to think that the people who have a healthy relationship with food do so because they have a fast metabolism?

[Fuckedoffat48b]

I am half way through my first pregnancy and I have gained… 4lbs. I started the pregnancy at the top end of a healthy weight, have dropped a dress size (!), look and feel great, and have suddenly noticed I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever about what I am eating. I had to increase my caloric intake by about 200-300 calories a day from the very beginning, just to maintain my weight.

Nobody is more shocked than me about this, as this is the first time in my life since I was about 13 that I have honestly been able to eat until I am full, and not gain weight.

It has been an absolute revelation, and made me realise if this is just how all the smug skinnies lecturing about 'just eating until you feel full' feel all the time?! If that is honestly the case then no wonder they have a 'healthy relationship with food' imo.

If food didn't make me fat I would have a healthier relationship with it too. AIBU to think this healthy relationship with food could actually be more body type than mindset after all?

smug skinnies nice.

In answer to your question. No. Having a good relationship with food isn't about eating as much as you want and not putting on weight.

I think it has much more to do with people subconsciously limiting their food intake at times. So if they have had a massive burger for lunch they will have a salad for tea without thinking about it. Btw I'm normally fairly slim, I don't diet etc but in pregnancy I have put on 2 stone. Do I lose my smug skinny badge?

What is it about then?

@dobby no it sounds like your metabolism changed. Supporting my theory in fact. Did you lose your 'healthy attitude to food' or your normal metabolism when you were pregnant do you think?

I think quite a bit of research has demonstrated that people who are overweight underestimate how much they eat and exercise (e.g. are often unaware that their portion sizes are too large, fail to include snacks and little treats here and there, will class "running after a toddler alll day" as strenuous activity) whilst slim people overestimate how much they eat and exercise (e.g. will say they "eat like a horse" but when you actually look closely at their diet they have good portion control and self-regulate their food intake - for instance, eating a big restaurant lunch but then not feeling hungry for and thus not eating dinner.)

It's about being aware. Food makes everyone fat if you eat too much especially too much of the wrong thing.

I do much of what dobby says. If if eat a lot at lunch I won't eat much later. I also rarely snack.

I eat exactly the same when pregnant apart from a slight increase in milk due to cravings. People really don't have different metabolism they just eat differently and have different exercise levels. It's not very nice to call skinny people smug you know? There are many different reasons for a person's weight ranging from a healthy attitude to food to disordered eating and everything in between.

I agree with you OP. I am naturally quite skinny but I think it’s more to do with my appetite which isn’t huge.

When I was pregnant my appetite was through the roof and I felt hungry almost every day. I ate every 3 hours throughout my first trimester and was obsessed with food. If I felt like that all the time I would be the size of a house as I have no self control!

It’s maybe not true of everyone but it certainly is for me. Now I’m back to ‘my normal’ and don’t feel too bothered about food/could forget to eat etc. which I presume has a big impact on my shape.

I don't think pregnancy has changed your metabolism - pregnancy does require a slightly greater calorie intake to maintain weight (although "eating for two" is a myth and responsible for a lot of pregnancy weight gain.)

I think maybe their bodies might be more attuned to what they need?/self-regulating.

So - day before my period I feel the need to eat a million crisps! (I don't feel guilty about it because I know I have low blood pressure and need extra salt those days)

Otoh if I've only eaten stodgy outside food for a day or two (eg airplane journeys) then I get home craving fruit and veg.

There’s actually not much difference between peoples metabolic rates - it’s been tested.

What makes the difference is probably small things magnified over time. Just a couple of hundred extra calories a day is enough to put a fair amount on over a year. If you’re fidgety, or just have very slightly smaller portions, that can be enough.

I don’t think it’s metabolism - all the studies that have been done show that thinner people just eat less.

ComtesseDSpair but the current advice is you don't need extra calories until the third trimester, particularly if you started off overweight. So why did I need them right from the beginning?

I don’t think it’s metabolism so much as portion size. You get full faster if your stomach is used to smaller meals so you can eat until you’re full without gaining much weight. You would only not eat until you’re full if you’re actively trying to lose weight.

Having a healthy relationship with food is mostly related to the choice of foods you eat. You will never get fat if you eat mostly fruit and veg. It’s almost impossible to eat too much of it.

I see where you’re coming from, and I do think that’s the case in some people but as others have mentioned it’s not as simple or as clearcut as that. One of my closest friends at uni has always been very very slim. But, her ‘treating herself’ was to have some onken yoghurt. Mine was to consume a tub of ice cream. She would snack on nuts, I would snack on pies. She’s always had a healthy relationship with food by all accounts, and never felt like she was denying herself or battling her wills. People have different tastes, brains and bodies.

Disagree
We didn’t all have fast metabolisms 30, 40, 50 years ago.
But most people were slim then.
It is food intake and lifestyle and not genetics. Obesity is a relatively new en masse problem now.

Are you sure you're still eating the same - it may be that fullness comes at a different point for you now, and so you can eat until you're satiated but eat less? I agree that people massively underestimate how powerfully different people's appetites are. I was always an effortless size 10 at 5'10 until I took antidepressants. When I said they made me put on weight the doctor told me that I still had the same metabolism so the problem was my willpower - this is sort of true, but it understated what it was like to have a radically changed appetite. I felt so constantly hungry that I couldn't function without eating a lot more - so of course I put on weight. It's also a great deal harder to lose than maintain; I've been off antidepressants for three years but have never been back down below a size 14 since (though I am currently 37 weeks pregnant, so right now doesn't count!). I did try (though probably not hard enough - it never feels like a big priority in my life) but whereas staying a size 10 was very easy for me, getting back to there would have required a huge effort that I wasn't really willing to make.

But my psyche towards 'treats' and 'snacks' hasn't changed at all. Except I can now eat them and don't gain weight which would never have happened before.

I had a good veg-based, home-cooked and admittedly calorie counted with an eye on the macros diet, and honestly, one slice of birthday cake could have seen me gain weight before, now I can have a slice every day and maintain. And not need to worry about whether or not I could have a big meal, or another snack later. And as a result I am much much happier about food and eating etc.

People's relationship with food (A term I loathe because I think it is unhealthy in and of itself, but I'll use it for this post.) is as complex as your post is naive.

My relationship with food has always been massively unhealthy and it has nothing to do with my metabolism.

I have been skinny most of my life and at the point my relationship with food was at its worst I could eat whatever and not gain weight or sometimes even lose weight.

Are you eating healthier though? So increased 'calories' but because you are pregant those calories are being consumed from fruits and veg and protein as opposed to take aways and chocolate? Are you more aware of what you are eating because you are pregnant?

I don't think its to do with metabolism,although genetics possibly play a small part. its more to do with they types of food being eaten and choices made. I'd say I had a healthy relationship with food because I know what foods are good for me and what to limit. I think I'm average weight, certainly not a 'smug skinny'

My unhealthy relationship with food is down to upbringing. I've spent my entire adult life fighting to not be like my mother! I'm not doing too bad so far.

With maybe a handful of exceptions, I don't believe in "naturally skinny" except in the sense that some people seem to be able to intuitively and "naturally" regulate their food intake better than others (and they're a very interesting study group: biologically we are wired to eat as much as possible when food is available to compensate for when it might be scarce, so people who can avoid the former are, in some ways, the exception rather than the rule.) Every slim person I know eats less and makes healthier choices overall than ever not-slim person I know, and most will also to admit to actively monitoring their calorie intake to a greater or lesser extent.

Weight is also a hugely gendered topic, because women are supposed to eat daintily and not succumb to greed. My brother is a dietician: he says that, whilst virtually all of his overweight female patients, when asked why they think they are overweight, will cite metabolism, thyroid problems, genetics, hormonal issues etc and claim to eat very little; his male patients will quite cheerfully say they are fat because they like beer and food too much and don't exercise as much as they used to. Yet both men and women will lose weight at similar rates once their calorie intake is reduced by some method and activity increased.

There's no such thing as a fast and slow metabolism, it's just an excuse.
Some people might look like they can eat more than others, but that's completely disregarding the amount of activity they really do. It does help to have parents who teach you to have a healthy relationship with food.

Some posters thought it was hilarious that some children are not allowed to eat on the floor or snack all over the house. It's a way to teach the kids to sit down at the table, eat properly and take their time, and to be used not to snack mindlessly all day. Just thinking about your food, instead of inhaling a pack of crisps is one of these things parents teach you

Portion control is very important, and if you are not used to over-eat, you will feel sick and horrible if you eat massive portions. There's always a competition on this forum about who can eat the most pizzas plus double portion of fries, a curry, a pie and icecream in one settings. This attitude is what create fat people, not their metabolism.

I gained 11lbs during my whole pregnancy with DD. I think it was the not drinking alcohol and making healthier food choices because I knew I was pregnant (excluding the weekly happy meal craving!)

No. Your thinking is skewed, to say the least.

The issue is that "eating until you feel full" isn't particularly good advice if you regularly over eat, because you won't feel full until you have eaten too much food.

I am generally slim, but my weight fluctuates - as does the amount of food I can eat before I feel full. If I go through a phase of eating a lot of food (without exercising more), I gain weight, but I also get used to eating more, and so I want to eat more. When I get back in the habit of eating less, my appetite shrinks accordingly.