DP got told off in the supermarket last night

[OnlyBaBaBiss]

DP went to the supermarket last night when he finished work, he took a couple of kids so I could bath the baby while he was gone so he took DD1(6) and DS2(2) with him

He said while he was there an old woman was laughing at something silly DS was doing (being a frog) and came over to say something to DP, he was expecting it to be something nice about DS so greeted her with a smile and got “he’s very sweet but honestly he’ll never learn to behave properly while you’re bringing him out at this time, take him home to bed!”

It wasn’t even 7pm!

DP said he was so surprised he just said “oh ok will do”
DD was so amused that Daddy got told off

AIBU to think that 7pm is not too late to have a 2 year old out ... on a Friday night ... in the summer! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Good post, User. "Good for that woman, and good for the dad", indeed.

The fact she was ‘old’ may have moderated his response to her, I agree, but why assume her views on childrearing might have been generationally ‘entrenched’? The word ‘entrenched’ suggests that because she was ‘old’ she probably was stubborn and immovable in her opinions. That is ageist, I think. The implication is that the fact she is ‘old’ (and what does that mean, there’s a big difference between 60 and 80) has a bearing on the validity of her opinion. Having said that, I don’t think she should have offered her opinion though, none of her business what time your children go to bed whatever her age, so, OP, YANBU about that.

During the week I like my daughter to be in by 6. She’s 7. However - with the long summer days we are often still at the allotment until 7pm.

At the weekend she can be up anywhere until midnight....last night we didn’t leave the allotment until 9:30. She was having a brilliant time with her friends.

Well said user!

Children playing at being a frog or whatever in a supermarket is my pet hate, supermarkets are not playgrounds, I am happy to be called a grumpy old woman but I can't stand gaggles of children 'playing' in supermarkets, last week a child was zooming round Sainsbury's on his scooter, totally oblivious to any other customers - parents looking on indulgently.

And yes, I wouldn't have taken my young DC to a supermarket at 7pm.

She should have minded her own business and no it’s definitley not too late

"and the fact she is old is exactly relevant why?"... bertrandrussells
Because how many 25/30year olds broach a parent and offer up such "welcome" advice?

Your dp’s response was great
Sometimes when old people make comments you just have to let it go over your head. I like to think they are giving advice. Obviously there are exceptions.

A woman in her 40s saying the same thing is clearly being a judgemental nosey cow bag though and would be getting short shrift from me.

You really can't generalise about age and assume that people's views on child care are "generationally entrenched". Women now in their 60s and 70s frequently brought up their children by reference to the works of Penelope Leach, who was very into co-sleeping, demand feeding and letting children set their own routine. By contrast, many more recent parents swear by Gina Ford whose views on strict routines for children would have brought tears of joy to battle-axe nannies over 100 years ago.

That is why references to this woman's age are completely irrelevant.

I haven’t read all replies, but mother in law (if still alive would be in her mid 90’s) always told me little children (up to secondary age) should be in bed by 6pm so Mum and dad have the evening child free. She said hers were always in bed by then. But they were also up at 5-6am. Too early up for me 😂 she was set in her ways. She gave up telling me in the end.

Women now in their 60s and 70s frequently brought up their children by reference to the works of Penelope Leach, who was very into co-sleeping, demand feeding and letting children set their own routine.

By contrast, many more recent parents swear by Gina Ford whose views on strict routines for children would have brought tears of joy to battle-axe nannies over 100 years ago.

...

That is why references to this woman's age are completely irrelevant.

But these statements contradict each other!

You're saying that, in both cases, the opinions of these two groups of people are a product of their time! So age here is not irrelevant but absolutely, totally relevant according to your statements.

What would be more accurate to say, would be "not everyone in their 60s and 70s shares this kind of inflexible thinking about ideas bedtimes especially as Penelope Leach was popular when they were parents."

I do think age can be relevant here though. Even though the younger generation includes lots of people who have read Gina Ford, that's not the same thing as feeling it's your role to educate people in supermarkets about how to parent!

Telling random strangers how to parent is something the older generation does more often than younger generations IME. This shouldn't be a surprise. Older people are more likely to feel it's their role to educate younger generations, that's the way of the world!

Well. Cause it’s always people older than you that think they know better or did it better in their day.

how many 25/30year olds broach a parent and offer up such "welcome" advice? - brilliant idea I think they should!! Clearly everyone needs lots of advice and Sainsburys is a really good place to give it.

BTW I am 56 and I HATE old people. When I go to my over 50s group I walk in and think FFS who are all these OLD people. Being the sort that goes up to people and spouts this crap must surely make you age quicker.

The complainer should try living in Greece. Children up til midnight on school nights!! Do a long sleep during day though.

Jesus- who cares? Have you really nothing better to do than worry about some woman who was probably trying to be helpful.

I am amazed how everybody assumed the focus was on the child not being in bed at 7 pm, rather than the child was making a playground from the supermarket and annoyed others

I dont give af what time your child goes to sleep just dont force their antics on me in public places such as supermarkets, restaurants, etc

let your child go wild in the park, playground, childrens party, at home..

"children will be children" is a popular excuse of parents who are not capable to properly supervise their children and get offended when somebody politely, like that old lady, points this out :)

My son caused havoc everywhere he went as a kid, it is a standing family joke. Yet he has a great career now and many who criticised him as child would just love to have a son who has done so well in life.

We took our holidays in Europe when the kids were young because no-one batted an eyelid about kids being up late. We British are quite intolerant of children, don't start me on the neighbours and their complaints about children playing in their own garden with their friends in good weather.

Mumofthreeboys

My own parents were of a similar age.

We were sent to bed at a very early hour when it was still bright outside in the summer months. My next door neighbour who had more freedom, used to wait for me to climb out the bedroom window and we had many adventures when my parents thought I was asleep.

One night my Mother found me in the kitchen full dressed, having sneaked in the back door. I told her I had come down to get cold drink and was dressed because the bedroom was cold. She didn't bat an eyelid and I have always thought she didn't care what we did so long as she and my Dad got some peace and quiet in the evenings.

She was a SAHP not though choice, but because it was the norm of the day for Mums in the 50s/60s.

Each to their own, if your child is ok being up at that times its fine. Personnally my DD(5) is in bed most days at 6-6:30 she needs the sleep and doesnt nap after school or during the day (weekends) so if you dont have a problem then don’t worry. As for the frog jumping thats kids being kids imo!! (Supermarket or not!!) Polite responce to the lady by the way

I wouldn't. 7 or 7.30 is bedtime no matter what but whatever everyone does their own thing. I wouldn't lecture someone else !

staples
my dm introduced her ds to her theatre group, bearing in mind both are 80 and 83, the ds hated All the old people in the group

Women now in their 60s and 70s frequently brought up their children by reference to the works of Penelope Leach, who was very into co-sleeping, demand feeding and letting children set their own routine.

Bullshit. My grandmother has just turned 70 and the children followed her routine, no demand feeding, no co-sleeping.

Most GPS I've met in my lifetime have not been Penelope leech types

I am 52 and used penelope leach, my dc were born 1994 onwards, gf was 1999 so wiki tells me.
you cannot generalise