To have encouraged the woman I care for to cause some trouble?

[SlashsSnake]

Basically I am employed by a family to be a friend to their daughter who has additional needs.

The daughter wanted to lose weight and told me she'd like to join slimming world. I went along with her and she joined up. First meeting was horrendous, all this bollocks about "unlimited pasta" and free foods, making cakes with weetabix, avocado having shot loads of "syns" but a sugar loaded cereal bar being free ... I told my friend that it was a load of shit designed to con people out of money. She wanted to try it. 3 weeks in shed lost a total of 1lb as she'd been living on pasta basically.

I challenged her to follow my diet for 2 weeks (basically based on MFP and Fitbit). 2 weeks later she'd lost 7lbs. She was ecstatic. I told her we should now go back to SW and tell them how she'd lost weight. She was excited about this as it would mean helping the others.

Do last night we went to meeting, the woman cheered and whooped at the massive weight loss and during the meeting she was asked what she'd been eating.

So she recounted things like "cheese omelette for breakfast, mackerel on toast with a packet of crisps for lunch, chicken curry, rice and bahjis for dinner, a chocolate bar on the night" etc etc

Everyone went quiet and someone asked if she'd been counting her syns. My friend said "no ive been counting calories because they actually exist whereas suns don't" (autistic so can be rather blunt). The leader then went on about how sticking to plan will ensure long term weight loss and crash diets don't help. I stepped in and explained that she'd been wearing a Fitbit for two weeks and her calories, although some days high) was always less than what she was burning and scientifically, that is the only true way to lose weight. The other group members started asking questions, the leader tried to move onto someone else but they all were more interested in my friend at this point. After the group the leader asked me if I'd purposely come to the meeting to cause trouble and did I realise I was exploiting my friends learning difficulties by recruiting her to cause trouble. My friend loved every minute of it, for the first time in her life, people were asking HER for advise. Her confidence is sky high. So WIBU to encourage my friend to stir the shit a bit?

I don't think this post is real. It sounds like OP just had a fantasy about doing this. Some people love to rain on other people's parades ☔️

Missing the point, but her food was awful - where are the fruit and veg?

My fitness pal doesn’t work for me at all. Slimming world does, youseem horrible going in there with the only goal in mind to gloat about how clever you are. Wow I wish I was as awesome 👏🏼

You used your 'friend' to push your own agenda. YABU.

And manipulative.

did I realise I was exploiting my friends learning difficulties by recruiting her to cause trouble

Also this! Her confidence may be sky high right now but you have now alienated her from the group. That isn't something to be proud of.

Well I agree with you about CICO and I hate the idea of "syns" but it does all sound very mean spirited and self aggrandising.

Can't you help this young woman and celebrate her goals with her without dragging all the other slimming world participants into it?

Then the whole plane clapped.

Oh and just to point out avocados are full of syns as a medium one has about 300 calories and nearly 30g of fat yes its a good fat but its still fat.
On a low cal & fat high fibre diet fat wherever it comes from is restricted. The whole you can eat pasta thing is you eat until you are full and a third of your plate must be full of speed. Fruit and veg that isn't starchy and carb filled. That is how you lose weight

cheese omelette for breakfast, mackerel on toast with a packet of crisps for lunch, chicken curry, rice and bahjis for dinner, a chocolate bar on the night

Eggs are free
Cheese from allowance
Mackerel is free if it's not smoked
Toast from allowance
Crisps from syns
Rice is free
Chicken is free and depending on how you cook it, curry is free
Chocolate from syns.

Add 1/3 speed food (fruit and veg) to each plate and it's a decent SW meal plan.

Sounds like you went back to SW to be deliberately argumentative and inflammatory and used your "friend" to do this. Shameful behaviour , if you didn't agree with SW then so be it, you didn't need to return and you were pushing through your opinions and thoughts through a vulnerable person. Pretty disgusting don't you think?

Very odd behaviour. Get a hobby, FFS.

I echo a PP who asked if you told her parents?

Unbelievably rude of you if you really did this 😲 Is this actually a reverse? Are you the SW group leader?

Did OP not come back?

As a mother of a young adult who’s autistic with severe learning difficulties I would be absolutely furious with you, what you have basically done is to use your “friend” to do your dirty work for you, you have crossed the line seriously, you are employed by her family to accompany her to things she enjoys doing not for her to give seminars at a slimming club on your behalf.

Yeaaaah, not that I believe any of this happened, but you paid a fiver to attend a meeting just to get this person to stand up and moan about SW? Are there not better things to do with your time and money?

I don't think this happened. I know people on SW who eat a similar menu to the one OP listed hence it wouldn't be different enough to cause shocked silences and clamours for more information.

Horrible to exploit a vulnerable person, if this is true.

I assume you and this young woman have discussed this event with her family. What did they think of your actions?

I just go to the meetings for the weigh in. Ifollow my own diet and exercise routine. I think syns are annoying and the diet isn't for me. I would never bother kicking off about it though, or encouraging someone I'm caring for who is autistic to criticise it in public. I would seriously be considering if you were suitable for the job if I was your employer.

I agree this sounds implausible.

I attended slimming world and couldn’t get on with it, also found the premise ridiculous. I did however eat pretty much all the things you’ve listed there on a daily basis- chicken curry and rice, crisps, mackerel, toast, cheese omelette, chocolate bars- all within my syns and allowances. If I had listed that menu out loud there would have been no ‘stunned silence’, people would have accepted that as clearly reasonable as part of the diet.

I will also add that it works for others. No need to go back and tell people it doesn’t work just because you didn’t like it. You sound gleefully unpleasant.

I don’t get the hate of slimming world? It is basically a CICO diet?

It encourages a balance of all food groups. I very much doubt anyone has suggested shovelling bowls full of pasta in your mouth because it’s a free food.

You eat a range of the free food, to feel full. Adding 1/3rd of vegetables to your plate ensures you’re not eating platefuls of empty carbs. No food is banned.

Your way may work for you, but it’s unfair, as the woman you are supporting may have liked the group atmosphere there, and may have gained some confidence and developed some friendships.

The most popular part of this plan is the group support people get.

I just think it was a horrible thing to do. Just because SW doesn’t work for you, doesn’t mean you can wade in there and try to humiliate people? It’s so so arrogant.

YABU and a dick

You exploited this girl for your own shit-stirring agenda

None of this was for her benefit. If it’s even half true then as her career you should be ashamed of yourself

No, I don't think it's true either, nobody can be this dense.
But to indulge the fantasy, if I were the group leader I would be letting the Adult Learning Disabilties Team at SS know what happened.
That would definitely 'stir the shit' ...you being the shit, OP

OP I think your attitude was quite shitty.

I did Slimming World and lost 4 stone.

I tried Calorie Counting and exercise, maintaining a deficit. In the same time period (9 months) I lost 1lb.

What works for one, doesn't work for everyone.

You should eat until you are satisfied on Slimming World. For me, that was more rice/pasta/carbs than meat. You should also fill ONE THIRD of your plate with vegetables. The idea being that the veggies help to fill you up.

Obviously just eating pasta won't fill you up long term and will just leave you bloated. That's why it should be part of a meal, which you should have helped this girl understand.