DP got told off in the supermarket last night

[OnlyBaBaBiss]

DP went to the supermarket last night when he finished work, he took a couple of kids so I could bath the baby while he was gone so he took DD1(6) and DS2(2) with him

He said while he was there an old woman was laughing at something silly DS was doing (being a frog) and came over to say something to DP, he was expecting it to be something nice about DS so greeted her with a smile and got “he’s very sweet but honestly he’ll never learn to behave properly while you’re bringing him out at this time, take him home to bed!”

It wasn’t even 7pm!

DP said he was so surprised he just said “oh ok will do”
DD was so amused that Daddy got told off

AIBU to think that 7pm is not too late to have a 2 year old out ... on a Friday night ... in the summer! 🤦🏻‍♀️

British people are really weird about children's bedtimes.

And eating/mealtimes. There's another thread on here and the family eat their dinner at 8pm. People went off the rails asking why they eat so late and claiming they could never go to bed at 9 with such full stomachs. That the proper way is to eat dinner by 6pm at the latest, and sod it if you're still at work or your child is doing activities.

SleepingStandingUp perfect response on page 1. Good job!

friday night at 7 pm is fairly busy isnt it? in a supermarket?
anyway, yup, dad's in trouble by sweet old lady, kids found it amusing
all is well

"I have this image of angry MNers unable to read novels in their entirety because they'd be too busy circling descriptions of people and writing letters of complaint about how unnecessary such descriptions are when telling a story..."
You're not suggesting that this is fiction are you?
Incidentally, I would be pretty unimpressed to read somebody being described in a novel as "an old woman". What with it not conveying much useful information to me as a reader.....

One thing I've learnt since being in my 2 DSS' lives is that bed time is rarely for the child's sake. It's so the parents can have some flipping peace and quiet and eat the chocolate they've been hiding in an old cereal box in peace

Oh I love it when threads go like this. Has it got to the point where we are allowed to criticise absolutely anyone over pretty much anything that has annoyed us recently?

I got told off for calling my dog fat yesterday. She is fat. She’s had some injury issues and put weight on and now we need to exercise it off as she has improved and reducing her food to activity levels does bugger all. But I’m not allowed to call her fat.

Typically, people who feel the need and also feel the right/duty to go up to parents of young children and complain, are of an older generation......so the comment about an older lady is relevant, as firstly it was probably typical, but it is also relevant becaue the age of the speaker may well have influenced how the man responded. He was caught off guard and shocked and just rolled over and accepted waht shed said.....if it had been a younger person, possibly a man, then his reaction might have been different.

There are loads of these threads. We all know that what one parent consider slightly daft messing about or playing, is considered anti-social, annoying or downright dangerous by others. No one likes being criticised by others.

What to take forward from it?? Be aware that not everyone will feel as tolerant towards your children as you might. If someone speaks to you about their behviour, just take a deep breath and smile politely and move on. This is all that needs to be taken from these situations.

"In the dying embers of the day, an aged crone accosted me in the food hall. The flickering halogen played across every crevice of her rugate features, and every one told a story..."

Maybe your kid shouldn’t have been acting like a wild animal in the super market?

The OPs child was saying 'ribbit' and singing a song about bananas. Not rampaging like a herd of buffalo down the quinoa aisle.

Bert you havent addressed the fact the old woman was ageist yet.

Maybe your kid shouldn’t have been acting like a wild animal in the super market?

A frog? Hardly conjures images of a “wild animal”. Bit of slow walking, an occasional jump or croak.

I now have a mental image of frogs rampaging round the african savannah. Shattering herds of buffalo and lions escaping up trees..

I'm with Bertrand on this, no need for old.

And the fact that somebody immediately jumped in and defended it because 'She may have more generationally entrenched ideas about children's routines and fathers not knowing better. is the total point. It is 'old people have these views', so you are using 'old' as shorthand for 'a set of homogenous beliefs'.

What makes you imagine everyone over a certain age thinks the same? We all have different levels of education, different political outlooks, different upbringings as young people do. And guess what we all have the same ability to for our own opinions, our own morals and ethics and our own individual ideas on child rearing. Just like you do.

OK -said my piece, back to being an unthinking homogenous blob of oldness.

what gives you that impression? looking for an argument me thinks

I said the early bed time culture is culture, not age. You asked about other countries. I answered. Apparently that wasn't the right answer so you wanted another.

Honestly, read back through your own posts. I could ask my extended family who still live in France if they have changed child rearing habits. Or would that not be good enough either?

So what evidence do you have that its The One True Way rather than a cultural phenomenon?

oh my god @BertrandRussell is clearly one of the professionally offended.

I think to be out at 7pm is a little bit late for a 2 year old (as mine would be dropping asleep at that time) but mine would love it and i would do it occasionally, and it's definitely your choice obviously, and it would really annoy me if anybody commented on my children's routine and told me what to do without me asking for their advice.
i think saying the woman was "old" does set the scene and it explains her behaviour a bit really, all the people that have given me annoying and unhelpful "advice" when out with my twins have been old and i can only assume it's a generational thing.

I think it depends on your family routine. I haven’t been in a supermarket at 7pm since my first child was born 12 years ago.
Our bed time routines have always started at 6pm so kids are rarely out after that time unless we’ve had a day out to a beach or theme park or something. But general day to day stuff, never.

It would feel really weird for me to be out at 7pm with my 5 year old and I start getting anxious because the thought of him not getting to bed until 9 and me getting no quiet time bothers me.

Most frogs are wild animals, tbf

Crikey.. some of you lot would pick a row with your toenails just for the sake of it

I'm going to make a point of using old as a description from now on.

In reference to an above comment, I’m also one of those extremely inflexible people that was dinner before 5pm. 6 would be late and rare.
The thought of eating dinner at 7 or 8pm is alien to me and I don’t think I’ve ever done it in my life.
I sometimes think my life would be less stressful without all these routines and schedules.

I think young kids should be in a bath, story, bed by 730 routine when they are toddlers. They need lots of sleep if anything.

Commonarewe

I think young kids should be in a bath, story, bed by 730 routine when they are toddlers. They need lots of sleep if anything.

I think that's ridiculous because then they get up at 5. Why are British people so obsessed with these ridiculously early bedtimes, especially when they have such long days for several months a year?

Bit unrelated, but in my house the focus on routine is because i have 3 very young children, and if we ever deviate from the routine the house descends into utter chaos with overtired children screaming and laughing and being weird. If i had one i think i would be more flexible.

The thought of eating dinner at 7 or 8pm is alien to me and I don’t think I’ve ever done it in my life.

You've never travelled anywhere where the culture is different, or been delayed at work or doing something? Do you worry that your adherence to routines and schedules and anxiety around it will affect your kids? I would be.

They shouldn’t be getting up at 5 if they go to bed at 7.30. They need more sleep than that.
For me personally I’d rather have a few quiet hours in the evening and a child that gets up early.
I couldn’t bare to have my kids up til 9 (and even when I’ve tried that they still get up before 7)