Where’s the useby date on this condom?

[ShitHelpMe]

I’ve just found this. And it sure as fuck isn’t for me.
So either it’s a very old condom or he’s having or planning an affair.

I can only see a LOT number and some other numbers.

Please help before I confront him.

You really have made your point.

And it’s less than ideal because

He MOVED IN at the end of 2015

Please can you stop now? PLEASE.

You went on dates with other people, why is it less than ideal if he did too? Seriously, you're not coming across very well OP.

I meant why was it less than ideal for him to go on other dates with other people but ok for you to go on a couple of dates during that period?

If the reason it was less ideal was because he moved in at the end of 2015 then why were you still going on dates with other people?

Do you talk to him the way you're talking to people on here?

ITS LESS THAN IDEAL IF HE BOUGHT THE CONDOMS IN 2015!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE THATS THE YEAR HE MOVED IN!!!!!!!!!

Ffs leave the op alone, she's pregnant she's found a condom and people on here saying it's her fault cos she's not talking nicely to posters

Like I said above, the trust has gone from both sides.

What do you actually want to do now? If you have proof that it's an old condom, will that reassure you enough to welcome him back? Would he want to after you suspected him and sent him away?

ITS LESS THAN IDEAL IF HE BOUGHT THE CONDOMS IN 2015!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE THATS THE YEAR HE MOVED IN!!!!!!!

YOU WERE STILL GOING ON DATES WITH OTHER PEOPLE!

No you said "I wasn't sleeping with anyone else, but I did go a couple of dates. But yes I guess he could have been sleeping with other people. Less than ideal given that was the time he wanted me back. But yes it could have been from then."

You implied that at that point in time you went on a couple of dates hence why I asked why was ok for you to go on dates but it was less than ideal for him to during the time you were dating. If it was less than ideal because he was moving in then you shouldn't have been going on dates.

OP, you probably don’t intend to but your posts have been less than clear and people can only go off what you tell them. You’ve also been pretty aggressive and sarcastic to people.
I’m not sure whether this thread is helping you in what is obviously an extremely upsetting and stressful situation, but if you’re going to get the most out of MN support-wise then you might want to take a few deep breaths, try and post calmly and explain the background and context a bit more instead of getting snippy with everyone.
I say this in a genuinely well intended manner.

Come on this is all getting a bit harsh. She's clearly upset so I don't think the blame game is what's needed here. Maybe some advice or back off?

@ShitHelpMe Some people seem to just come on MN to have a pop at people.

I would try to calm yourself down and not let your imagination run wild. There may be a perfectly reasonable explanation or he may genuinely not know when he bought it. Maybe wait until you've both calmed down and then have a face to face chat about it. Give him chance to explain and then go from there. If you have no other reason to suspect that he's cheating then try to be calm and hear what he says.

Hope you're alright. Take care of yourself and the bubba. Stress will not help the little one so try to stay calm.

Hi OP

I’m so sorry your going through this, pregnant as well which doesn’t help when hormones are flying round.

Whether the condom is old or new and finding out dates isn’t really going to help. If it was old, do you think it would have occurred to him that it might have expired??

If you don’t feel as though he is being truthful about the condom then there is no much you can do in terms of finding out the exact truth on this matter. Even if you manage to find out expiration from the manufacturer it will still only give you an idea of things it won’t exonerate him nor confirm his guilt.

As for the chest lock, a safety pin or sewing needle will do the trick. At the bottom of the lock there will be a wall hole into which you insert the pin, it takes some time and jiggling but the lock should open. I’ve had to do this twice to get into my suitcase when working away from home. Once with a key padlock which I lost to key for, so I bought a combination lock and when one of the number wheels wouldn’t turn I had to break into that one too. Picking the lock won’t break the padlock, just open it.

I hope you manage to find some peace of mind.

small hole not wall hole

I thought it was top left and says 15/04/97 which would make it over 20 years old!

OP it all does sound suspicious - locked chest, lies, blowing up, stomping out - he's making it all about you rather than him

You aren't going mad and he's acting strangly.

If I were you I wouldn't be trying to unlock the chest because if, as you say, he's blaming you for it all, you'll just make yourself look unhinged. If he is guilty of something and you break up, men (or women) with guilt love nothing more than telling everyone their story of "woe" with a "crazy" ex.

I would invite him back, talk, and get him to open the chest in front of you. Then if he is innocent you can put it down to just needing piece of mind whilst feeling fragile pregnant and if he's not innocent then well, you'll soon know if he won't open the chest. He'll then feed you phrases like "if you loved me you wouldn't be asking to go through my things" etc. No, if he loved you he would do all he can to reassure your mind.

There’s no way I’m asking him to open the chest. He would without a shadow of a doubt, use that as a stick to beat me with - whether he chose to open it or not.

I said a while back on this thread that I’ve no interest in opening the chest. It only initially pricked my attention because that’s where it came from so there must be more in there and I wanted to find it their useby date, but I can just contact the company for that.

And for what it’s worth FuckPants there’s 12 months in a year.

Fucking wonderful.

Neither of us here has a locked anything - why aren't you interested in what's in there

Why would he use it as a stick to beat you with? It's perfectly reasonable to ask him to open it under the circumstances to ease your mind, especially pregnant and vulnerable.

I'm thinking about my dp and what he would do. I think he would open it to prove there was nothing untoward and he would understand my reasoning. My ex however, he would say things like "but if you loved me you wouldn't ask" and "you don't trust me," because he was good at manipulating me into thinking I was unhinged even though he was in the wrong.

I would open it if asked. But then feel I'd been controlled and emotionally abused.

Because he’s never given me reason to doubt him, and whilst the condom has cast doubt, I genuinely don’t think anything of interest is in there.

He would probably open it, about at me that there’s nothing there, slam it and storm out then sulk for the rest of the day then bring it up in any future arguments for the rest of time.
No way would he think it was reasonable to ask.

He never does anything wrong, ever. I’m always the guilty party no matter what’s happened. I don’t think I’ve ever known him to appologise for something he has said or done or take responsibility for being a bit of a dick sometimes - I’m a bit of a dick sometimes but I acknowledge it and appologise and reflect.

He doesn’t. He’s innocent. Never does anything wrong.

He would use me asking about the chest to beat me with, believe me.

The condom issue aside, it doesn't sound like you are happy in your relationship and he doesn't sound particularly nice.

I know what it's like to be with men who sulk, blame their partner, act petulant, be aggressive and much worse.

Sounds like you need to really think about what you want and whether this man is worth it with you being treated in the way you describe .