Or am I overreacting?

[huha]

Will try not to drip feed.

DH and I emigrated 2 years ago. He went from working part time to full time Dad. I work full time and am the "bread winner".

DH recently announced he's homesick. This is a feeling I totally understand as when we lived in the UK I felt the same (I am not from the UK). He made it clear he doesn't want to go back, it's likely related to not having his friends and family and being at home with kids all day. I get it.

However this weekend we were away with friends. We had been on a wine tour all day, 2 of the 5 of us were unwell/hungover by evening and the other 2 of us were just tired from all day drinking. DH was drunk but not over the top. I went to bed early (8pm). The others went to bed around 10:45. DH decided he was bored and walked downtown to a bar (10min or so away).

I lost my shit. We were away together and he couldn't just go to bed, he HAD to go out and continue drinking with randoms because he was "bored and wanted people to talk to". I woke up at 1am, he wasn't there, I called him and lost it.

WIBU? Or should I have let it go/not gone to bed early?

Blimey, I think you were really unreasonable and controlling! Unless he has a habit of doing this and coming back three days later, what would be the harm? You four were all drunk and knackered anyway.

YABU if you were in bed anyway why does it matter that he went out?

Why lose your shit? What difference did it make to you, you were asleep? Do you not trust him?

You wanted him to go to bed at 8pm when others were socialising and your dh is feeling lonely being a sahd? Yabu

What? So you were asleep and wouldn't have wanted to go...so he went...and what? Then what happened to make you so angry?

Don't understand what your problem was, should he have had to call it a night just because you did? I think it was fine to call at 1am to find out where he was, but to lose it? I think YABU, let him have some fun, you're not attached at the hip. Did you consult him before turning in?

Yabu. Incredibly so. What harm was he doing?

I think you were being a bit weird, sorry!

I can’t possibly see that anyone at all would think this reasonable unless there’s a huge backstory of mistrust

So you go to bed at 8pm and that means he has to as well?

What? What did he do wrong? I don't get it. You were asleep, he didn't want to sleep. That is allowed.
If you really lost your shit over this, I'd say you have a major problem.

What relevance does you being the "bread winner" have to this scenario? He should of probably text you to tell you he was staying out longer so you didn't worry where he was at 1am I guess. I think YABU to overreact though.

That's a bit of an over reaction from you. I've been an ex pat and understand the frustrations, sometimes you just want to have some sort of say in what you get to do. Was there any harm done? Why is it such a big deal for you?

YWBU

Is this is reverse?

I think you know YABU.

Oh wait, sorry OP. I forgot you says you were THE BREADWINNER. In that case....nope, still not getting it

It sounds like he needs something more than just being a SAHD - time to himself at least to make some friends etc outside of just you and him. Randoms you meet can become friends eventually - but never going anywhere and not being able to just go on elsewhere when everyone else flakes out on him - that is a bit controlling unless he has form for coming back so pissed he pees in the corner of the room and dumps in the wardrobe before vomiting in the bed and rolling in it

I don't think you were unreasonable at all!!!

You are being completely unreasonable and I can’t see why you would think otherwise.
He’s not a child and is missing social interaction. He goes away with friends and everyone is in bed by 11- sounds a bit shit for him and I’m not surprised he wanted to go out.

YABU. He was bored. You went to bed at 8pm. I don't blame him.

Jeez he has done nothing wrong at all. I’m glad my H isn’t like a lot of mumsetters, I would have been outnin my ear years ago.

lazy Why?!

Massively unreasonable! You were asleep - you were hardly spending quality time together!

Are you often this controlling OP

Have we all missed something here?? You went to bed at 8pm and you're furious because your DH went out because he was bored?

Unless there is going to be some massive drip feed YABVU or are only breadwinners allowed to go out?