Aibu to think “loola” and “noony” aren’t words interchangeable with genitals?!

[Mightymelon]

And that cutesy words for your genitals help NOBODY AT ALL?

To cut a long story short - I’m friends with a girl, who has seen one of those posts on Facebook, about correctly naming genitals to avoid confusion when kids have uti’s or worse, have been abused.
DF mentioned that in this thread as well as the willy/mini/front bottom names loola and noony being used by children instead of vagina/ vulva and penis, and said she’d never heard of it before. Nor have I?

Firstly I would like to know if IABU to have never heard of these words?

SECONDLY I WOULD LIKE TO URGE YOU WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS APPROPRIATE WORDS FOR THEIR GENITALS SO THAT IF ANYTHING’s WRONG THE ADULTS WHO DEAL WITH IT (TEACHERS/CHILDMINDERS/HCP’s/THE POLICE) CAN DO SO WITH AS LITTLE TRAUMA AND FUSS AS POSSIBLE!!

sugarPlumFairly when I studied early childhood and middle childhood development back in the 90' the topic of using correct terminology for vagina and penis instead of nicknames was discussed by our lecturer and class. This was 2 decades ago. Back then there was a correlation between treating the correct terminology for genitals as taboo and children equating that with shame. I have observed over the last 2 decades that some children do actually think, from what they've said to me or each other, that vagina and penis are naughty or bad. I've observed children who use the word vagina or penis seem to be very comfortable about their body and how boys and girls have different bodies. These are children in childcare or nursery. The children who seem comfortable and completely unfazed likely come from families and homes where being open and honest is ok. Being uptight, anxious about genitals is probably more of a problem then merely having a nickname for your private parts. It's just, in my experience, people who don't feel uptight about vagina and penis don't usually use nicknames for vagina and penis.

Fwiw I don't think think this is a feminist issue at all. Both girls and boys should have a healthy attitude towards their own bodies and other people's bodies. Both girls and boys need to feel comfortable enough to communicate that they have been touched inappropriately or have an issue with their genitals. I also don't think this is about the language police it is about facilitating effective communication. Sometimes people do have miscommunication when made up words are used.

All of this is arguable guys but what is not arguable is that the NSPCC and CCP STRONGLY suggest using the correct names for genitalia for a number of reasons.

Even if you can argue your way out of a paper bag

About the rights or wrongs of teaching little Charlotte about her vulva and vagina or instead her ‘delicate Minnie moo foofoo flower, then I think it’s worth reminding ourselves that other than ONE bizarre poster, basically anyone who has worked in any child protection has agreed here; giving childen correct informairon about their bodies and not in a twee, babyish way, is healthier AND safer for all concerned.
By all means keep focusing on how ‘right’ You are but please actually read this post.

Because when it comes to child protection, it matters

Proper medical terminology here. Some of those names are totally random. I don’t understand why vulva or penis is ‘child unfriendly’ and special words like fairy or tuppence replace them- it’s madness!

I get the point that children should know the right words but I don't see why we need to use them in conversation. Do you also refer to your abdomen, navel and buttocks instead of tummy, belly button and bottom? As an adult I have never used the word vulva except when speaking to a doctor so I don't see why a 4 year old has to use it. And people who use 'vagina' for the whole area drive me mad, that is only the word for the internal tube. The whole point is there are loads of female parts with different names. Unless you use 'genitals' you are being inaccurate. We say girly bits but they know the real words too.

We say girly bits but they do know the right words. They learn in year 1 here.

However I dont think Ive hardly ever uaed vagina or vulva irl. I think even at the doctors we might have said "down below" but ive hardly ever had occassion to.

Similarly i would say itchy bum to/with the kids rather than anus.

I quite like arse but dont use that with kids or certain friends either.

Sugar plum- you haven't met our family then! Using cutesy names is all about covering up shame about our bodies. Vaginas and penises rock!

A quick pubmed search has found a good US paper which showed that while few preschool children knew the correct terms for their non-genital parts few knew the correct terminology for their genitals.

With citations, the authors state that, "Some sexual offenders avoid children who know the correct names because this suggests these children have been educated about body safety and sexuality. One convicted offender (who had assaulted 75 children by the time he was stopped) reported that when children knew the correct terms for their different body parts, he would leave them alone"

My bold.

digitalcommons.fiu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1121&context=sferc

*sorry, while most knew non-genital parts in first post.

sugarPlumFairly
I just had a quick perusal of the content and framework for The National Professional Qualification for Headship (NPQH). It does not mention any of the subjects or content pertaining to early or middle childhood development. Human development is an interdisciplinary science and perhaps it isn't considered necessary for qualifying someone for the role of head teacher. In which case I can only surmise that my training and your training were completely different courses with differing benchmarks for competency and completely different content. Your training does not have any bearing on my training or my comment or my observations or my opinions professional or personal. The fact you have tried to construct an argument based on a very poor comparison leads me to believe that are probably suited to the bureaucratic side of being a head teacher rather than pedagogy. Or you have simply made it up to give weight to your argument.

Anyone can call genitalia whatever they want but very few people on here are honest about why they do it

I personally opt for clunge and tallywhacker.

Excellent link nolongersurprised. I've copy and pasted a few sentences from that paper that pertain to this thread:

'Furthermore, children who lack sexual knowledge may be more
vulnerable to sexual abuse. Some sexual offenders avoid children who know the correct names
for their genitals because this suggests these children have been educated about body safety and
sexuality (Elliot, Browne, & Kilcoyne, 1995). One convicted offender (who had assaulted 75
children by the time he was stopped) reported that when children knew the correct terms for their
different body parts, he would leave them alone (Sprengelmeyer & Vaughan, 2000).
Along with facilitating disclosure, teaching proper names for all body parts helps children
develop a healthy, positive body image (Wurtele, 1993; Wurtele, Melzer, & Kast, 1992). As
Honig (2000) states, it gives children “naming power” ' digitalcommons.fiu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1121&context=sferc

Sandyfagina.

This is one of the many topics that only here on MN causes so much attention. My children know the real words but we use willy and Minnie. And no I am not going to insist they say penis and vulva in the same way I don't insist they say say the correct words for tummy etc. I think if someone working with children can't work out that children have a different word for penis and vulva then perhaps they need to rethink their career choice.

When my daughter was being interviewed by the police about her abuser, I very clearly remember the officer telling me afterward that he had hoped she would use the word 'penis' to describe what the abuser did to her.

When a child uses the correct terminology in abuse cases, it makes it much harder to discredit the child should the case go to court. This is unfortunately true.

No parent wants to consider their child could be abused. Unfortunately it is very common and teaching the correct names of genitalia to a child, may be one of the best parenting decisions you make.

CollyW

I’m sorry you and your DD went through that. Cases have been thrown out of court because a good defence can argue a ‘minnie molly moo’ is something different to what a child is saying. Reasonable doubt is all that is needed, give them NONE

Whatever words are used just make sure you’re open enough that your children can speak to you about their ‘private areas’

It was such a taboo in our house there was no way on earth I could even say a cutesy term to my mum.

She went to her grave never knowing what happened to me because I could never say the words.

CollyWombles and ColinsVeryJolly

We use "mini", the same word I used when I was a kid. Never caused me any trouble. It was quite a popular one actually, in the class, some of my friends used it too.

CollyWombles and ColinsVeryJolly meant to also say sorry you've had the experiences you had.

keep you hand off your holiday money

Heard that from elderly relatives of you were seen touching front bottom. ‘‘Tis quite grim.

Collywombles and CollinsVeryJolley