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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH is too committed!

125 replies

piterdevries · 27/06/2018 10:17

Not to family life, or work, or the house. No, he is dedicated to his warhammer hobby.

Last night, I feel him stirring at around midnight. He goes off and I hear bathroom light go on. I am a light sleeper so after 30 mins aware he hasn't come back.

After knocking gently on door, I let my self in (lock is type you can turn with coin from other side. Good for young DCs!). There his is, wobbed out on the toilet holding some sort of plastic vehicle with a pot of the glue that DH must have knocked over all over the lino. I shake him and he blurts out something sounding like 'peach body oil' and drops the little car, which breaks much to my delight!

Now, I hate the smell of the glue and I dont like DG indulging this hobby when we are sharing quality time in front of telly etc so I admire his commitment to his hobby in a weird way but he hasn't shown this level of commitment to anything else (housework would be nice lol). I thought once we had DCs he would leave all this juvenile stuff behind and be like a normal person

OP posts:

LoveInTokyo · 27/06/2018 14:35

Its the enthusiasm for it that gets me, I love DH but if he stopped pouring so much effort into a nerdy hobby and more into say his work he may have got another promotion by now, or maybe into the home so we could have a nicer house.

Well that's the thing about hobbies. They're not work. They're something you do, to relax, when you're not at work, because you want to and for no other reason.

I do appreciate its a hobby that means he is around and not away, but its hardly one I can mention to friends, not like if he played five a side or something. There is a reason warhammer wasn't liked by the popular kids at school

WTF. Who cares whether his hobby is something you can talk about to your friends or not? You have hobbies because you enjoy them, not because they give off the right image as far as your shallow spouse is concerned.

This is part of who he is, and if you don't love him the way he is then maybe you should have gotten to know him a bit better before you married him.

ChimesAtMidnight · 27/06/2018 14:36

we are sharing quality time in front of telly
I stopped reading at this point.

LimeCheesecaker · 27/06/2018 14:46

Ifonlyus didn’t you see the part where OP was delighted his model got smashed? What a nasty bitch. If this is real.

strawberrypenguin · 27/06/2018 14:49

Wow your next post makes you sound even worse. Completely agree that if a woman was being treated they way you seem to be treating your DH they'd have a thread full of LTB by now.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/06/2018 14:52

There is a reason warhammer wasn't liked by the popular kids at school

Methinks the OP may still be at school.

RafikiIsTheBest · 27/06/2018 14:54

Another one here who's DP enjoys warhammer. He's been doing it on and off for years.
I've never played, but do enjoy painting the models every now and then and agree it's something which is easy to do whilst watching tv, listening to an audiobook or chatting.
I have no issues with DP doing this hobby, but do get annoyed when he does this hobby or other hobbies to the detriment of other things like eating healthy meals, tidying up after himself, or doing his fair share at home. I'm his partner, not his mother and whilst I quite enjoy a night off with a takeaway, no housework and chatting and painting, I think it is unreasonable to do it for days on end.

Jorah · 27/06/2018 14:58

Peach Body Oil and Warhammer aren't two things that go together

Yup. I call bullshit.

SilverySurfer · 27/06/2018 14:58

Your a meanie OP, poor DH.

feathermucker · 27/06/2018 15:00

Nope. I call bullshit on this one.

Jorah · 27/06/2018 15:35

I recognise the writing style as well

Storm4star · 27/06/2018 15:38

Well if it is bullshit, I think the nice thing to come out of it is to see just how many women support their partners hobbies, geeky or not! And vice versa. Hobbies are great and its nice there's so many happy households where both parties get to pursue their interests.

Jorah · 27/06/2018 15:52

I've just re downloaded world of Warcraft. My dh rolled his eyes but then brought me a cup of tea while I played. If I thought he thought i should be doing housework instead I'd be pretty depressed. We both work hard and silly geeky hobbies keep us sane.

PieAndPumpkins · 27/06/2018 16:40

Wow. I feel sorry for your DH, and I always open these threads fully willing to see both sides to a story. You love this man right? That means loving all of him, dorky hobbies and all.

MephistophelesApprentice · 27/06/2018 16:52

Peach body oil sounds like a mispronunciation of a citadel (Warhammers own brand) paint. They have some great names based on the hobby lore. If he fell asleep while painting I can imagine he'd slur out the last thing he'd been considering.

TellerTuesday4EVA · 27/06/2018 17:06

My ex husband had hobbies including taking drugs, drinking in the pub every night & shagging other woman, I'd count your blessings

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 27/06/2018 17:16

Which probably means it was paint, rather than glue that spilt.

GrandTheftWalrus · 27/06/2018 17:20

I hate calling anyone a bitch but that's exactly what you are.

Poor guy. Something he was working on got smashed and you were delighted? What a nasty piece of work you are.

ProfessorMoody · 27/06/2018 17:22

If this is bullshit, so be it.

If it's not, I can't believe he married someone who denigrates him so much. He needs to be with someone who embraces his nerdiness, not puts him down for it. Awful.

My DH is into gaming and Lego. I'm into gaming and crochet. We both love D&D. We are nerds and proud.

I'd much prefer a Warhammer husband than one who does inane things like going out drinking, or playing a sport.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 27/06/2018 17:29

could have been worse... could have dripped the glue elsewhere and glued the model to his cock

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 28/06/2018 09:12

"I thought once we had DCs he would leave all this juvenile stuff behind and be like a normal person"

That, right there, is why the OP (if she's real) is a thoroughly hateful person with a soul of used tinfoil. None of my family are normal or have bothered to grow up. My late dad considered growing up when the secondaries appeared in his liver, but "I'm 72 and possibly going to Heaven, why go to all that effort?"

Orlandointhewilderness · 28/06/2018 09:22

don't feed people.

Ifonlyus · 29/06/2018 06:24

@Ifonlyus Did you miss the OP's last post?

No - I didn't miss it. I still don't think her post warrants being called controlling, a bitch, a cunt. when people express themselves that way they sound just as bad as the OP.

what I took away from the OP is that her DH is too passionate about his hobby and he doesn't do any housework. I don't get why he sounds so deserving of the 'oh bless him' crowd.

But also wonder if this post is real too. I can't work out if there comments are meant to be derogatory towards all WH hobbyists - which is not on - or if they have misjudged their wording in an attempt to be humorous.

Either way, most people have jumped to conclusions that we just can't know from the two posts the OP has made. e.g. he should work harder to get a promotion to buy a nicer house. I read it that he could pour more energy into his work and into doing things around the house to make it nicer. And we have no way of knowing if the OP has a job outside the home or not because she didn't tell us.

Ifonlyus · 29/06/2018 06:38

their

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 29/06/2018 06:49

My dh isn’t into these types of hobbies, however loves sport and plays 5-aside football, 11v11 football, golf and judo, and we also manage 2 youth football teams.

I married my dh knowing full well he was going to be a very active and very busy man, (he works full time running his company).

Today he’s went on a golfing weekend in Scotland, and I’ve supported him and took the day off work to get the children to school (something he normally does) —and so I get. a few hours to myself before the weekend madness begins—

Yabu OP, your coming across as very unkind to your dh, his nerdy hobby, it’s not cool, calling him lazy etc... I’d say your dh is more cool than you, all you’ve really said about yourself is that your hobby consists of being square eyed in front of a box and considering this as quality time together

Anniegetyourgun · 01/07/2018 08:08

Be warned. I had a nerdy hobby which took me away from slumping in front of the sort of programmes H wanted to watch (archaeology and wars, mainly, which bore me, whilst he had no interest in quizzes, political satire, or films without sex and violence). It eventually came down to an ultimatum: give up the game or the marriage.

Ten years on, my hobby and I are still very happy together. I have no idea what XH watches in his spare time. Archaeology, wars and violent films, no doubt. He's welcome to 'em.

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