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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH is too committed!

125 replies

piterdevries · 27/06/2018 10:17

Not to family life, or work, or the house. No, he is dedicated to his warhammer hobby.

Last night, I feel him stirring at around midnight. He goes off and I hear bathroom light go on. I am a light sleeper so after 30 mins aware he hasn't come back.

After knocking gently on door, I let my self in (lock is type you can turn with coin from other side. Good for young DCs!). There his is, wobbed out on the toilet holding some sort of plastic vehicle with a pot of the glue that DH must have knocked over all over the lino. I shake him and he blurts out something sounding like 'peach body oil' and drops the little car, which breaks much to my delight!

Now, I hate the smell of the glue and I dont like DG indulging this hobby when we are sharing quality time in front of telly etc so I admire his commitment to his hobby in a weird way but he hasn't shown this level of commitment to anything else (housework would be nice lol). I thought once we had DCs he would leave all this juvenile stuff behind and be like a normal person

OP posts:
brownpaperbox · 27/06/2018 10:24

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AragonsGirl · 27/06/2018 10:25

I too am a Warhammer widow! I quite often go to bed, expecting hubby to follow, only for him still to be up painting at 2am! I haven’t found him gluing things while in the loo though...yet!

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 27/06/2018 10:26

Lots of adults play Warhammer.

ToothTrauma · 27/06/2018 10:27

Why can’t he do it while you’re watching tv? I cross stitch while watching tv. DH paints his little men. What’s the difference?

steff13 · 27/06/2018 10:27

I've never found sitting and staring at the television together to be quality time. Seems like he could both paint/build (is it models?) watch TV at the same time.

MartagonLilies · 27/06/2018 10:27

Why can't he do it in the evening, in front of the telly? It's not really quality time, staring at a screen Confused. If it's the conversation you like, it's possible to paint and talk.

SugarIsAmazing · 27/06/2018 10:28

If you're watching a film why can't he do his hobby whilst you watch? He's probably watching the film thinking "we could either have sex right now or I could do my hobby!"

MartagonLilies · 27/06/2018 10:30

Also I think the hatred some adults have for others hobby is bloody annoying.
It's fine to like Warhammer / computer games / colouring books etc. Adults are allowed to have some fun little escape time too

lifechangesforever · 27/06/2018 10:33

We have a whole warhammer room! It keeps him quiet, he spends his money on what he wants and he enjoys it.

Don't know what the problem is really? Is he not entitled to enjoy a hobby - even more so, one that means he doesn't have to commit to m being out of the house several evenings or weekends?

lifechangesforever · 27/06/2018 10:34

Also, being in front of a TV isn't 'quality time'

BrutusMcDogface · 27/06/2018 10:36

I don't really get the op. Was he doing it in his sleep, or something? It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 27/06/2018 10:38

The OP won't let her husband build his warhammer model kits, so he's doing it at night in the toilet.

That's literally it.

Storm4star · 27/06/2018 10:40

I actually feel sorry for him! I have loads of "kids" stuff I do. Adult lego, adult colouring books, various crafts, puzzle books, etc etc. I hate sitting mindlessly in front of the TV! Sometimes I will watch something specific but I wouldn't want to spend every night doing it. My ex always used to make me "watch" things with him, usually crap I didn't like. It was one of the reasons we broke up.

Frankenterfer · 27/06/2018 10:43

Falling asleep on the toilet building miniatures 😂

Tabletop gaming widow here and I think I understand where you're coming from on the dedication front, the issue isn't the hobby, for me it's the fact that it gets all the energy and attention. We regularly sit in front of the telly with him with his painting tray out, doesn't bother me at all, he enjoys it and it's his social outlet.

What does frustrate me is that he can get so enthusiastic about that, organise things with his mates etc but when it comes to our life together, he leaves it all to me. He's a very hands on dad and great partner and I know it's hard to get excited about remembering dental appointments but using his initiative to arrange a day out for us all or something would be great!

FASH84 · 27/06/2018 10:43

Oh bless him, there are much worse things than a Warhammer hobby, my DH isn't into Warhammer but D&D, so also paints tiny creatures etc. I actually play with him now once a month with friends it is actually quite fun, he also has a weekly group he plays with, and he paints while I read, plan my gardening or do other things. We still talk at the same time, more so than if we were both vegging out in front of the TV. YABU , he's entitled to a hobby.

FASH84 · 27/06/2018 10:46

@Frankenterfer I feel that pain, DH is also a table top gamer (we play some together) he will watch you tube videos of people playing games! He doesn't remember appointments so I send him calendar reminders to his phone. He's a great partner and very hands on in lots of ways, he's just not brilliantly organised, but he wasn't before the D&D and table top games, so I can't blame them!

Littlelambpeep · 27/06/2018 10:46

I'd leave him at it. He isn't harming anyone.
Infact, I'd but him a kit and tell him to relax and enjoy it.

Littlelambpeep · 27/06/2018 10:46

Buy

strawberrypenguin · 27/06/2018 10:46

YABU and a bit mean. You are 'delighted' that something your DH enjoys broke and you won't let him carry out his hobby in the evening because watching TV is more important.
Why can't he make models/ paint figures in the room while the TV is on. I knit in front of the TV and DH potters with his hobby sometimes too.

Cath2907 · 27/06/2018 10:47

Poor guy - why can't he paint in front of the TV with you in the evening? You sound like a pain in the butt "watch Eastenders with me or I'll be lonely!!"

Seryph · 27/06/2018 10:52

Sorry OP, YADBU.
We are a warhammer house here, I don't play but I love to paint the models. DP plays and paints. We also play Magic the Gathering, and right now there are six games consoles attached to my TV. Shortly, I shall drag him outside to play Pokemon Go.

You should have a go, painting the models is fun!

TheMythicalChicken · 27/06/2018 10:53

To be fair, I can often be found Mumsnetting at 2 am Blush. That's my hobby. I don't think your DH is doing any harm, life is hard. We all need a bit of escapism.

KidLorneRoll · 27/06/2018 10:54

Errr....

"There his is, wobbed out on the toilet holding some sort of plastic vehicle with a pot of the glue that DH must have knocked over all over the lino. I shake him and he blurts out something sounding like 'peach body oil' and drops the little car, which breaks much to my delight! "

Nobody else spotting the actual issue here, that a man is locked in the bathroom, passed out with a pot of glue in his hand? I'd be thinking there is another addiction other than warhammer here.

DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews · 27/06/2018 10:54

I feel a bit sorry for your husband. I agree it's a bit much to get up from bed to do it but if you take delight in something he's spent time and care on breaking and consider quality time as being in front of the tv so he shouldn't do it then, I actually think he's very considerate of you and deserves to be left to it in peace sometimes.

blackteasplease · 27/06/2018 10:55

I think he should be able to do it in front of the tv. If it's impacting on his actual role in the family that's one thing but taking away from tv time is a silly complaint.