About Nanny spending money?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

We employ a nanny to look after 2 DC. She's really great but it's a massive expense for us (we pay her more than I earn). We are cutting back massively to afford it and going without day to day treats (always take a packed lunch to work, never buy takeaway coffee etc). I leave the nanny a kitty to spend as she sees fit but she's easily spending £20 a week on meals out etc - they'll have lunch in a cafe when they could easily have had a picnic, or stop in Starbucks whilst the younger one is napping in the buggy. It grates a bit for her to be indulging in what I'm sacrificing.

Am I being petty or a soft touch?

£20 a week on meals out seems like a bargain! Where, and what is she eating? Greggs?

But seriously if you can't afford it just say, that's reasonable.

But if you are giving her £20 she probably presumes she can spend it. What's it for?

You need to sit down with her and say you’re only able to put x amount in the kitty each month and once it’s gone it’s gone, as you can’t afford so much spent on meals out. Ask her if there’s anything you could specifically get to make pack lunches for when she takes the children out and if she wants to do a specific more costly excursion with them to ask you if you’re able to afford the extra for it. She very likely doesn’t know how much you can afford for things or how much disposable income you might have, so you just need to talk to her. £20 a week doesn’t seem like much for her and two kids if she has them full time, so she probably doesn’t think it is either.

And always ask for receipts!

Er you just go back to the agency you hired this nanny from and get a new one? Hiring a nanny isn’t rocket science

Fucks sake. Hiring a nanny that is the correct fit for your family is a long process that can take a lot of time and meeting a lot of nannies before you find the right one. We’re not fucking handbags

£20 a week really isn't much though tbf.

Well that would be how expenses are dealt with expenses in an office environment.

I would just say sorry you need to make some cutbacks everywhere and could she reduce daily spend to X amount, ask whether she needs you to add any lunch stuff/snacks to the weekly shop.

If kids like going to café could you agree to once a week or once a fortnight, if she likes the family and the job she won't take it personally and will try to help.

As an au pair when I was younger I assumed my employers were very rich, she might have worked for wealthier families and assume you're not too fussed about the odd tenner.

This is normal in some households where nannies are employed. And not normal in others, You need to communicate with her and tell her what you expect.
But agree that £20 a week for 2 children is not unreasonable. So fair enough that your nanny is spending this amount.
And yes she should be buying coffee off OPs money. Employers have to provide facilities for making hot drinks.
Also good nannies are hard to find. So yes talk to her about amounts being spent and reduce weekly budget, but don't lose her by quibbling over a coffee.

I use a credit card so all expenditures can be tracked that way.

We do occasionally buy sandwiches out, as especially after the weekend the fridge/cupboards are pretty much bare! And I need to eat too, although I don't take the piss. When we can it's always a home lunch, meals out for treats, and I have to help keep the fridge stocked up otherwise I'd struggle to feed three of us 3x meals a day.

Is it just that she's spending on Starbucks that grates; or the actual amount?

£20 per week sounds pretty reasonable to be honest. I'd approach it with her calmly and carefully if you can't really afford that; perhaps by saying you won't be able to provide £20 a week but will for two weeks a month or something.

@HarrietKettleWasHere we employed thousands of non office workers actually

I think these are the hard years. DD went to nursery and then when we had DS we had a nanny as it was more cost-effective. Roll on school and then we had au-pairs. And plenty of parental assistance.

TBH I think you would be unreasonable to complain over spending £20 a week on lunches. You could however carefully explain that you are short of money and you need to watch the pennies. See what happens

Don't worry OP - you'll get through the expensive early years. Then you get to pay for university :)

I used to leave my nanny a kitty and she never spent it. She buys her own coffee and lunches and, shockingly, uses her own money to buy the kids treats (we don't expect this). Always makes packed lunches for kids if lunch out is necessary. If she does use the kitty she leaves the change and the receipt out for us so we can see where it's gone (normally if she wants to get something extra for the kids dinner or they go to a paid activity that I can't arrange tickets for in advance).

I would just speak to her about it and agree a fixed amount per month and ask for receipts so you an monitor. That's not unreasonable in a workplace!

Kaytee, ok, well done you, (didn't say anything about employing of office workers ) what's your point in relation to the subject matter at hand?

I have been a Nanny in the past and would not have dreamt of going to Starbucks with my bosses money! Cafes are also a treat, Although it may have been something she was used to from a previous job. A quick chat to make her aware that whilst you are happy for her to use the money for activities now the nice weather is here she could be doing other free activities and saving the kitty for the bad weather.

Well that would be how expenses are dealt with expenses in an office environment.

I was answering this... lots of the expenses were not being dealt with in an office environment.

It depends on your area if you are keen for them to be out all day but it’s raining cold and no where for them to go loo between playgroup and say story time at library, then you need least pay for a coffee for her so kids can eat their picnic in warm and dry.

If everything is a 10min walk from
Home then YRNBU

Right-oh

I don't employ a nanny but £20 a week sounds very reasonable to me, considering there are two children, and presuming that they will be going to toddler groups and sometimes more expensive activities such as swimming, softly etc. And I wouldn't begrudge the Nanny an occasional coffee either, she can't make her own when out, and on some long days with two small children a coffee is very much needed!

My point is that I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask the nanny to claim for expenses (they could be reimbursed even that evening) rather than be given a cash float.

See on the flip side I don't think my boss would 'dream' of not paying for me to have a coffee while I took my charges to their outdoor sports clubs and stayed to watch in all weathers, for example.

Four pounds a day isn’t much. I realise over your monthly budget that adds up, but for a day to day kitty twenty pounds a week is not a lot of money if you are taking two children out and about.

And yes she should be buying coffee off OPs money. Employers have to provide facilities for making hot drinks.

Pretty sure there's a kettle and running water in OP's kitchen.
Starbucks is not her place of employment.

Floats are normal for nannies.

Just talk to her. Explain you realised that you weren't clear in your expectations about discretionary spending initially. You'd like her to make them packed lunches (specify what, has she got ideas on it?), she can add things to a shopping list here. Re activities, you are expecting parks, libraries, free museums, community days out, rather than paid activities. £20 / week is for one special occasion a week, and one treat (e.g. cinema Wednesday, and babyccino Friday).

It might feel a bit uncomfortable to be revealing that you are not as flush as she might have assumed. But she'll most likely be absolutely fine with it.

tilda Which is fine if OP is happy for nanny to keep kids in the house and garden day after day.