aibu or is the school

[LilQueenie]

I paid for a school trip (not expensive) and ticked the box for the school to prepare a packed lunch for DD. this was optional but we choose it.

On the day DD was recovering from a sore throat. (had little if anything to eat the day before only managing soft fruit) The trip would last the full school day so I popped a banana, 2 small oranges and a couple oat bars (dds request) into her bag. They all have water daily. This was to ensure she had at least something she could eat if whatever was in the packed lunch was hurting her throat and also as a breaktime snack. Again if the oat bar hurt her she had a choice of fruit.

DD came home upset as she had not been given the packed lunch by school as she already had food in her bag. aibu to think school should not have withheld the packed lunch that was their duty to provide. DD's throat was fine. The back had been pre-packed the night before and we were not even sure if she would be attending the school trip at that point.

I do not think what I put in her bag could be seen to be a 'packed lunch'. No way would I have sent her with that if it had been.

I think you should speak to the teacher

Sounds like you've made your mind up though

Yes, awful. Contact the head. It's outrageous !

And yes

If you doubted her ability to eat a school packed lunch then she probably wasn't well enough to go to school.

I was going to ask you if it was about the free school meals - ours do this, you have to let them know in advance and they will do a packed lunch instead of the school meal for the child, and you've said it is. So they would have been expecting to provide her lunch, it's not a whole-class lots-of-lunches-to-hand-out thing.

I think they should have given her the packed lunch - but it's not their fault your DD hadn't eaten the day before or had a good breakfast.

P.S Do they serve hedgehog sandwiches at your school?

I too wouldn't have sent on a trip if poorly/just recovering and not eating much.
Unfortunately, the teachers aren' mind readers, and unless you communicate they aren't going to know your intention.
I soon learned to send a note for everything.
How old is your dd?

She feels the heat easy yet you are complaining that she wasn't bundled up? Don't you think that might be because she feels the heat easy?

Not when she is sitting in a gale no. She barely ran most of it was standing in line or sitting down for an hour.

How do you not know if she ate lunch the day before? Did you not keep her off? And if it wasn't you that was looking after her, because she was sick, didn't you ask if she had eaten?

Because she had a school dinner. She fine in the morning it was that evening she refused to eat and when questioned she was evasive which usually means no or not a lot. Thats why I was going to keep her off next day but she was actually ok.

It is entirely possible DD did put her hand up to say yes she had food but she often has a little anxiety about speaking up at times. Not always. I don't want to blame school and I don't want to blame DD but yes I was angry she was upset and angry she wasn't provided with lunch.

If you were concerned she couldn’t eat a cheese sandwich why would you send hard, dry cereal bars?
If your child was unwell why did you let her go? It is not up to a six year old; it’s parental responsibility to make the decision.
Of course she should have been offered a lunch but might have declined it. She seems to have survived so maybe put it down to experience and miscommunication - on both parts.
Let it go!

P.S Do they serve hedgehog sandwiches at your school?

Have you tried to eat bread when it hurts your throat? I think I may have caught it actually as the roof of my mouth has been feeling that way today.

It sounds like there might have been a mix up over the giving out of the packed lunch.
You could go in and ask - although ask yourself what you or dd would gain by doing that.
At the end of the day, if sh'ed been on a school trip I suspect she'd have been gone less than 2 hours. Even if the lunch did go astray, she still had a banana, 2 small oranges and a couple oat bars between breakfast and mid afternoon when you'd have collected her. Not exactly starving. Of course, she was more hungry than she might have been as you'd not ensured she had a proper breakfast, despite knowing that she'd not had an evening meal the night before (which you knew, but the teacher didn't).

Why does this need to go anywhere ?

and don't even start me on the clothes thing.

Oh give over now

I’m with you on this one OP. If I tick the box that says give my child a packed lunch, then I expect my child to get given a packed lunch. Regardless of whether I have packed her extra food or not. But as there are two sides to a story, ask the teacher’s version first before you take any further action (if that’s how you want to deal with it).

LilQueenie
I did mention to a teacher that she was better apart from the sniffle she still had and to ask that she didnt get too hot being somewhat bundled up. She feels the heat easy.

Ok.

The same sniffle she came down with the day before when she was in the wind wearing only a tshirt and leggings for sports day. and yes I had provided her with a jumper and a sports jacket. how hard is it for a teacher to ensure a child has adequate clothing on before doing outdoor activities

Huh???

Too hot, too cold. They're teachers! Not slaves. Your child doesn't need a heat controlled bubble.

*6 hours.... don't know where '2' came from

Yes they shouls have given her lunch. Same as on a normal school day even if she has brought snacks in. My ds often has snacks in his bag (one for break two for after school). He still gets lunch.

I'd guess that the teacher collected the school packed lunches from the kitchen or that somebody else brought them to the classroom. She would have given them out, seen that your dd had a lunchbox (naturally assumed that it contained a lunch) and asked your dd if she'd rather have the school packed lunch or her own packed lunch from home.

I teach Year 1 and although this hasn't happened to me on a trip it has happened at on-site events such as school picnics. Children sometimes order a school packed lunch and then parents either forget that they'd ordered one or children decide on the day that they want one from home. There are no cost implications for parents if children don't eat the school packed lunch that was ordered as children in foundation, year 1 and year 2 are entitled to free school dinners.

There is no bloody list for checking!

When the kids walk through the door we would see the ones with nothing will have a lunch. If I saw a child with a bag full of fruit and oatbars I would think that the parent had sent lunch, especially if idiot parent hadn't told me that it was a 'back up lunch' in case the provided one hurt her throat.
Considering our school's provided packed lunch is a sandwich and fruit your ridiculous oatbars are much worse. Plus the kids carry their own lunch. So she would have to carry 2 bags or muggins here would be carrying one of them.

as I said she was feeling better, well enough to go to school. It was an outdoor trip so I bundled her a little. She normally removes her jumper by the end of the day I asked her not to unless she really needed to. I said to the teacher why I did so and asked that she was kept an eye on that she didn't overheat. The teacher is well aware that she can faint if too hot but clearly I cant do right for her.

Oh right, more 'anxiety'.

So the child didn't have breakfast before going to school? Did the teacher know this?

At my school we pick up the fsm lunches from the kitchen and put them on the coach. 9 times out of 10 the lunches are binned because the kids either turn their nose up at them, already have something so refuse it or don't want to be different to their friends and have the school lunch rather than their own. We have also had kids who don't want the others to know they are fsm and have refused to take them because of this ( it's usually a sandwich, drink, fruit and flapjack in a paper bag). Is it possible that any of these scenarios could have happened? Or did your daughter just think that because she had food she didn't need the school one ?