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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu or is the school

181 replies

LilQueenie · 24/06/2018 20:04

I paid for a school trip (not expensive) and ticked the box for the school to prepare a packed lunch for DD. this was optional but we choose it.

On the day DD was recovering from a sore throat. (had little if anything to eat the day before only managing soft fruit) The trip would last the full school day so I popped a banana, 2 small oranges and a couple oat bars (dds request) into her bag. They all have water daily. This was to ensure she had at least something she could eat if whatever was in the packed lunch was hurting her throat and also as a breaktime snack. Again if the oat bar hurt her she had a choice of fruit.

DD came home upset as she had not been given the packed lunch by school as she already had food in her bag. aibu to think school should not have withheld the packed lunch that was their duty to provide. DD's throat was fine. The back had been pre-packed the night before and we were not even sure if she would be attending the school trip at that point.

I do not think what I put in her bag could be seen to be a 'packed lunch'. No way would I have sent her with that if it had been.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 24/06/2018 21:30

The school should have checked she had a full lunch not just snacks

This is clearly a post from somebody who has not looked into a load of children's lunchboxes. You would not be able to tell if a 'lunch' were intended to be 'a full lunch' or not, by looking. I think you are presuming all parents pack some kind of 'regulation' school lunch. They don't.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 24/06/2018 21:32

Yip teachers have time to rummage around 30 children's lunch boxes every day and 'top' them up where necessary.

NomNomNomNom · 24/06/2018 21:34

BackforGood I've been on school trips with DS's class and everyone had something that I would recognise as lunch and not just snacks but fair enough that might not be true in every school. If the school went to the effort of asking people in advance if they wanted a lunch provided they should have some record of who did or didn't say yes and just hand the lunches out to the right kids. The only other explanation would be that DD was confused and said she her mum had packed her a lunch in which case I can understand them not giving her another one.

NomNomNomNom · 24/06/2018 21:36

Also at DS's school trips the teachers & helpers also made sure the kids ate something lunch-like before they had snack food so they would have noticed a child only eating fruit/oat bars (to be fair the one I went on was Y1 not sure if this continues for older kids).

Sirzy · 24/06/2018 21:36

Every time I have been on school trips with ds at least 5 children have arrived with packed lunches dispite having asked for a school one and generally a couple come with no lunch even though they have said they are bringing their own.

What the parent has ticked seems to bare little resemblance to what happens as so many parents seem to expect teachers to be psychic!

diddl · 24/06/2018 21:37

"Yip teachers have time to rummage around 30 children's lunch boxes every day and 'top' them up where necessary."

But they're not being asked to do that-just distribute packed lunches to those for whom they have been requested.

RippleEffects · 24/06/2018 21:38

I went on a y1 trip last week - not my DC just as an experienced extra pair of hands. 30 DC all FSM. Most tick for school to provide lunch then decide to send DC in with one. So we check on the day who has lunch, who doesn't have lunch, who isn't listening and hasn't answered either. We get lunches for those without and maybe 2 spares. We do meds checks, review the risk assessment and children to be kept out of photos etc. Toilet runs, everyone in coats, sometimes put DC in suitable shoes (i.e. pumps) if they're in something inappropriate, sort out coats, high vis vests, pairings and allocate lead adult to each group of children.

We try to check every child has a bag of food which at least resembles a lunch I.e. drink, sandwich and fruit.

I love helping on trips and doing some of the nice stuff with DC but they're bloomin hard work.

It's sad for your DD that having been under the weather she didn't eat a sandwich but is this a battle to pick or one to let go?

What will improve for you going in - she can't get that meal back, will school then ban snacks from trips and it be school food only to keep it simple?

Will the teacher think bother it when the next trip opportunity arrives and that trip just doesnt happen?

arethereanyleftatall · 24/06/2018 21:39

Op. Imagine for arguments sake you had requested your dd a lunch, and also packed her a lunch. So your dd had to carry around two lunches all day. She then possibly ate double. Would you be complaining that your poor dd was forced to carry extra and how ridiculous to give her two lunches?
I'm guessing you would.

elephantscanring · 24/06/2018 21:39

Op, so your dd had sports day the day before the trip, where she caught a ‘sniffle’ and her throat that was so sore that she couldn’t eat anything but soft fruit, the next day she could only eat fruit for breakfast - but she went on the trip and would have been able to manage a whole lunch? There’s no difference between an oat bar and a sandwich.

Plus, that’s the shortest ‘sniffle ‘ in history.

Plus, you don’t catch a cold by being cold. That’s an old wives’ tale. A cold is a virus.

I would not bother the school over this. Or over the PE incident. You sound like hard work.

Nothisispatrick · 24/06/2018 21:40

There is no bloody list for checking!

Yes there is, our kitchen often write the names of the children they're for on the bag. Also a pp said something about waste, the lunch would've been pre made so was wasted either way.

I think YABVVVU on the sports day thing. 1. Children do not catch cold from getting a bit chilly in mid fucking June. 2. Year 1 and 2 children should be able to think 'oh I'm a bit cold, I'll get my jumper', she's not a preschooler, 3. If she feels the heat then why would she want to be bundled up in, again, mid fucking June, while doing sport.

I agree with you on the lunch thing but the sports day thing makes you sound like 'that parent'. Schools are not forced to offer these fun activities and special events for children and parents, and when people like you just piss and moan it makes us feel like maybe we shouldn't bother!

Original poster
LilQueenie · 24/06/2018 21:42

^You mention that she feels the heat easily yet complain that she’s out doing sports in a t-shirt and leggings?
And isn’t bundled up? Maybe because she’s feeling the heat?^

No she was shivering. It was really cold wind. her jacket would have been fine. Everyone else had one including the teachers.I know I was there.

OP posts:
wouldyoujudgeme · 24/06/2018 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LilQueenie · 24/06/2018 21:44

^Op. Imagine for arguments sake you had requested your dd a lunch, and also packed her a lunch. So your dd had to carry around two lunches all day. She then possibly ate double. Would you be complaining that your poor dd was forced to carry extra and how ridiculous to give her two lunches?
I'm guessing you would.^

nope I never packed her a lunch

OP posts:
BackforGood · 24/06/2018 21:44

Excellent post by RippleEffects

Adambarlow · 24/06/2018 21:46

Was she incapable of saying “I’m hungry, where’s my lunch?”

elephantscanring · 24/06/2018 21:46

And op, kids need breakfast before school. Studies have shown that their concentration and attention are much better if they have breakfast. Plus, you know, they won’t be hungry...

wouldyoujudgeme · 24/06/2018 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grumpy4squash · 24/06/2018 21:48

If dd is 6 and therefore in year 1, don't all the kids get lunch provided? Not just those that would qualify for FSM?

StarUtopia · 24/06/2018 21:50

Your child is hardly going to have starved. Really don't see the issue. You were the one who confused the school and the teachers.

Clairetree1 · 24/06/2018 21:50

The same sniffle she came down with the day before when she was in the wind wearing only a tshirt and leggings for sports day. and yes I had provided her with a jumper and a sports jacket. how hard is it for a teacher to ensure a child has adequate clothing on before doing outdoor activities

This would not cause "a sniffle" - nor is it the teachers responsibility to tell her to put her jumper on if she is cold

wouldyoujudgeme · 24/06/2018 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LilQueenie · 24/06/2018 21:52

Well, why didnt she put her jumper on then?

she had it on half an hour previous when I dropped her off

I would not bother the school over this. Or over the PE incident. You sound like hard work.

I didn't nor will I be saying anything about the sports day. The whole post is nothing to do with that.

OP posts:
Clairetree1 · 24/06/2018 21:52

most pack lunches provided for children on school trips are turned down. Nothing unusual in that. We sort out dozens and dozens, and less than half are actually wanted, even if parents have ticked the box. Teachers quite often end up carrying many of the spares anyway, so if she had changed her mind she could have most likely asked for it.

wouldyoujudgeme · 24/06/2018 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clairetree1 · 24/06/2018 21:53

The most worrying thing on this thread is that your dd apparently isn't eating breakfast regularly.

That is very poor