To have encouraged the woman I care for to cause some trouble?

[SlashsSnake]

Basically I am employed by a family to be a friend to their daughter who has additional needs.

The daughter wanted to lose weight and told me she'd like to join slimming world. I went along with her and she joined up. First meeting was horrendous, all this bollocks about "unlimited pasta" and free foods, making cakes with weetabix, avocado having shot loads of "syns" but a sugar loaded cereal bar being free ... I told my friend that it was a load of shit designed to con people out of money. She wanted to try it. 3 weeks in shed lost a total of 1lb as she'd been living on pasta basically.

I challenged her to follow my diet for 2 weeks (basically based on MFP and Fitbit). 2 weeks later she'd lost 7lbs. She was ecstatic. I told her we should now go back to SW and tell them how she'd lost weight. She was excited about this as it would mean helping the others.

Do last night we went to meeting, the woman cheered and whooped at the massive weight loss and during the meeting she was asked what she'd been eating.

So she recounted things like "cheese omelette for breakfast, mackerel on toast with a packet of crisps for lunch, chicken curry, rice and bahjis for dinner, a chocolate bar on the night" etc etc

Everyone went quiet and someone asked if she'd been counting her syns. My friend said "no ive been counting calories because they actually exist whereas suns don't" (autistic so can be rather blunt). The leader then went on about how sticking to plan will ensure long term weight loss and crash diets don't help. I stepped in and explained that she'd been wearing a Fitbit for two weeks and her calories, although some days high) was always less than what she was burning and scientifically, that is the only true way to lose weight. The other group members started asking questions, the leader tried to move onto someone else but they all were more interested in my friend at this point. After the group the leader asked me if I'd purposely come to the meeting to cause trouble and did I realise I was exploiting my friends learning difficulties by recruiting her to cause trouble. My friend loved every minute of it, for the first time in her life, people were asking HER for advise. Her confidence is sky high. So WIBU to encourage my friend to stir the shit a bit?

OP!! OP!! Where are you OP?

Hanging your head in shame after handing in your resignation, I hope! But I doubt it, you are probably still being her 'friend', while being paid and not actually looking after her best interests in any way!!

OMG, I have always wanted carers to be registered in some way, as I was proud to be a good carer, and would have liked some recognition for it, but I have never wished for it more than now, when someone like you could be acknowledged and struck off for your abuse!

Sorry but can anyone else see Marjory from Little Britain as the SW instructor....Where's the Op?

Well, this isn’t true...

And then you high fived the queen right?

I know I'm late to this...but you are not a professional carer....theres is an extremely good reason there are checks and balances in place around real professional carers,and you cheapen the role that amazing people play

Do not push for your own agenda,do not manipulate and do not think you know better

You don't

Find another career preferably far away from vulnerable people

I work with people with learning disabilities and I am horrified you have done this. You have basicly made (yes made) a vulnerable person in your care do something to make you look all big
I could easily make the people I support so anything by putting a positive slant on it and saying things like “that would be great” and “you should do this”
You are there to empower not to lead.

I think you came on here expecting a big hand clap and huge pat on the back. Well sorry no what you did was awful and could even be classed as abuse.

Oh and if I had been in that group I would have reported you. Really hope someone does

Really?

Massive abuse of your poaition. You risked your client being ridiculed and didn't even consider her emotional wellbeing. Did you consider that she enjoyed attending groups for the social aspect and being part of a suportive like minded group of people where her autism was relatively unimportant to her acceptance? Or did you just think you would use her to prove a point aand show how wonderful you are. Effectively you have closed a social door for her, 🤔 not supportive or enabling at all.

On a practical note different diets woek for different people because they can stick to them. I can lose weigh on a calorie conrolled diet but only if i eat under 1000 cals a day and that's with me burning over 4000 daily. However i can lose weight on sw eating a lot more food. I actually prefer cal counting because it helps with other health issues but on this method i don't eat enough to be healthy. So your points are not valid for all.

I think this is awful. You have put a vulnerable woman in what could have been a very difficult position, and attempted to derail the weight loss attempts of other people (I’ve never done it but I understand SW works for many people).

I think SW is absolute bollocks. But why go to a meeting just to say it? Don’t you have to pay, idiot. It works for loads of people. It might make them really unhealthy with terrible skin, but it does make them thinner.

I’m the mother of a young man who is severely Autistic. He’s on medication that causes weight gain. But he also gains weight because of the foods he eats due to his autism.

Since last May he’s been wearing a polar flow day in and day out, his food is carefully weighed out and we Log everything on MFP.

His learning difficulties mean that he knows nothing about calories etc but he can now comprehend ‘healthy/better for you’. He also goes to a Crossfit box 4 mornings a week for personal training when it’s only open to him and 2 of his care team. And on top of that he walks approx 4kms a day. In total he walks about 15k steps daily due one thing or another including his stimming which has him basically doing something similair to the grand old duke of York many times throughout the day. He also doggy paddles/walks in our pool for 10 minutes a day. It’s not much calorie wise but he’s moving.

Since last May he’s lost 15 kilos and it’s taken the work of me, his home based 2-1 round the clock care team, his personal trainer and his siblings.

If you had done to my son what you’ve done to the young woman youre supposed to be looking after I’d punch your fucking lights out. How dare you use a vulnerable person in order to boost your own ego you complete and utter narcissistic bitch.

At least OP had the guts to question their behaviour here on AIBU though they have received a bollocking here too

Sorry, but they didn’t post to question their behavior.

They posted for a round of applause.

I agree that SW isn't perfect but it does work for some people. I went and lost weight. I'm health conscious and think that I have a good understanding of my nutritional needs so I avoided some of the SW (plastic) food but followed the basic principles eg unlimited fruit/veg, plenty of protein etc etc.
With your help your friend could have followed the plan healthily and more importantly enjoyed the social side of the group meetings. Can't speak for anyone else but my group were a diverse mix of people. We shared tips and encouraged each other without fear of embarrassment as we were all in the same boat. We usually ended up having a laugh and staying behind after for a cuppa and a chat. I made some good friends who I am still in touch with. Your friend would probably have benefited hugely from being part of the group and not just for the purpose of losing weight.
I feel terribly sorry for the consultant who was just doing her job and the other members who must have found it pretty disheartening

Anybody seen the OP???

Nope. First post and they disappeared pages back. I suspect journo or goady fucker.

You’ve basically manipulated someone with a learning disability to make a scene for your entertainment.
Cowardly nasty behaviour if you were interested in helping your ‘friend’ you would have congratulated her on her weight loss and said let’s save your money and not go to SW anymore instead of using her to make some silly point for you. Do you think anyone stopped going to SW because of your display or do you think you just made your friend a laughing stock.

Sounds like someone who spends their time fantasising about how crap SW is. Maybe because they went and didnt like it, or they have been whipped up by some aggressive online facebook group or other, so concocted a fantasy about what they did. I bloody hope so anyway, because the alternative is that someone is abusing their position as a paid carer by using a vulnerable person to bait people at a slimming club.

Why would you do that?? I don’t think it’s clever at all! She’d have been just as happy not going to sw again and continuing to lose weight with what you suggested. I don’t think I’d want you looking after any of my relatives! You’re basically drowning in your own smugness after getting someone else to throw the bomb!

To be fair to the Op at least the didn't use the words "mullerlight" or "Rebel Fit" because that's usually how these SW troll threads go. Tedious.

What's the dealio with rebelfit and SW? I'm genuinely unaware of SW troll threads

To be fair to the Op at least the didn't use the words "mullerlight" or "Rebel Fit" because that's usually how these SW troll threads go

No she just made a up an autistic woman to make fun of instead.

I think slimming world is crap and low carb high fat is the way forward. But I still think you were out of order.

Nahhh

Who would waste their time doing that for a start....apart from the hairy handed

I can't believe this thread is still here.