aibu or is the school

[LilQueenie]

I paid for a school trip (not expensive) and ticked the box for the school to prepare a packed lunch for DD. this was optional but we choose it.

On the day DD was recovering from a sore throat. (had little if anything to eat the day before only managing soft fruit) The trip would last the full school day so I popped a banana, 2 small oranges and a couple oat bars (dds request) into her bag. They all have water daily. This was to ensure she had at least something she could eat if whatever was in the packed lunch was hurting her throat and also as a breaktime snack. Again if the oat bar hurt her she had a choice of fruit.

DD came home upset as she had not been given the packed lunch by school as she already had food in her bag. aibu to think school should not have withheld the packed lunch that was their duty to provide. DD's throat was fine. The back had been pre-packed the night before and we were not even sure if she would be attending the school trip at that point.

I do not think what I put in her bag could be seen to be a 'packed lunch'. No way would I have sent her with that if it had been.

Does she not have breakfast every day then ? Or just this day ?

idiot parent

is it any wonder I feel maybe school is at fault if that is how teachers are speaking on a forum about parents! Shame on you.

Your DD has already said she’s confused about what happened.

Considering she hadn’t eaten the day before, you should’ve made sure she had a decent breakfast if only as a test of whether she was really well enough to go.

You could just write it off as a miscommunication and be glad that at least DD had the food you’d sent with her.

Since you don’t seem like the reasonable type, of you must speak to the teacher, go in with the approach of “DD is a bit confused about the packed lunch thing on the trip” rather than “you didn’t feed my child for 24 hours” Especially since though school are only responsible for one missed meal, the rest are down to illness and you.

The bits about her being too hot and also too cold, while every other child was appropriately dressed are nonesensical. If every other child was dressed appropriately for a breezy summer day, chances are your DD had exactly the same reminders as they did and either forgot, didn’t listen, or chose to ignore them.

especially if idiot parent hadn't told me that it was a 'back up lunch' in case the provided one hurt her throat.

Wow Mookie that was a really unnecessary and unpleasant response to OP. If you don't have a list that's an organisational failing - how is OP meant to know the school doesn't keep a list? OP's DD didn't have a back up lunch what she had in her bag was snacks. Lots of kids bring extra snacks into school even when they know a lunch is going to be provided. The school should have checked she had a full lunch not just snacks.

In terms of the OP's actual question it was probably an innocent mix up although a bit odd to be honest. DS's school always has a list of who is having lunch provided for them and who is meant to bring their own and I really can't see this happening. I would probably question it politely with the school (to avoid it happening to anyone else more than anything) then just take it as a lesson learned.

In reception we have to assess 'health and self care'; examples include children knowing if they're too hot or cold and asking to take off their jumper or putting their coat on at playtime. Unless your child has additional needs the teacher has got better things to do (teaching during the trip, ensuring children are safe and monitoring helpers, etc) to check your precious's temp throughout the day!

I don't get why you're getting all the flack Op. You signed up for a packed lunch and your DD didn't get one.

Everything else is irrelevant!

If you sent food in with her then I dont see why you expected the school to also provide food. That would be a waste

The school knew she needed a lunch in advance so I'd guess would have already made it up if the trip was for a full day, presumably it was wasted when the dd wasn't given it

She faints if she gets to hot, but she is too cold without a jumper, and being wrapped up stops her cold from getting worse?

Shame on yourself, you're mostly to blame here.
We have enough to do without added crap off parents who behave as if their child is the only one in the class.
Nom not harsh at all. You don't have a bloody clue what we have to put up with on a daily basis.
This forum is my opportunity to let it out anonymously so I don't explode!

I agree with you OP. No idea why you're getting a hard time.

I work in a school office and arrange a lot of trips. Our parents have the choice of sending a packed lunch or getting one from school, they let us know in advance (most of the time). We provide one for everyone who requests one, if a child then brings one from home then we have a spare, which would go on the trip anyway. Handy to have if someone loses theirs or something like that.

But I would also check with the scjp that your DDs version of events is accurate. Parents jumping the gun when DC go home and say this or that happened is just embarrassing, in most cases it hasn't happened anything like that.

A couple of pieces of fruit and oat bars is NOT a lot of food. Children burn calories at a much faster rates than adults, and there aren't a lot of calories in fruit.

The school was out of order, especially if you'd paid for the lunch. I would have words.

*check with the school

At most she missed out on a sandwich.

If she is not getting dressed properly for outside activities and finds asking for lunch etc tricky, maybe arrange to see the teacher about this - your daughter might need a bit of prompting around organising and confidence.

And make sure she has breakfast! It’s really, really important in terms of children being able to get the most of their time at school.

"There is no bloody list for checking! "

So what's the point of asking parents to tick a box for one to be provided?

Wow there are some horrible people on this post who are all unreasonable and clearly didn't read the op correctly.
You are jot unreasonable Op, she should have had her lunch as you ticked the box and she is free school meals and at 6 if she refused I would expect a teacher just to let you know she didn't take it. But because you don't really know what happened I wouldn't go in all guns blazing just have a chat to the teacher see what happened and see what can be done to avoid this in future.

At the end of the day op ordered a lunch for her dd. She should of got a lunch. Doesn't matter about extra food etc. It was ordered she should of got it. She is only six fgs!!!!

I have read the thread and it doesn't seem to have been am overnight trip, so how is it the schools fault she didn't eat for 24 hours? At worst she didn't have 2 lunches but I can easily see that is an innocent mistake.

Also I dont see how its a teachers fault that a a child isn't to hot or to cold but is just right?

So when we do a school trip I get a list of the children who have ordered a lunch. Usually at least half of them have brought their own lunch with them. In which case they don't want to be carrying 2 lunches around all day one of which they won't eat.

I find out by asking them individually if they need the school packed lunch. At 6 I do expect them to be able to tell me yes or no.

I then also take at least 1 of the now 'spare' lunches with me (in my already overloaded back pack). So another opportunity for a child to speak up if they don't have enough food. And again, at 6 I expect them to be able to do that (especially at this point in the school year when we all know each other well).

The too hot / too cold thing is confusing op.

Probably you need to let this one go and communicate better with the teacher (& your dd!) in future.

I think the school are at fault. She was down for a packed lunch, so they should have given it to her. Regardless of what 'extras' she had. If anything like my school, most of it would have been eaten on the coach anyway.

Plus, to be honest, despite what PP's are saying, is not a lot of food really. 2 oat bars, 2 satsumas and a banana. That's hardly much considering she hadn't eaten much the day before.

Re: the clothing the day before, cold didn't make you ill, germs do so her getting I'll can't be blamed on that.

Ours have to carry all they take themselves, so it's always very clear, home lunch in a plastic bag, or school lunch in a plastic bag, to be disposed of after lunch. If she already had a bag with her, it's fairly reasonable to not give her another bag to carry.

I'm afraid though op, you're coming across as one of those parents who makes a fuss about everything. This really really doesn't help your daughter. And, anecdotal of course, all the parents I know who have dc with little anxieties, are all similar to this.

Mookie I don't for a minute expect special treatment for DD. I do however expect her to have the same rights as everyone else. Take your anger out on the parents of your class that irritate you personally not me.

You mention that she feels the heat easily yet complain that she’s out doing sports in a t-shirt and leggings?
And isn’t bundled up? Maybe because she’s feeling the heat?

how hard is it for a teacher to ensure a child has adequate clothing on before doing outdoor activities

Sorry isn't this the parents responsibility?