to ask what DH does that really fucks you off?

[martapolska2]

But not to the point where you will LTB.

My DH insists on chucking all his beer can in the black bin and not a recycle bin!

Snoring

Forgot - thinks my nipples are a personal stress toy

I do all the night waking with (breastfed, won't settle after a bottle) DS and DH takes him away to let me get some proper, peaceful, uninterrupted sleep at weekends.

But not before he plays with DS (loudly) for fucking ages right next to me in bed when I just. Want. Sleep.

If he has a cold it is the flu he has never had the flu , if he has a headache it is a migraine he does not get migraine ever and if he feels slightly ff colour has the most pathetic 'I'm not well' act that makes me want to punch him. (It involves a woe is me look, constant sniffling and a handful of tissues, makes sighing noises as if everything is a strain, sort of shuffles in exhaustion and then says quietly 'I don't think I'm very well' )

DP does around 75% of all the things already mentioned. But he does have a couple of his own:

takes his socks off during the evening and leaves them on the living room floor, where they will remain unless I take them upstairs and put them in the laundry basket

gets toothpaste on the outside of the bathroom sink

ignores my directions when I'm navigating and he's driving

overfeeds the dog

Squeezes tubes from the middle. Every tube. Even tomato puree ones which means half is wasted. Drives me mad!

Puts empty cereal boxes back in the cupboard. Just why??!

Nothing everything he is a delight! massive faffer he is so sweet only does half a job and i love him dearly want to set his testicles on fire

If he finds something that's dusty, he either wipes the dust off it with his hand or he blows the dust into the air. I have told him to get a wipe or duster and clean it properly - falls on deaf ears (and he's the one with asthma...).

“Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”. Oh how true this is!
Married to DH for 28yrs and the list just gets longer...
Never puts the lid back on the toothpaste
Never puts a new toilet roll on the holder, leaves it on top
Says “I’ve brought YOUR washing in”
Never puts stuff in the dishwasher, leaves it on top of worktop
Scrapes and scrapes his empty plate until there’s no glaze left on it
Inability to see dirt or mess

Far too many to mention, I’d be here all night. But I still love him!

Saying “lay” not “lie”

You can hear him eat from about 3 miles away

Rewards the dog with love when it’s yelping for attention

Puts his arm in front of my face when I’m trying to watch TV next to him!

Won’t tell me what he wants to eat/what food he want and then asks what’s in for him to eat Nothing is the answer mate, coz you didn’t ”want” anything!

imavinit
^

Actually howling

Thinks wiping the kitchen worktops and hoovering the floors is all the housework.

Makes terrible noises when eating at home ,which I couldn’t do if I tried but if he is in a restaurant or company he doesn’t do it .??

He makes so much fucking noise! He just woke me up at 2am by swearing at the top of his voice at whatever stupid computer game he's playing. I need to be up for work in 5 hours and I need to fucking sleep! RAGE

Whenever I tell him what's for dinner, he says he doesn't want it. Then I ask him what he does want and he says, "ooh, something light'. I then ask him what 'something light' means and he says he doesn't really know.

We have been having this conversation daily for 16 years!!!

DH doesn't believe in limiting kids junk food. Works away and brings home insane amounts of candy from his travels. Kids are active/not in poor health but it still winds me up!

Another thing that really winds me up is when he asks me where his card is ( bank,visa ).
Like I would know where it is or I’ve got it in my bag.I wouldn’t mind if he had any money in it hahahahaha, he’s has about £5 in it.lol

AgentCooper my DP does the same! So annoying. He also plays with baby DS loudly if I'm reading the older children a bedtime story so I have to read louder and louder.

Snores while I try to bf the baby back to sleep. Gets annoyed when I wake him up if he's snoring as he 'needs to sleep'. Hasn't attempted to do anything about the snoring in the decade-plus we've been together.

Overexcites the children before bed EVERY NIGHT. Starts tickling them or something just as we're about to eat/go out/leave somewhere etc leaving me to be the adult trying to cajole them all to doing the boring but necessary thing while he gets to be Fun Dad.

Doesn't squash anything or clean it out before putting it in the recycling, and screws lids back onto bottles meaning that I end up standing by the outside wheelie bin squashing/sorting every fucking item before putting it in.

Listing every household job he's ever done on completion of one task, with a self-congratulatory air, like I never do anything or that the things I've done are beneath comment but obviously his deserve a fucking medal.

Prioritising doing the gardening or another non-essential task that 'needs doing' above taking baby DS so I can have a shower without having to take him into the bathroom with me every time. He has never once had to take a baby into the bathroom with him.

Doesn't look at the phone which has Google maps running if I'm driving, but talks over the spoken instructions so I have no clue where I'm going. Claims to not require directions from a phone when he is driving but gets irritated if I don't know which exit is ours at roundabouts.

Never knows what time the DC's clubs finish. Same time as they've finished since September!

He does do his fair share overall but it fuck me off that I'm expected to do all of the DC admin. They'd never go to a single party or go to school in a fancy dress costume if I didn't keep track of this stuff.

Wow that was long

So many of the above.

But the weirdest one is not doing up his flies when he's at home. The trousers are up but the flies are just open. I've asked about it multiple times and he says he forgets. HOW?? How can anyone forget that?? He claims he alway does them up when he's at work, but I'm not so sure. Seriously, we've had fights over this.

He leaves things till the last minute and if I tell him I'm working late he'll also work late rather than going home and playing with the cat or doing something useful. Not that I really do anything useful on all the days when I'm home before him. I do play with the cat so she's not a terror later though.

Doesn't push his chair in when he's finished at the table. Gives me the rage!

Requires constant management to get anything meaningful done

Says things like ‘is it okay if I use the toilet’ As if I’m his fucking boss/mother/owner

Forgets important stuff to do with the kids in the vein of ‘needing managment’

Will quite happily do nothing, meaning mornings where I lie in, I have to get up and do a load of chores before we can go out, when he lies in I simply do the chores before hand so we can go out when he gets up.

But he is awesome

Snoring. We're getting better at dealing with it, I think. I say we, because it feels like a team effort to get him to lay in a position that means he won't snore in my ear all night.

Overloading the dishwasher so that nothing washes properly. My God. He accuses me of under-loading, I get so angry when he puts too much in and then I end up having to wash the dried on scum off plates / glasses etc.

His lack of motivation / enthusiasm when it comes to anything but cooking. I want a DIY-lover, God damn it, as well as someone who cooks me dinner every night. Is that too much to ask? (Okay, maybe it is.)

Doesn't seem to understand that one needs to wipe the sides over in the kitchen, otherwise kitchen becomes a legit health hazard.

I could go on!