to think that the people who have a healthy relationship with food do so because they have a fast metabolism?

[Fuckedoffat48b]

I am half way through my first pregnancy and I have gained… 4lbs. I started the pregnancy at the top end of a healthy weight, have dropped a dress size (!), look and feel great, and have suddenly noticed I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever about what I am eating. I had to increase my caloric intake by about 200-300 calories a day from the very beginning, just to maintain my weight.

Nobody is more shocked than me about this, as this is the first time in my life since I was about 13 that I have honestly been able to eat until I am full, and not gain weight.

It has been an absolute revelation, and made me realise if this is just how all the smug skinnies lecturing about 'just eating until you feel full' feel all the time?! If that is honestly the case then no wonder they have a 'healthy relationship with food' imo.

If food didn't make me fat I would have a healthier relationship with it too. AIBU to think this healthy relationship with food could actually be more body type than mindset after all?

OP I normally don't post on these threads but you seem open minded

So, yes. My sister has hollow legs and is horrified at what she thinks is my "restricted" eating. She thinks it's norm to have three full sized meals each day, two with dessert, and not work out.

I would be obese if I did that, also I'm a regular exerciser, she's not.

I don't think there's anything wrong with my relationship with food but the sort of person who has hollow legs probably does. I have a hollow legged colleague who is the same. She bakes, brings in the lovely cake and looks quite disbelieving that I can't eat it often. I also had a rant once about how there's so much junk food in the office, she thought I was mad.

one of the biggest causes of obesity is the pressure on women to be thin and to eat less.

no, one of the biggest cause of obesity is that people over-eat.

You take on more calories than you use, and our modern life makes many people eat a lot more and the wrong things whilst doing virtually no physical activity. Counting your steps and thinking that it's "exercise" is not helpful for example! It's a start, but you need to walk quite a few hours to actually burn a decent amount of calories.
another one is using taking cleaning your house as exercise. Why would that make you suddenly lose weight? Didn't you clean your house before you started to try losing weight?

If you are not happy about your appearance and your health, a crash diet is the worst thing you can do. If you get use to reduce your food intake slowly, you will get used to eat better, and over-eating will make you feel horrible. It won't happen overnight.

It's the calories in alcohol, if I have an alcohol free week I drop weight without any other changes. A medium glass of wine is between 100 and 120 calories. Plus alcohol tends to lead to snacking.

blaming everything other than their overactive gobs for why they can't lose weight.

They must eat half the contents of the fridge every time they go home.

Bloody hell. And I wasn't being very nice criticising some thin people for proffering smug advice .

@sarahconnor1 I calorie counted the alcohol and actually wasn't drinking an enormous amount in the run up to getting pregnant for health reasons, and drinking less helped with tracking my cycle.

Just remembered
Before I got properly treated for anxiety, I ate a huge bag of crisps every day and ice cream when I was awake at night. Didn't gain a pound. There are variables apart from diet and exercise. That period lasted about 6 months I think. Without anxiety burning off calories I'd have ballooned.

blaming everything other than their overactive gobs for why they can't lose weight.

It's not the nicest way to put it, but your body weight depends pretty much exclusively on the amount of calories you take on. There are a few medical reasons and medicine that make you balloon unfortunately, but they don't apply to many.

I have to say when I started this thread I thought there would be some slightly more nuanced opinion than fat people are fat because they eat too much and thin people are thin because they don't!

I drink very little as well but if I have just one week of no drinking at all I lose weight.

@sarahconnor1 I had to give up booze for a couple of months due to some meds I was one. I dropped a grand total of 3lbs. Not completely insignificant but not exactly diet busting. I would rather have the booze tbh!

I’m a person with a healthy relationship to food, I eat when I’m hungry but it’s very rare I will eat until I’m full (unless it’s DM’s Sunday dinner). I eat until I’m no longer hungry, in pregnancy I was hungry more often so I ate more often. I don’t like the feeling of being ‘full’ it’s too heavy.

Metabolisms do vary, between people and for the same person at different times, of course. My certainly has. The key I think is noticing this and responding accordingly - listening to your body, eating more or less as needed, not getting hung up on external information.

There is some mental awareness required, not just a direct response to appetite, as changes in activity levels take a while to be reflected by changes in appetite e.g. a drop in exercise levels takes a while to be expressed, so there can be a period of over-eating unless you're careful.

So my experience is that people who maintain a fairly constant adult body weight are in tune with their bodies and eat according to need, not according to desires, or rules.

It could be to do with your gut biome. People who are obese have a very different gut biome to those who are thin. It could even be that it controls how hungry you feel.

Tim Spectre's book is very interesting on this issue, especially his reporting of twin studies.

As for the pregnancy thing and 'eating for two' being a myth one should just ignore - I was massively, hugely and terribly hungry all throughout two of my pregnancies. I put on a fair bit of weight. It was hard and depressing. I am not in the overweight category the rest of the time (although I always wish I were half a stone lighter).

I have to say when I started this thread I thought there would be some slightly more nuanced opinion than fat people are fat because they eat too much and thin people are thin because they don't! but the vast majority oof fat people dont have any thyroid/ other health problems i guess the more pertinent question is why do fat people over eat. and the answer to that is many reasons emotional societal etc

Humphrycobblers I have considered the gut biome too, and it is actually the case that the gut micro biomes of obese people may actually cause them to absorb more calories than non-obese people. But I wonder if that would change when pregnant? I suppose nobody has done the research yet.

be some slightly more nuanced opinion than fat people are fat because they eat too much

but it's true!
Now there are reasons why some people eat themselves to ill-health, and it's difficult to break the habits of a lifetime when our shops are full of junk food, and it's easier to eat rubbish than to eat healthily if you are not used to it.

Its quite common to lose significant weight at the beginning of your pregnancy, tiredness, losing muscles, and many others but usually if you start eating for 2 or 3, you will end up paying for it a few months later.

I’m a fat mostly-vegan so I have to disagree there

Be honest though, do you partake in tonnes of carbs and booze? I know plenty of vegans who will stuff themselves full of beer and chips and pasta and (vegan) chocolate. What I meant is, if you’re living off undressed salads and steamed broccoli you won’t get fat. You would have to consume just so many carrots to reach over your daily calorie intake for gaining weight than you would never have time to eat them all. Truly, mostly fruit and veg is pretty hard to gain weight on. It’s the stuff guy have with it that causes the trouble.

Guy = you

I have stayed approximately the same shape 10 top 12 bottom classic pear since my late teens except when I was pregnant putting on 35lbs each time which dropped off without effort whilst breastfeeding

I did not do regular exercise but prefer to walk than take a bus, don't have a car and always take the stairs
I love eating good food but from a lazy teen when not hungry I don't make much effort to cook, like sweet things but don't generally have them in the house, have never been on a diet and have no idea how many calories are in anything

I don't think I am perfect but for some reason (metabolism, home environment, gut bacteria...) food has never been that significant outside enjoying celebrations by going eating yummy food

In my mid forties I have started running as I want to enjoy my later years and realise it's going to be harder as my body ages and hormones kick in (or out??)

Not quite so happy with my relationship to alcohol though . . .

One of the questions the responses on this thread have lead me to is, why do we trust slim people to understand why they are thin, but don't trust fat people to understand why they are fat?

why do we trust slim people to understand why they are thin, but don't trust fat people to understand why they are fat?

I agree. I also find it very irritating to see people who have always been the same size assume they know how other people should lose weight. Maintaining and losing are incredibly different, and losing is much, much harder.

It’s possible that some of those slim people haven’t always been so though isn’t it?

It’s possible that some of those slim people haven’t always been so though isn’t it?

Sure - but a) it would be surprising not to mention a successfully maintained weight loss in the context of this thread, where it would be so clearly relevant and b) I was talking particularly about the 'I've always been a size 8/9 stone so...' posts where people go on to give advice.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat no, the majority of those posters are making the point they have always maintained their presumably healthy weight.

Maybe because most of the people who have always been slim actually have to make an effort to stay slim? They make the effort to eat sensibly, never go into the habit of snacking or over-eating, keep exercising and so on.

Its' like people moaning about a slim person "Oh, you are so lucky you are so slim". Ahem, lucky to eat sensibly and getting out of bed or a sofa to exercise when others are chilling. It's not just "luck"