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AIBU?

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Original poster

Where’s the useby date on this condom?

158 replies

ShitHelpMe · 23/06/2018 15:43

I’ve just found this. And it sure as fuck isn’t for me.
So either it’s a very old condom or he’s having or planning an affair.

I can only see a LOT number and some other numbers.

Please help before I confront him.

OP posts:
QuackPorridgeBacon · 23/06/2018 21:31

I think you need to calm down. For one he hasn’t walked out on you, you told him to go. If you get this angry towards him then I can see why he did as he was told and left. You need to calm down and think about what you are trying to accuse him of. You have said he’s given no reason to think this before now.

Original poster
ShitHelpMe · 23/06/2018 21:51

I am calmer now.

But I confronted him about his explanation that it was for to use. He’s basically admitted that it wasn’t. He said it doesn’t matter who it was for, that it’s old and I’m just doing this to play the victim.

But if he lied in the first place claiming that he got it for us to use, then how can I believe anything he said after that?

Trying to get into the combination lock was a massive fail. I’m not even bothering with that now. It probably is just paperwork.
I will just wait until the Mate company email me back.

I

OP posts:
KlutzyDraconequus · 23/06/2018 21:52

Combination padlocks.

It takes some practice and patience but it works. It also works with bike cable locks.

Original poster
ShitHelpMe · 23/06/2018 21:58

That was the first one I tried Klutzy and that lock is almost identical.

But when I try it, it doesn’t make one of number rings stiff, it makes all of them totally impossible to move at all.

There’s another one I saw where a guy just slides this metal thing across the third ring and it just pops open. But that lock was really different from this one, and I don’t have that weird device that he’s using.

Plus if I really am in the wrong here, should I really be going through his stuff? I never would normally. I’ve never been through his phone or even considered that kind of thing before.

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 23/06/2018 22:17

Can you just start with (for example 0001, 0002, 0003 etc) until it opens, may take some time but you'll get it eventually.

KlutzyDraconequus · 23/06/2018 22:19

I think.. and I'll be in the minority I guess but, once the actions have caused suspicions then seeking evidence is justified.

If I were you I'd ask him for the combination. If it's just papers that men nothing he'll have no problems giving you the code.

DerelictWreck · 23/06/2018 22:36

Can you just start with (for example 0001, 0002, 0003 etc) until it opens, may take some time but you'll get it eventually.

May take some time?! It's 10,000 different options!

Lundi · 23/06/2018 22:53

Can you just start with (for example 0001, 0002, 0003 etc) until it opens, may take some time but you'll get it eventually.

Bah ha ha ha ha

Original poster
ShitHelpMe · 23/06/2018 23:01

Klutzy I hear what you’re saying. But if I’m wrong, then it’s going to make me really wrong once I do that.

And he’s never given me any suspicions before. If he had then I would be going in no questions asked.

I still think it’s totally dodgy that he tried to claim the condom was for our use.
But it does look old. I really really need to find out when it was manufactured.

OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 23/06/2018 23:07

I went away for work for a week and when I came back found a condom wrapper on the floor of the bedroom at DPs side of the bed. I was going apeshit till i realised it was one we used and we couldn't find the wrapper (it had disappeared under the bed and worked it's way back out) and the fact it was the same brand as the box in my drawer and they are all accounted for.

So it may be innocent.

GrandTheftWalrus · 23/06/2018 23:09

However on the other hand I found a used condom in the bathroom of my old flat with exh and he tried to say we used it.

We hadn't used condoms in years due to ttc.

Original poster
ShitHelpMe · 23/06/2018 23:11

I’m glad it was innocent with you Grand but that’s not a possibility with us. We have never used condoms. It’s an actual impossibility that it’s ours. Which is why it’s so ridiculous of him to have suggested that he bought it for us to use!

OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 23/06/2018 23:15

Ah I see. I'm sorry then op

Greenyogagirl · 23/06/2018 23:20

how old are your kids? Could it be one of theirs and he’s assuming it fell out of chest or rucksack because he’s just as confused as you? Or was given it at a bar and shoved it in a pocket without really thinking?
It seems doubtful that he would place a condom in the middle of the floor for you to find. If he’s given you no reason to be suspicious then I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.
However talking to his ex and being that spiteful to you with regards to your miscarriage isn’t right at all

wombat1a · 23/06/2018 23:22

Let's see, you were together, you broke up, you or him then saw other people. You get back together, he thinks something might happen but because one or other of you have been with someone else decides to play safe and get some condoms. He being sensible gets them, you don't use them, a few years later an old one gets found, you go mad and kick him out? Could this be a fair summary?

HollowTalk · 23/06/2018 23:26

If he bought it for you to use, surely it would be in a box and not on its own under some clothes?

ManchesterGin · 23/06/2018 23:42

This kind of thing would send my mind into overdrive. Sorry you have to go through this.

CherriesAndLemonade · 23/06/2018 23:42

Maybe it's from a long time ago and he was intending to use it with someone and then changed his mind? From his text he knows but feels it's not worth saying cos it's immaterial now?

Motherwell91 · 24/06/2018 00:06

If your preganat and in a faithful realtionship with no risk of sti.... why WOULD you need comdoms? His story does not.add up. So sorry op

Tiredmumno1 · 24/06/2018 00:11

Yeah I suppose it would take a while to get to 10,000 Grin

Wouldn't have been so bad if it was three dials Smile

LuluJakey1 · 24/06/2018 01:22

I would need an answer to this and DH could get his pants in as big a knot as he liked over feeling I was making a fuss, I would have to have an answer.

GinDaddy · 24/06/2018 06:02

The bit I’m confused about here is this:

If he bought them to use with you, then he’ll have the rest of them somewhere.

Is this what you mean by wanting to look in his storage chest?

In which case isn’t it easier to ask him “hi, ok thank you for thinking of our contraception years ago. Where is the rest of them?”

If he’s not used them, he’ll walk over to a drawer or the chest and boom it’s innocent enough.

If he has used them, or he’s being secretive? It’s a bit trickier.

Imbluedabadee · 24/06/2018 07:32

I think he must have put it there deliberately for you to find! Does he gaslight you a lot?

Thanks I hope you're ok

NanooCov · 24/06/2018 08:25

I'm confused with the timeline but from your posts, it seems you moved in together at the end of 2015. Since then you have married, had two children and are pregnant again.

So if the expiry is 2020, the manufacturing dat could plausibly be 2016 if they have a shelf life of 4 years. Late 2015 at best. You said in your posts that you yourself were "keeping your options open" - when would you say your relationship became exclusive? If he bought it for use in late 2015 with someone else but before you moved in together, would that be problematic for you?

Original poster
ShitHelpMe · 24/06/2018 08:33

Wombat absolutely that could be the case. And I would have been more understanding of that, had he not lied and tried to claim they were for us to use.
Now I’m struggling to believe anything he says.

GinDaddy yes, that’s what I mean by wanting to look into his storage chest. And yes you’re absolutely right I should ask him in that manner. But right now, after the gaslighting and lies, I don’t want him anywhere near me and I definitely don’t want to ask him in a polite manner to ask him to open his chest. And I’ve absolutely no doubt that he would tell me to fuck the fuck off if I asked as well. Because he thinks Im the arsehole because he’s totally innocent.

OP posts: