

I think you are being MTR letting them use it when you are not there, if you want to relax by your pool with some privacy then that's your privilege.

SamHeughansLeftEyebrow · 27/06/2018 20:16

Did they actually say 'that's no good'?

Surely any reasonable person would understand you saying that you will also be going home by then and want a couple of days to relax without others round your pool.

Is there a time you know you will be going out that you could offer them for an hour or two?

Gemini69 · 27/06/2018 20:16

I wouldn't care about the cost... I wouldn't want the neighbours using my property as their own.. and wee'ing freely in my Pool...

Bibesia · 27/06/2018 20:19

If waiting till Monday is no good for them, they'll have to do what everyone else does and go to a public pool. There's no reason why the last few days of your holiday should be spoilt.

Juells · 27/06/2018 20:20

in my Pool...

I think the problem here is that (in their minds) it's become 'their' pool, since they have the use of it all year when the OP isn't there.

That's why I'd drain it. Establish ownership without having to have a confrontation. It's one thing to use someone's pool with permission while they're away, another thing to demand access when the owner is there on a few weeks' holiday.

They're being CFs.

BrexitWife · 27/06/2018 20:25

Theyve got a bit too used to be able to access your pool whenever they want.....
Youll have to make it clear that when you are there, they can’t have access to the pool

busybarbara · 27/06/2018 20:27

I would go with the grossing out approach someone else mentioned. It might be embarrassing but if you and your DP go topless when you're ready to use the area yourself it'll scare them away.

Bahhhhhumbug · 27/06/2018 20:30

Their answer that, that's no good is up there with the most Cfery l have ever heard on here. They are making or trying to make you feel guilty about wanting to enjoy your own pool in effect and without three strangers kids running round dive bombing /screaming/whatever in it. Cheeky twats, please please just say no they are becoming territorial about YOUR pool because they have been given too much free rein of it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/06/2018 20:31

“that’s no good”. Cheeky fuckers. Bet you feel like telling them to build their own pool if that’s no good.

You’re in your holiday home having flown there perhaps? The rules are they have use of it when you are not there. You’ve been more than kind and frankly enough is enough. They can go to the local pool of buy a paddling pool like everyone else.

Original poster

Lokide92 · 27/06/2018 20:31

We have a pool company come and do a weekly clean, monitor chemical levels etc. It's in our garden which is fenced off and gate locked, pool company have a key. NDNs can get in from their property via adjoining fence. It is handy as when weather is bad they do check for damage etc. They also get a few bits of shopping in if we're arriving late, so not all bad.
Going to keep to no use until Monday, and will have a chat when I've calmed down a bit. I think they're stressed with kids in the hot weather, and their visitors haven't hired a car, so they're stuck at home because NDNs car too small for 6 people to go out together.

OP posts:

Bahhhhhumbug · 27/06/2018 20:34

I bet they don't pay a contribution tk the weekly pool company. Surely this frequency wouldn't be necessary if you weren't kind enough to let your neighbours use it so regularly.

Mrsharrison · 27/06/2018 20:34

So they're going stir crazy?
I would lend them the pool at a time convenient to you.
Their response was rude but they do you favours.
I feel sorry for the children.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/06/2018 20:35

I expect the plan was to swim in your pool every day and you’ve scuppered it by being mean enough to come and take ownership of your property.

Your neighbour can drive their friend to the local car hire place and pick up a car or get one delivered. Failing that, taxis or buses. Simple. They’re hardly helpless and forced to stay in the house.

Earlybird · 27/06/2018 20:36

You are doing the a favour, and are not obligated in any way to make your pool available to them. It may be that they need to find another way to entertain their grandkids for a day or two.

If you think it could get tricky, you could offer to let them use the pool for a specific 'window' of time (an hour or two - when it suits YOU) instead of having an open-ended invitation which they could take advantage of (as they did when they stayed for 6 hours the other day).

Hissy · 27/06/2018 20:37

Ha ha, so the CF neighbours have got CF visitors?

WallisFrizz · 27/06/2018 20:37

You’re absolutely not bu to deny them access to the pool until you have gone home. However expect that they will no longer check on your place, get you shopping in etc.

Weigh it up if it’s worth it. Maybe pay a local to do these jobs instead with no expectation of pool use.

Littlechocola · 27/06/2018 20:39

It’s your pool. They are really lucky that you let them use it at all.

Original poster

Lokide92 · 27/06/2018 20:42

It's NDNs son and kids, they're only here for 4 days, so possibly did plan to use our pool, as we normally don't come until July. I don't think the couple use it much during the rest of the year, only when they have kids over visiting.

OP posts:

eddielizzard · 27/06/2018 20:42

well if they help you out in general i would try to keep things amicable. but using your pool for 6 hours is taking advantage. did they really expect to be able to do that every day?!

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