to think that the people who have a healthy relationship with food do so because they have a fast metabolism?

[Fuckedoffat48b]

I am half way through my first pregnancy and I have gained… 4lbs. I started the pregnancy at the top end of a healthy weight, have dropped a dress size (!), look and feel great, and have suddenly noticed I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever about what I am eating. I had to increase my caloric intake by about 200-300 calories a day from the very beginning, just to maintain my weight.

Nobody is more shocked than me about this, as this is the first time in my life since I was about 13 that I have honestly been able to eat until I am full, and not gain weight.

It has been an absolute revelation, and made me realise if this is just how all the smug skinnies lecturing about 'just eating until you feel full' feel all the time?! If that is honestly the case then no wonder they have a 'healthy relationship with food' imo.

If food didn't make me fat I would have a healthier relationship with it too. AIBU to think this healthy relationship with food could actually be more body type than mindset after all?

Maintaining and losing are incredibly different, and losing is much, much harder

I don't think that is always true, some people need to work hard to maintain and the same principles still apply.

The difference possibly is that for those with healthy weight they have already made lifestyle changes, so it's become routine, while those needing to lose weight need to implement change to their lifestyle which feels harder. Does that make sense?

I think it is odd that people on this thread have chosen to presume I don't really know what I am eating, despite me making clear that it has been closely regulated, tracked and counted, though totally believed the skinnies coming on here's version of events about their own eating habits.

This thread is like proof of thin privilege!

Is having a 'healthy' attitude to food the same as 'working hard to maintain'. I don't know if it is.

I'm not saying that maintaining is effortless; I am saying it is much easier than losing. I don't think anyone who has done both would deny that.

I’ve never put much weight on during pregnancy- I’ve had HG both times and it’s like a switch is flicked for your appetite, you just can’t face food (as well as vomiting up anything you do force down and being nauseous constantly.) I left hospital last time smaller than booking weight and in normal clothes. Hellish 9 months, it was awful, and wonderful to get my appetite back!

I can well imagine that the genetic differences in appetite play a huge role.

What bothers me is how weight, which is a health issue, is framed as a moral issue. Our weight does not indicate how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ we are as people.

I know that my weight gain is mostly due to overeating. I seem to get hungrier than other people, more quickly. I go from not hungry to starving in half an hour, and I never 'forget to eat' - I'm always hungry for my next meal within about four hours, even if I was stuffed.

I suffer from hideous anxiety sometimes, and when that happens my appetite vanishes. I eat tiny portions and never really fancy eating anything specific - I eat because I need energy rather than because my stomach is rumbling. The weight falls off me (then piles straight back on when I feel better mentally).

If only I could switch off my appetite, I would be much slimmer.

Be honest though, do you partake in tonnes of carbs and booze?

Noop. Pretty much tee total, the odd glass of champagne at a wedding maybe. Carbs - I was just saying yesterday that it’s very easy to eat too many carbs as veggie/vegan. But I’m aware of that so don’t. Low carb is the only thing that’s ever worked for me short term so I try and stick to it long term, so no, not too many carbs.

I haven’t been vegetarian the whole time I’ve been fat (as I’ve been fat forever and come from meat eating parents) but it hasn’t made my weight come down at all.

When I was in year 1 at school this kid said to me ‘what, are you having a baby or something?’, when I was about 3 or 4 my mum said I was ‘the wrong build for ballet’ which I’ve since learned was because she wanted my sister to have her own hobby and me not copy her all the time. I really was not fat at all at these ages. Not dainty, but not fat at all. But it became a self fulfilling prophecy. I started sneaking sweets from the sweetie box (why we even had one of those I have no idea) when I was 8 and moved schools twice in one school term. So for me it’s a lot of stress eating. Still! I’ve had 2 perfectly flawless pregnancies, I run a lot, I know for a fact I’m very healthy CURRENTLY - it’s the long term weight related things I’m worried about. Don’t want a miserable old age.
Sorry for the derail OP! Just pisses me off when someone says ‘eat veggies and admit you stuff your face with carbs and booze!’ 🙄

Fuckedoffat48b

Not sue if that is aimed at me

Continued.....

I was responding to margarets post which talked generally about it being hard to lose than maintain. I have no idea what you eat and I'm not really bothered. You said in you Op that you were still in the healthy range, so I'm guessing it's ok.

@sarahconnor1 no it wasn't aimed at you.

OP wtf is your problem with slim people? You’ve made several passive aggressive comments and a couple of aggressive ones. It’s not cool.

I think people are less likely to trust fat people’s reasons for being fat as there are a lot of excuses given that can’t possibly be accurate. Eg if 9/10 people blame their weight on thyroid problems, but actually only 2/10 people suffer from thyroid conditions (just made up numbers, obvs). My mother was obese for 15 years and blamed all number of things and she finally lost a shitload of weight and now will be very open about the fact she used to just binge eat and comfort eat etc. Which is a valid reason and a lot more understandable/relatable than blaming circumstances not under someone’s control. I think everyone has a very different perception of what is healthy and what isn’t, what’s a normal portion size and what isn’t, what’s a lot of exercise and what isn’t.

Chipping in here because someone wanted views from those who have lost weight and maintained. I was overweight/obese from puberty until my late 20's. Took 2-3yrs to lose the weight and have generally been within 7lbs of my ideal weight for the last 13 years.

I've also researched and tried every diet out there. In my opinion (obv not qualified!), barring rare physical conditions, it is simply about calories in/calories out. It might be boring but unfortunately there isn't a magic answer.

What people seem to mix up is something being simple and something being easy. Losing weight is unbelievably simple and unbelievably hard.

What makes it easier, in terms of maintaining after weight loss and for people who have never been overweight, is habit. You're not in the habit of reaching for a snack mid-afternoon, so you don't. You're not in the habit of having seconds just because they're there, so you don't. Similarly, you're used to the feeling of hunger or not being quite as full and it becomes a virtuous circle of not needing so much to fill you up.

That said, I still don't find it easy. I have to watch everything I eat, track my weight and cut back if I become uncomfortable with my weight. And I have to cut back more, the older I get. People who didn't know me overweight don't believe that it is such a daily concern.

I'm sorry, but I think it's an easy cop out to say that some people have it easy when it comes to being slim. Nearly all of us are physically capable of losing weight if we want. But it is hard work.

I have found when you delve deeper with people who claim to be able to eat whatever they like and not put on weight, this is because what they like to eat are small, healthy portions.

@whatshallidonowpeople but people rarely do dig deeper do they? They take what thin people say at face value, and assume larger people don't know what they are doing.

I think most slim people aren't slim by chance. They work hard and exercise restraint 95% of the time. They also enjoy food just as much S anyone most of the time. I hate that myth that bigger people perpetuate that "I love food too much to be slim".

I don't know any slim people that are smug about it by the way.

I don't think that's what a "healthy attitude to food" is.

You can have a fast metabolism and still binge eat, have a disorder like anorexia and bulimia etc.

Is having a 'healthy' attitude to food the same as 'working hard to maintain'. I don't know if it is.

Of course it is, it is a realistic attitude. It might be easier to feed your kids junk food than to battle to make them eat a very healthy diet when we are surrounded by attractive crap food everywhere.
It's not following your colleague's examples and snack or eat cakes all day in the office. It's consciously chosing to eat food you might dislike because it's healthier even if you would happily live off crisps and cakes.

It still is healthy because you never feel the need to binge, you don't over-eat, you just make healthy choices everyday.

I'm overweight, always have been. I thought I was just "unlucky", but the reality is I have to exercise far more than I realise to maintain a healthy weight. I used to walk about five miles a day, and thought that should be enough. It doesn't matter what you think should be enough exercise - if you're eating fairly sensibly but not losing, then you aren't moving enough.

I've since started doing an additional one hour of cardio / toning 5x a week, and guess what? The weight is finally shifting. I'm seeing new muscle definition.

In the past I assumed naturally healthy-weighted people were just lucky, but I now realise they are likely doing what I'm now doing exercise-wise, I just never saw them doing it so assumed they weren't doing anything extra.

This is obviously not including those who just naturally don't have much appetite, which I imagine isn't the vast majority of people.

I really cover enjoy food. I don't "fear" anything beyond food poisoning.
And
I have been putting on weight for a couple of years and I realise that I am going to have to adjust my diet long term. It's a bit of a pain but that's just a reflection of my current age and physicality. I may be more likely to refuse bread, cake evening snacks and a whole portion of fish and chips but I don't think that makes my relationship with food any different to what it was before.

It's just a new reality that I had been ignoring for a while.

No point overthinking other people's choices and metabolisms!

Some people really do eat whatever the hell they want and stay skinny. my husband is one such person. My son is another. I and my daughter, on the other hand, eat waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less than they do and are sadly nowhere near as skinny.

My daughter does at least 22 hours of strenuous exercise weekly, eats small portions, has sweets/choc once a week, and is chunky. She's right at the top of the normal BMI, often rolling over into overweight.

My son eats WAY more than she does - huge portions, snacks all the time, - does no exercise above a half hearted weekly PE session, and is skinny as all hell. He's skin, bone and muscle.

Same family, same genes, same meals. The only difference is metabolism.

You cannot compare boys and girls. They are all started as skinny things (when they have decent parents), but many girls tend to plump up in their mid or late teens, and shrink back later.
Boys can eat you out of the house until their (late) 20s when they need to stop over doing it or they start getting podgy. Younger men have much less to worry about their weight than younger women. Well, whose body is designed to store fat energy for carrying a child, it does make sense.

Not talking about kids who have been made obese from early childhood obviously.

All the overweight people I know just really lurve food. They snack alot and talk about it alot. Always have seconds etc etc.They are basically more obsessed with food than the average. Over years this will have an effect.

No. Obesity and bad relationships with food are strongly linked to Adverse Childhood Events (ACEs).

My husband is extremely thin (BMI of 15) and has been so all his life. I've observed this about his eating habits -

1. He eats very slowly. E.g. it takes him 20 minutes to eat a small chocolate bar.
2. He eats when he is hungry, rather than at set mealtimes, and he eats what he wants without regard to convention. E.g. he might eat a betroot salad for 'breakfast' (mid-morning) then nothing else all day, then some chocolate biscuits and a banana for 'dinner', then cook a vegetable stew at 9pm.
3. He rarely clears his plate.

I'm not sure how to answer the OP. I have always been very slim and have a healthy attitude towards food.

When I say healthy, I mean that food is not a source of comfort for me and anxiety or sadness take away my appetite. The joy of food is in the sharing of delicious food with other people and I don't find eating alone to be enjoyable. I don't demonise any particular food group or food and think they all have their place in a balanced diet. This does not mean that I eat large quantities of "bad" food - just that will eat all foods, just in different quantities. I don't have a sweet tooth and don't have a stomach for fried foods, but I do love crisps. This does not mean that I would be able to eat a large bag by myself - it means that I enjoy a handful several times a week.

Good food is delicious. However I have always had the attitude of savouring good food and never been a mindless eater and my definition of good food is not the same as other people. I truly love the taste of fresh veg and fruit and am loathe to purchase them out of season because they really taste sub-par. I am the "wierdo" who truly loves salads and don't find hyper processed foods to be tasty.

Scientifically, the idea of a fast metabolism not really back by good evidence. People are slim because they don't overeat along with other factors like having adequate levels of thyroid regulating hormones, have a good muscle mass, and have a healthy gut biome.