WWYD - landed with whole bill for cake.

[Halloolah]

As title says, this is more of a WWYD but posting here for traffic...

My DH's BIL recently had a significant birthday. His wife (my SIL) organised a big party. She was let down quite late by the people sorting the birthday cake. My Mum makes cakes semi-professionally (i.e. she makes them properly, but doesn't advertise and takes word of mouth requests), so we offered to ask if she could help and explained that this way would be cheaper than going to a cake shop. SIL said yes please, my Mum offered to make it at cost price as a favour to relatives (although my parents and in laws don't particularly know each other well and have only met once or twice).

It then turned out that the cake needed to be huge (over 150 portions) and so more of a 3 tiered wedding cake size. Mum priced it as £120 (the cost of materials, icing, cake boards etc), DH and
I offered to pay £50 towards the cost. This is much more than we'd normally spend on a present but we figured that it was a significant birthday. SIL happy with this arrangement.

Mum made the cake, it took her about four days of intense, full-time work as was intricately decorated, it looked absolutely amazing, tasted great and very well received by everyone. However, at the party itself SIL kept saying 'thank you so much to you and your mum for the cake' as if the whole thing was a gift. BIL was also very grateful. Party was over a week ago and no offer of money has been made. As I didn't want my Mum to be out of pocket, we've paid her the full amount (our £50 plus another £70) and pretended it was from SIL.

But what should we do about chasing up the £70? My DH wants to have a word with his sister as he feels the arrangements were very clear and she's being a bit cheeky. I worry that this could cause a 'thing' in the family. SIL is lovely, so I think (hope!) this is a genuine oversight rather than CFery but it's all just very awkward. WWYD?

Definitely ask her.

You say she's 'lovely' so will be happy to pay you when your husband has explained.

I would definitely ask her. Your relationship won't be the same again if you don't say something.

Yep people do think creative people will donate for free.
I remember someone finding out that I can sew and made dd1s dance outfit.
Even though she was just an acquaintance, she said oh I'm glad I know that as you can make my dcs dance outfits. I swiftly told her no, by the time you have paid for my time it will cost less for you to but it straight from the shop.

She seemed to think I'd d i it at cost, I way.

She’s trying it on the cheeky 🐮

Berlind good that you put CF in her place straight away, or you would be making free ordirt cheap dance outfits for ever more.

I wouldn't let it go, you were decent to help your mum out of it which was really nice of you but you need to recoup it, just be straight about it - it was all agreed beforehand, after all.

Send the following message: "You remember my Mum offered to do the cake for cost price which was £120. As you know, we paid £50 as our gift, so that leaves a balance of £70 for you to pay to my mum. Thanks."

The people that approach a semi-professional or professional about mate's rates are usually the sort that will rip the piss out of them over the cost of parts or ingredients and be the sort who claim not to know the price of butter or eggs or flour and think leccy and a person's time are free.

Hopefully it's just been an oversight and she hasn't assumed it was a gift from your DM. I think the communication could have been clearer tbh especially in the context of her friend's previously offering to provide the cake.

You're not wrong, Werk

I work in a bit of a niche job, self employed. Another local business owner asked me for a mates rates job as we were both in the same facebook group - a closed one that is for local businesses to talk amongst themselves; one that had a weekly theme, guess what the theme of the week was the previous week?

Sometimes brass neckedness just leaks out of people!

guess what the theme of the week was the previous week?

I must be thick because I haven't the foggiest idea 😟

Sorry - we were all sharing stories about the cheekiest Mates Rate request we had. We made an impressive list of reasons why we, as ethical business people, would never ask for Mates Rates... he'd been quite vocal, adding reasons why no small business should ever give them!

So has SIL replied?

Has Sil paid you?

That's a ridiculously high amount of money for a cake!! Especially at 'mates rates'!

Ignorant and completely laughable. Shows you don't have a clue about the cost of ingredients and equipment, never mind time. Sadly there are always people like this.

Haloolah
If your sil and bil invited approx 150 people to a party £70 is a very small part of the cost of said party.
I hope you get your money.

Failingat40

Im doing a 3 tier cake soon to feed at least 100. So far I have just spent:
£51.30 on Lurpak butter for it, both for the sponge and the buttercream.
£10 on eggs
£4.50 on self raising flour
£1.50 on plain flour
£5 on jam
£25 on fondant
£5 on ribbons
£12 on cake boards (both for under each tier and the main display boards)
£5 on dowels
£30 on flower paste for the flowers

So far that comes to £144....still think £120 is a mad sum to spend on a 3 tier cake??

And you think £120 is a ridicolous amount for the whole cake?

@LagunaBubbles RTFT!!

How did it go?

I'd be really upset if after a few days and no follow up that I was being described as a "chancer", a "cheeky mare" and someone who probably pissed off the original cake maker so much that they decided not to provide the cake just because in the aftermath of organising a party for 120 people that I had forgotten to give my brother £70.

Are people as quick to jump to negative assumptions in RL?

Have you contacted SIL yet, OP?

I did read the thread thanks.

And no boards can't be returned and washed either.

@OlennasWimple yes. Because if it wasn't family you'd have paid straight away. Cf of the highest order. You always pay family back first.