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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not let these children use our swimming pool again tomorrow?

123 replies

Lokide92 · 27/06/2018 19:38

We are very fortunate to have a holiday home abroad. We have a pool, our NDNs don't. We have let them use our pool when we are not here. They have family visiting atm with three kids, 11, 8 and 6. They asked yesterday if the kids could have a swim as it was so hot. We stupidly said yes, thought they'd be in for an hour or so, no it was 6 hours. They've been back today. Told them that they can't come tomorrow as we want to relax. I like to sunbathe topless and feel that I can't do this with kids about. We've had friends staying and I want a few days to chill now before going home. Told the neighbours that the pool will be free to use Monday onwards, but they said that's no good as their family will have left too by then. I don't want to fall out, as they live here permanently and do keep an eye on our property, but feel like telling them to fuck off.

OP posts:

echt · 27/06/2018 21:35

Apart from the insurance, is your pool safe for the legal standards of where you live?

I say this because for instance, in Australia, there are rumblings that all pools will have to conform to new safety standards no matter when they were built, e.g. retro-fitted for safety. It hasn't happened yet, but laws do change.

Copperbonnet · 27/06/2018 21:51

We’re their parents with them Loki? Or was it six hours of unsupervised children?

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/06/2018 05:12

Good point the 6 you needs supervision!

Aus84 · 28/06/2018 05:26

Are their any liability issues if one of the children were to be injured using your pool when you are not there?

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 28/06/2018 06:07

I think you are very generous letting them use the pool when you aren’t there - after all you’re the one paying for the upkeep and maintenance. Say they are welcome of course to continue using the pool when you aren’t there, but you want to be able to use it exclusively when you are. Don’t bend from this, they’re overstepping hugely by trying to guilt you into sharing.

If you sell, their new neighbours are unlikely to be so accommodating.

Barbaro · 28/06/2018 06:08

Tell them to build their own damn pool if 'that's not good enough'. CFs.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 28/06/2018 06:09

if you are unhappy about continuing with the arrangement then yyy to telling them you have discovered your insurance doesn’t cover them and so you will have to ask them not to use it in future.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 28/06/2018 06:14

“That’s no good” are the words of cheeky entitled fuckers! You allow them to use the pool as a courtesy. It’s not their right. Time they were reminded of this.?

RiddleyW · 28/06/2018 06:16

I'm with the previous poster regarding liability for personal injury or death! Are you insured?

Are you a lawyer in OP’s jurisdiction?

hooochycoo · 28/06/2018 06:20

Jeez, mumsnet amazes me. Drain a pool to stop neighbourly neighbours (who help you out ) using something that sits unused the majority of the time? You are a bunch of selfish horrors.

dundermiflin · 28/06/2018 06:21

So they want to use your pool when you're not there and when you are there? They should have purchased a house with a pool. Cheeky as fuck. What's the point of a holiday house if you can't enjoy it.

ArsenalsPlayingAtHome · 28/06/2018 06:28

YANBU!

Short & sweet

KeiTeNgeNge · 28/06/2018 06:34

Yes hold your boundaries as they’re being a bit bloody cheeky

emmyrose2000 · 28/06/2018 06:36

Told the neighbours that the pool will be free to use Monday onwards, but they said that's no good as their family will have left too by then

Jenasaurus · 28/06/2018 06:51

Well the weather isn't looking good for today so they may not ask to use the pool but if they do, just tell them "I am sorry but we want some time to relax today" Be firm and keep repeating it. They are taking advantage of your generous nature if they keep insisting. Quite rude of them really. Why cant they take them to the local swimming baths?

Juells · 28/06/2018 09:59

@hooochycoo

Jeez, mumsnet amazes me. Drain a pool to stop neighbourly neighbours (who help you out ) using something that sits unused the majority of the time? You are a bunch of selfish horrors.

No, drain a pool to stop CFs who now think that the pool is theirs, because they've been allowed to use it when the owners aren't there. Plus there's a public liability risk. If they had visitors with small children and one of them had an accident, the OP could be liable because she gave permission for them to be on her premises. I've had a house with a swimming pool, and it was a bloody nightmare.

Mrsharrison · 28/06/2018 10:44

Jeez, mumsnet amazes me. Drain a pool to stop neighbourly neighbours (who help you out ) using something that sits unused the majority of the time? You are a bunch of selfish horrors.

I agree. The older I get the more I see a general attitude of mean mindedness in society.
"I'll allow it as long as it doesn't inconvenience me."
I see more generosity from folk who are so poor they rely on soup banks.

UtterlyDesperate · 28/06/2018 10:50

How much do you pay them for keeping an eye on your property the rest of the year, and for getting your shopping etc? And how much would it cost you to pay a professional service for this?

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 28/06/2018 10:52

Its almost like people who live near holiday homes don’t have the use of public pools or public transport .

Realistically, how much do they ‘check’ the property and how much are they just using the pool? About as often as when my neighbours water my hanging basket when I’m away I’d reckon.

The milk of human kindness tends to dry up when a favour becomes an expectation on the person that is being generous. They don’t have a right to use your pool even when you’re not there but you let them. I wouldn’t want them there while I’m there either.

badg3r · 28/06/2018 13:20

I would tell them you felt a bit taken advantage of yesterday because they stayed for 6h and it is your holiday too. But that they can use it from say 4-6.

Copperbonnet · 28/06/2018 13:41

Mrsharrison would you allow your neighbour’s kids to spend six hours in your garden on a sunny afternoon, running about and screaming, when you were planning to sit out with your book and enjoy the nice weather?

No? Not even if their Mum watered your plants while you were on holiday?

Mrsharrison · 28/06/2018 14:01

Copper no I wouldn't, not for 6 hours. But I never said op should offer them 6 hours. I said she could specify a time.

I'm surprised at posters who suggest she empty her pool.

The idea of being a good neighbour has gone out of the window. It used to be "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."

Now it's just the nuclear family keeping itself to itself - little tolerance for anyone, especially for children.

Copperbonnet · 28/06/2018 14:09

I don’t think that’s what’s being demonstrated on this thread at all Mrsharrison.

The OP had a perfectly cordial and mutually beneficial arrangement with her neighbours right up until
the moment the neighbours took advantage of her generosity.

I would never recommend draining the pool (it would constitute a safety hazard and be expensive and time consuming to refill) but I do agree that when people use you as a doormat you shouldn’t just lie there and let it continue.

This issue has not come about by people withdrawing to their own nuclear family.

This issue came about because the neighbours have no manners.

Mrsharrison · 28/06/2018 14:14

Well it works both ways. The neighbours may feel put upon looking after op's house and doing her shopping.

Maybe op should pay a management company to look after the place so she can enjoy complete solitude and not be beholden to anyone.

Copperbonnet · 28/06/2018 14:28

The neighbours may feel put upon looking after op's house and doing her shopping.

Well possibly MrsHarrison but the appropriate reaction to feeling unhappy with the arrangement is not to let a bunch of kids run riot for 6 hours when the owner is in residence.

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