what happened in the shop..

[Butterflykissess]

i was at the shops earlier and had a basket full of shopping, i went to the self checkout (before anyone suggest i use the tills in future i want to state that i suffer from anxiety and find it difficult so i use the self service.).. anyway as i had quite abit of shopping the whole amount wouldnt fit so i decided it was best to do it in two transactions. after i had finished i decided to leave a few bits behind (left in the basket) anyway as i went to walk off the man shouted "excuse me do you want this stuff!" i said "no sorry im leaving that behind" thinking it was flipping obvious if i was walking away, but whatever.

anyway he then says to me "well what about the pampers" hanging onto my clip on the pram. i said i had already paid for them, he asked for my receipt, meanwhile bare in mind everyone was staring at me! panicked i started to go through the bags looking for it but couldnt find it. he then accused me of trying to steal them! i was so humilated. i asked him to check the cctv. at this point the whole place was starting at me.

anyway as he walked off to check the cctv i found the receipt in my pocket. i went over put the receipt down infront of him and said "there is the receipt." i didnt even hang around i walked straight out but i am so humiliated. safe to say i cant go in there again! aibu to think it could have been done more discreet?

Of course the vast majority of the posters on this thread are the ones who are out of step with normality and common supermarket behaviours... That seems completely rational - the majority of people on mumsnet don't exist in the real world, or go to such places, right?

Never seen someone leave items at a self-checkout, put two transactions through, or load up a pram with a full shop either, so yes, I'm with the ethereal mumsnet majority who the seems to OP think are confined to internet-land... If you act suspiciously, people will be suspicious, will carry out their jobs and question suspected shop-lifters. It's really no reason not to go back, but it's only you and your kids who will be inconvenienced if you don't.

A lot of supermarkets have lockers for trolleys and prams fit in there. Or yes, you can ask at the customer service desk and they are usually helpful. I have a double buggy no car and I do that. If I can’t I limit what I buy to fit into the basket and maybe a couple of items balanced on the hood max. Or get one of the other kids to help carry a basket of light stuff. Is one of the other kids sensible enough to push the pram? Or do you know anyone who could pass a sling on to you?

Honestly, no matter how okay you think putting shopping into a pram is, it’s just not. Especially if you’re then going to carry on putting big red flags out there like putting a big shop through self service in two transactions and leaving stuff behind.

If you’ve been regularly going in and doing these things, you’re going to have marked your card.

its not theif till its left the shop so i still see no issue. i always done it. never been stopped till this incident. cant use a sling as i cant hold a baby in a sling and bags. children are too young to be trusted with the pram. and i dont want to ask the store to look after it honestly ive actually never seen anyone do that.

theft*

I've always done that if I was shopping with the pram, why carrying heavy items around when you have a perfectly good basket? It has never been an issue, and my frends have always done the same. You cannot be shoplifting until you pass the tills.*

Don’t be ridiculous. You can very much be involved in shop lifting before you leave a store. And that’s exactly what security look out for. You just don’t get challenged until you leave the store. And yes, putting stuff in prams or in your jacket or down your trousers attracts attention. Especially because people who put things in the pram or hang it off them know they can get away with it by saying ‘Whoops, sorry forgot that was there’ or ‘Baby must have grabbed it.’

It’s not just supermarket staff either, if members of the public alerted to shoplifters, pram stuffing was the most frequent cause.

Drama llama! What on earth could OP try and sue for?!

OP: as many have said, sorry to hear about the anxiety you report, but you need to get a handle on it. There's lots of help out there for genuine cases of anxiety, you shouldn't feel ashamed about seeking it out. That said, you were BU, but I'm sure you'll learn from your mistakes and not have to worry about this again.

no matter how okay you think putting shopping into a pram is, it’s just not.

that really isn't the problem here! It might have attracted the attention of the staff, but there's nothing wrong with using the pram basket. People do it all the time, but be sensible, put big heavy items in there.

I always put shopping under the pushchair then take it out to pay and put it back

Then get smaller shops and go more frequently!

You can very much be involved in shop lifting before you leave a store. And that’s exactly what security look out for. You just don’t get challenged until you leave the store.

Well yes, by definition you steal whilst you are in the store. But not being challenged until you leave is fine, because when I leave the store, I have paid! Again, never had a problem with it, in any of the different supermarkets I went to. I have never heard anyone having issues locally either .

Complete non issue.

Unfortunately prams are very often involved in shoplifting, evidently much more than you think! Staff and security are most definitely trained on common techniques - which does include suspicious behaviour with prams, hence why the staff member wanted to double check your receipt.

It’s not because parents are likely to be thieves either. There are probably times when a parent is genuinely flustered in the store and forgets to take items out of the pram and mistakenly walks out without paying for those items. It’s a genuine mistake but still shoplifting.

The best way to keep your anxiety going and make it more problematic is to avoid. The best thing you can do is go to that shop tomorrow, take someone with you, whatever it takes but go back. Otherwise it will become another no go area and make life trickier. Your anxiety might be high but it won’t stay that way if you turn and face it. Sorry, OP, I treat people with anxiety and your comment ‘I can’t go back there’ stood out. Do you have help with your anxiety?

the security staff should do it discreetly, not in front of all the people. i think you have a right to complain to the manager that he made you feel so upset. explain you have young children and you are an anxious person.

and i think its not a good idea to put shopping in pram's basket before you pay.

He had every right to challenge you and I think your perception of the way he did it has been tainted by your extreme anxiety.

You sound pretty entitled to me, not giving a crap about the shop workers who have to run around putting back random stuff you 'changed your mind' about. I think you need to look at your attitude.

its not normal to leave stuff behind? ofcourse it is. dont be ridiculous.

I have shopped for myself for 25+ years now and never left anything at a till I would say it is unusual. Why would you pick up things you don't want/need or things you think you do want/need and suddenly decide you don't. But it's not an offence to do it just a bit rude to expect people working in the shop to put it back.
The security guard was being unreasonable but just bear in mind they probably deal with all sorts of people and can't tell by looking at you that you are honest. Having stuff in and hanging off buggies is not ideal as a lot of people shoplift food using buggies.
Do they have scan as you shop where you go? that would make your life so much easier. You can scan everything put it straight in the bag and you don't have to worry about putting stuff in the buggy, taking the baby out etc

You lost me when you said you left things in the basket. What inconsiderate rude behaviour! Who does that?

She didn't have enough money. She was embarrassed. I thought it was rude until the OP explained.

I have left stuff in a shop ONCE, and that was when I gotten to the till and realised I'd forgotten my purse. I couldn't apologise enough. And I let someone know, I didn't just bugger off!

As someone with anxiety, your behaviour was very odd and that's probably what made the security guard suspicious.

Speaking as someone with anxiety*

so what should i have said "oh sorry i cant pay the rest as i dont have enough money on me" how humiliating. i left some shopping behind, i didnt kill a kitten!

How horrible OP what a dick. I would definitely go back to the store and see a solicitor too, fucking dip shit. You definitely have a case to sue, do not let this go as it will fester, hold you head high, email the stores head office too.

Oh bloody hell, what planet are you on??!!

There's nothing odd about using a pram for shopping.

There's nothing odd about leaving items at the tills, I've seen people do it hundreds of times.

There's nothing odd about using self service tills and then realising it won't all fit. You CANT take the bags off until you've paid or it tells you to put the bag back. My mother regularly picks up items for my grandmother and pays for them separately at SS tills with 2 separate transactions. I've done the same myself. It's no big deal.

People with anxiety find some simple things difficult. I've used SS tills to avoid dealing with people when I didn't feel like it, just like I prefer to live chat or email companies rather than call customer services.

There was no need for the security guard to shout or assume that you were stealing nappies. Plenty of people would be flustered when asked to produce a receipt - mine usually gets thrown in a bag. It sounds like a crappy experience, but I'd do my best to go back there and act like nothing happened and eventually you'll start to feel that way.

Wow some of these comments are so rude.
I think you need you need to look at your attitude!!
Nope, she needs to look at the fact that she has anxiety and find a coping mechanism to deal with it. So what, she left a few items in a basket, hardly a first world problem!!